Today is Wednesday, November 25, 2009. It is the 329th day of the year with 36 to go.
Today’s History
In 1963, the body of President John F. Kennedy was laid to rest at Arlington National Cemetery.
In 2002, President George W. Bush signed legislation creating the Department of Homeland Security.
Today’s News
Daddy Daycare
An Indianapolis man has been arrested after he left his son in a tractor trailer while he went into a strip club to have a drink. The child is five years old. The man left the boy in the cabin of the tractor trailer watching cartoons so he could go inside and have a couple. When he left the strip joint, he was so drunk that he couldn’t find his truck so he thought someone had stolen it. He called the police to report the truck and his child missing. The police informed him that the truck was still in the parking lot where he had left it. They charged him with child neglect for leaving the child unattended in a high crime area and public intoxication.
What do you tell your kid when he grows up? “Hope that didn’t traumatize you, kid, sitting in the parking lot of a strip club while daddy gets his rocks off.” The report states that the mother came to pick up the child and the husband. I’m wondering why he didn’t just take his kid home, or call his wife and tell her to come get the kid. Actually, I’m wondering why she just didn’t leave the husband at the jail, get her kid and just go home. I hope she doesn’t intend to stay married to someone that would leave her child in the parking lot of a strip club.
Wanderlust
A 13-year-old boy with Asperger’s Syndrome, who had been missing for 11 days, was found wandering the subway. Asperger’s Syndrome is similar to autism. The boy had been at school when he ran away because he thought he was in trouble. When the mother called the police to report him missing, they blew her off stating that many teenage children run away from home. She tried to explain about her son’s condition. Children with Asperger’s have difficulty socializing and communicating; they generally won’t ask for help because they are too shy to approach someone they don’t know. The kid had a few dollars in his pocket and survived by eating lollipops and bags of chips he bought from vending stands. When authorities found him, he was still in the same clothes he’d been wearing the day he went missing. The mother says the police didn’t even try to help her until the boy had been missing five days because they thought he was just another runaway.
That’s messed up. What if something had happened to that boy? Yeah, a lot of teenagers do run away but the mother told the police that he was retarded and they pretty much blew her off. Retarded kids run away too but mostly because they are scared and don’t know what to do. Luckily he wasn’t too retarded because he knew enough to buy himself something to eat and he stayed in the subway system so he wasn’t exposed to the cold. I know I couldn’t survive 11 days on the streets.
F– Me Up, Facebook
Authorities believe a posting on Facebook encouraged some bad ass schoolchildren to beat up a boy because he had red hair. Police found a Facebook posting declaring Friday to be “Kick a Ginger Day,” in which people were supposed to go around and kick redheads. The red-headed boy at a middle school in California was beat up in two separate occasions on Friday. It is possible that the Facebook posting was derived from a South Park episode. The boy was not seriously injured and no one has been arrested.
Kick a Ginger Day…yeah. That’s all I’ma say about that.
F– My Life, Facebook
A Canadian woman is taking her employer to court after they revoked her benefits due to some pictures she posted on Facebook. The woman had been on extended leave because she was diagnosed as clinically depressed. She was relying on sick leave benefits to help pay her bills, but the company stopped paying the benefits when she started posting pictures of her at parties and on vacation. They said if she was feeling good enough to go to a party then she was feeling well enough to go back to work. The woman claims that her shrink told her to help battle depression she should treat herself and take herself out. The photos included Chippendale dancers, a birthday party and a beach holiday.
More than ever people are using our social networking sites to spy on us. I’ve recently read a story where a woman was denied her degree after she posted a picture of herself drunk at a party. The woman was getting her teaching degree. The school contended that the woman wouldn’t be a good candidate to be a teacher since she was getting trashed. I completely disagree with the fact that people are using our business against us, but until there’s some kind of legislation against it, we have to protect ourselves. Although there’s ways around everything, make your social sites private. I guess whoever “they” are thinks we should be sitting in our houses with the lights off in order to fit into this neat little square of morality “they” have created for us. A party is a perfectly reasonable place to be drunk, but if there had been children present, than maybe this isn’t somebody you would want to have as a teacher. There’s a difference. This woman was depressed, so she should probably get out, get some fresh air, enjoy life to bring her spirits up. Or maybe, according to the insurance company, she should have sat in the house and slit her wrists, proving that she really was depressed. People are so stupid.
Fighting Fat
Peruvian police have arrested several members of a gang that have been going around killing people for their fat. They were using the fat for cosmetics. The gang confessed to killing at least five people for their fat. Two were arrested with about $60,000 worth of liquid fat in bottles. Even though fat has a cosmetic use, there isn’t a huge black market value for the stuff. The gang would attack a victim, kill him, and then cut off his head, arms and legs. The organs would then be removed so that they could drain the fat into tubes. The police are continuing to investigate the disappearance of 60 other people who may have been victims of this fat-snatching gang.
Well, there’s certainly a new way to lose weight: have a gang member kill you and suck the fat out of your body. All the Hollywood stars will be jumping on this one. In the old days, they used to steal your teeth, now they want your fat.
Daddy Daycare, Part 2
A Minnesota man admitted that he spoke only Klingon (a fake alien language from Star Trek) to his child for the first three years of his life. He said he was interested in whether the boy would acquire it like any other human language. He said he wanted to understand how children learn languages better. The wife spoke to the child in English. The boy is now in high school, but the father had long since stopped speaking to him in Klingon because it was obvious the kid didn’t like it and wouldn’t respond. He said he didn’t want to make it into a problem.
Uhm. It already is a problem. If I was the wife I would have been like, “Either speak a real language or I’m divorcing you.” What if he had messed up the child’s language learning abilities? What if the kid never learned how to speak English (or any other language) properly? What if he developed some other mental issue? When the boy starts swinging from the rafters pretending he is a Klingon then what? People just don’t think.
Today’s Thought
Self is the only prison that can bind the soul. ~Henry van Dyke
As a teenager I went through intensive etiquette training. I studied deportment and manners. I was schooled in elegance and posture. I learned how to properly fold my napkin across my lap at supper. I learned how to sit with feet crossed delicately at the ankles. I learned how to speak. I learned how to walk—glide, rather. I even learned things like order of precedence (a fancy way of setting the table according to one’s rank). I can throw large dinner parties. I can wrap gifts. I know how to write thank-you notes. I even know how to smile and nod when someone says something I disagree with. I also learned other useless things like flower pressing and paper folding—these old school activities of young ladies of dignity and quality.
The training was intricate but very useful. Someone once remarked that I am now qualified for embassy work, but I like to brag that I could properly entertain the Queen of England with all the necessary protocol. I’m grateful to have jumped through such hoops in addition to my basic education. It’s made me a more well-rounded person. Of course, the Army undid a lot of that training because I still swear like a sailor and pass gas without a thought. At any rate, what I’m trying to tell you is that I know which fork to use when dining in an upscale restaurant. I’m not a backwards corn-fed hillbilly scooping my peas off my knife with my elbows on the table.
This weekend, my friends and I took ourselves out for a lavish outing in New York. We glammed around in limousines, dropped $400 on a VIP section and shopped like there were no bills to pay. It was all for my friend’s 25th birthday extravaganza. For her luxe dinner, we ate at Smith & Wollensky’s Grill. It’s a rather nice restaurant serving top quality steaks and chops, perhaps on the same scale or better as Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse. Just so you know it ain’t TGIFriday’s.
We arrived to the restaurant in a limousine, not necessarily out of showboating purposes, but of necessity because there were eight of us and we couldn’t fit in a cab and who would take the subway dressed to the nines in cocktail dresses and high heels?
While waiting for our table to be set, we lounged at the bar and I noticed that we were getting some very obvious stares from other patrons. My friend Ceciley really killed it in her bright red cocktail dress and stiletto pumps. She’s a makeup artist so her makeup was exquisite. She is a confident black woman in charge of herself and it is very obvious that she could really care less about what others think of her. These two white women were really in her face. I think they were impressed but didn’t want to admit it. They were foreign, but I couldn’t hear them entirely so I’m not sure where they were from.
They had other looks for the rest of the party. Derisive, condescending looks were thrown at certain women in the group, probably because of the way they were dressed. I’m not here to bash anybody’s mode of attire because I feel that people are going to wear what they want to wear, but it was disappointing to be looked at like we just came up from the fields for our evening rations.
I noticed almost immediately that we were the only black people—check that, people of colour in the entire restaurant. There were two Asian women, but they were the white American type of Asian, not Chung Lee Asian. I would imagine their names were something like Victoria Lee and Nancy Kwan. That’s usually how it works. There weren’t any black people, no Hispanics, no dark-skinned Eastern Europeans, damn sure no Middle Eastern folk.
Not only was the crowd white, but they were like Grand Ole Party, old money, silver spoon in the mouth, daddy sails in the Saint Bart’s regatta every year, while mommy goes to the spa in Switzerland type of white. I bet all their forefathers came over on the Mayflower and the rest of their ancestors fought with William the Conqueror in 1066. That’s how white they were.
A group of yuppies at the table next to us kept staring. Alan Greenspan (hahah) sat behind us and I think he needed an exorcist because his head turned a full 360 every five minutes so he could gawk at this group of black women out for a night of cabernet sauvignon and lamb chops.
I’ve written before that I’m always embarrassed to be seen in a large group of black people because I’m always painfully aware of how I’m perceived. Despite years of etiquette schooling, who could tell in such a large group. Why do I care that these toffee-nosed bigots think poorly of me? Why do I even stress?
Maybe because it makes me depressed to think that after all these years, here we are in the grand year of 2009, and people still can’t get over the fact that some black people really have earned their place in society. We could afford our meal. We would not have sat down to dine if we had any thought that we would not be able to settle the $700 bill that showed up five minutes after our desserts. Most of us knew the difference between a ribeye and filet mignon. Ceciley, our wine connoisseur, knew that red wine went best with steaks. Most of us are sophisticated. Damn it, I know which fork to use. I know where to put my bread knife. I know how to hold a Bordeaux glass.
I felt like the waiter thought it was somehow beneath him to wait on black women. His manner was, of course, professional, but he was very curt as if he had something better to do, like pick the lint from his belly button.
I think it’s important how we present ourselves to society. I’m always very conscious of presentation. I believe that we should be who we want to be, but we must be prepared for the consequences. If you want to look backwards and urban, by all means, please do so, but you will never fit in white society. Some of us say to ourselves that we shouldn’t have to “fit in,” and perhaps you might be right, but unfortunately, the world is the way the world is. If it’s going to change, we have to perpetuate that change. Instead of setting ourselves apart, we need to step in and take over. By this I mean we should assimilate and take on their characteristics and then make it our own.
Many black people dub this “crossing over,” “selling out,” or whatever else other term, but I don’t see it that way at all. If I want to eat in Smith & Wollenksy’s every night of the week, I could, but I don’t the Talbots and the Mulroneys staring at me like I’m one of the Browns (from Meet the Browns.) As long as I can pay the bill, I have the right to be there just as anybody else, but what a lot of black people don’t seem to understand is that we don’t represent ourselves as if we could be high class.
Even if we were white skinned, we wouldn’t be acceptable because it’s our manner and presentation. That is the point I’m trying to make.
Today is Thursday, November 19, 2009. It is the 323rd day of the year with 42 to go.
Today’s History
In 1831, the 20th president of the United States, James Garfield was born in Ohio.
In 1863, President Abraham Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address.
Today’s News
Hit Man High School
A Georgia high school teacher is under arrest after he allegedly ordered a hit on one of his students. According to police, the incident began between the student and teacher when they got into a verbal altercation. The teacher asked the student to step outside the classroom for a moment, and then he asked the student if he was gay. When the student told him it was none of his business, the teacher said he would “hit him in his ‘effin mouth.” The student reported the incident to the school but nothing happened. A few days later, the teacher told another student that he would pay him to kill the boy. That student told the boy what the teacher had said and he filed a police report. The teacher was removed from the school after the police report was filed. A school spokesperson said the story is “bunk.”
As if parents don’t have enough to worry about: school bullies, school shootings and school lunches, now you have to be concerned if the teacher is going to hire a hit man on your child. This is kind of crazy to me. It makes hearing about a school shooting almost normal. I thought they rigourously screen teachers? Apparently not. You can just tell what kind of scummy, hood school they go to. The school spokesperson said the story was “bunk.” Oh, yeah, real professional.
Leggo My Eggo
Kellogg Company wants you to know that there might be a shortage of Eggo waffles beginning next month because of some problems at two of its facilities. One plant had to be shut down because of a storm that dumped unprecedented amounts of rain. Another plant had to be shut down indefinitely for repairs. It may be mid-2010 before we can get our Eggos back. A stay-at-home mom from PA says she usually buys the boxes by the dozens and is thinking about putting a few of them on Ebay to make some extra cash. A short supply of Eggo waffles at local grocery stores has even started a Twitter trend. Eggo has a Facebook fan page and they are already starting to complain that they can’t get their Eggos.
Seriously? I mean, seriously. All of this over some cardboard frozen waffles? Okay, actually, I do occasionally buy Eggo waffles, although I prefer to make my own. It is kind of easy to pop two in the toaster and slather some butter on it (you know I love butter) and some real Vermont maple syrup to make the things taste better. You know, matter of fact, I think I might have to log off for a minute and go up the street to see if I can still get some. Hey, leggo my eggo!
The Geezer Bandit
Authorities in San Diego are looking for an elderly, thin grey-haired man known as the Geezer Bandit because he is responsible for holding up five banks since the summer. The man appears to be in his seventies, according to reports. He recently robbed a Bank of America by holding a teller at gunpoint. He demanded cash and then took off on foot. There is a $16,000 award if you turn gramps in.
It’s a rough world out there. Granddaddy’s social security checks ain’t enough to keep him in his dentures so he got to get out there and make that cash anyway he know how. I’m actually laughing because Grandpa has been able to rob five different banks so far. He must be doing something right, or maybe nobody thinks a sweet old man is going to do anything. He got that cash! Hahaha.
Just Like a Man
An elderly Australian man drove 400 miles to fetch a newspaper but only because he got lost. He intended to go up the street to get a paper but took a wrong turn onto a major Australian highway. He drove nine hours before he stopped to get directions. After finding a cop at a gas station, the old man gave the cop his cell phone and asked him to call his wife. He was reunited with his family yesterday. He told reporters that he just wanted to go on a nice drive and that he didn’t need a GPS because he has only been lost once.
So typical. You don’t need a GPS because you’ve only been lost once, but look how lost you got. Four-hundred miles and nine hours later, you are all the way on the other side of the planet and you don’t need a GPS. If I were your wife, I would have told the cop to let you stay out there and figure out how to get home on your own.
Foreign Swine Flu Vaccinations
You know you should not purchase medications from foreign countries because you never know what they put in that stuff. You know they don’t have regulations like we have in the U.S. Here’s a good example why: Moldova (an obscure country in Eastern Europe) has decided that in order to combat swine flu the army would issue its soldiers extra rations of onions and garlic. The soldiers will receive approximately .9 ounces of onions and .5 ounces of garlic which amounts to a small onion and several cloves of garlic. In Moldova, onions and garlic are believed to boost the immune system. Twenty-four soldiers became ill with swine flu and that is the reason why the onion intake has been increased.
How about wash your nasty hands and cover your gross mouth? That’s a good home remedy. Better yet, go get vaccinated. I’m sure onions and garlic help to a very minimal degree; I do believe in home remedies myself but I’m not about to sit somewhere dying of the plague and eating onions in the hope that it will just disappear.
Today’s Thought
You simply cannot hang a millionaire in America. ~Bourke Cockran
Where the fighting is hardest, there will I be.
Let them come if they dare, we’ll be there.
What a positively horrible weekend. Another weekend in the trenches.
Now you all know that I love the army very much, even on its worst days. I like to complain about everything because it gives me a sense of control in a world full of chaos. But this weekend was particularly rough. I almost thought about defecting to Canada, but then I realised that it’s winter and it’s probably frigid up there right now.
So at any rate, what made this weekend so ghastly? Let’s start out with a FULL THREE DAYS. We only do these full three days once or twice a year, and usually we go down to the Vietnam-era labour camp and just getting down there, setting up shop and getting back takes up half the drill period. Makes time go by much faster.
When you sit with people for three days straight, you start seeing things about them that you really don’t care to see. Personalities start coming out. Everything becomes a melodrama. I found myself annoyed more than once.
Friday, I had to give my class and I’m grateful to Waders and SF for helping me out on it. You know I got these metal jonts in my mouth now and I can hardly speak. All this eloquence training gone out the window as I speak and slather all over people. Truly annoying. I’m glad it was well received, and stuff like this is putting me on the map so I can make E5. I’m an ambitious little somebody, not because I’m all Army Strong or whatever, but because I want the money. I plan on retiring from the Army so I can live a good life and sail around the world with my pool boy when I’m 65 1/3, or whatever the retirement age is.
Saturday morning we got up to take the PT test. I was more prepared in October because me and Burks had been brutality training while we were in PANAMAX, but when they postponed the crap till November, I got kind of lazy. I do workout everyday, but not everyday is a brutality workout. You can’t do brutality for two months straight, but I couldn’t slack off. I must say I’m disappointed in my peers that they didn’t pass because it makes them targets for some of the BS that is now going on in the unit. I’ve been doing my HUMINT collecting again and I’m seeing some very strange and suspicious things going on.
I’m not going to post it here because one must be careful about what she writes on the internet, just know that we all need to be on our Ps and Qs these days now that certain things have come to pass. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.
I feel like I could have done much better on the run but failure to drink enough water and trepidation of running on a goose-shit slicked track forced me to slow down. I did 17:24 or something like that, and I know I can run much faster. I was praised by some senior NCOs for being a motivator to my fellow junior soldiers, but I sometimes see this as patronising. The thing is my age. Yes, I’m a junior soldier and I probably don’t know as much about the Army as I should, but I’m very grown and have been working and out in the real world for quite some time. I’m not doing anything special other than what a woman my age should be doing: handling business.
PT made the rest of the day draining. I like to go to sleep immediately after working out but unfortunately there’s no such luck. It also didn’t help that SPC Nosey McBrowniePants gave a horrendously long briefing on purpose because she was annoyed that no one in her section was helping her out. You know I will be the first one to tell you to do your job, but seriously, sometimes it’s really not that serious. It was too ridiculous to be believed that she actually wanted us to individually test on treating a severed limb, a class we’ve had a hundred and one times. I would want to save a fellow soldier’s life, and I hope they would save mine, but the raw truth is that I would probably pass the fuck out if I saw blood spurting out of a wound like I’m in the murder scene of Saw VII: Let the Bloodbath Continue.
Then all that drama that occurred after the class. Completely unnecessary. People were screaming each other. Tempers flared. Everyone being all overdramatic. Attitudes hot. I don’t really have time for all that. It’s just unnecessary to me. I prefer to be laidback. I know I’m a class clown when I goof off with my friends but that is in private and not for outsiders to see. I’m into keeping a low profile, and I’ve noted to a close friend that it’s time for the men and boys to separate.
I say that not because I’m trying to become Sergeant Major of the Universe but because even if I never get promoted, I just don’t want to be seen as “that person.” I see what they do to people they don’t think highly of. You become the butt of everybody’s jokes. You become the person they run to when they have a shit detail. Remember SPC I Slept With My Own Brother (that’s a story for another day.) Anyway, she was the unit gofer, and not in a good way. Anything that was shitty they tasked to her. The worst jobs, like the one time we had to have guards, they put her on the very late night shift, standing outside all night watching some weapons when it was freezing cold. She always had to be A-driver in the HMMMVVV or whatever the damn nomenclature is. She was the one being sent to get shit like mayonaise and toilet paper.
That’s humiliating and irritating to me. I don’t want to be that one, so if it means sitting in a hole by myself while everybody else jacks off, I guess that’s what I’m going to have to do. Because seriously, the first time someone asks me to alphabetise mop handles, I’m going to wig out and it’s not a pretty sight when I get to cussing, because I make people cry.
So by Sunday, it was glaringly apparenty that no one had any real desire to be there. Best friends were ready to stab each other. I snapped at a certain witless specialist because she’s so spacey and silly that I can’t believe she’s managed to make it through all 25 of her years without doing herself serious injury. Actually, that can be debated, but she truly is a lost cause and every time I see her face to face, I’m reminded of all the reasons why I stopped spending time with her in the first place.
Then I had to jump in someone else’s ass because he acts like a mildly retarded 4 year old. Seriously? I know it’s because his mother wipes his ass for him and if he had to take a shit on his own he would fail. I’ve had to cuss him out a few times this year, but I see it’s time for an annual refresher cuss out. I saw that he was getting on SF’s nerves but she doesn’t have my savoir faire. She did try to say something to him but she doesn’t come across right and someone had to check her.
See, what you do is, take his ass out back and beat him with a wet stick, then he won’t act like that anymore. It’s a damn shame, and he’s like 25 years old. When are you ever going to grow up? And the other one, his ass is 40. I’m not sure who told him that he was apart of the crew, but his application was denied. How someone married him is quite beyond my capacity. He’s a know-it-all contentious bastard and I wish his paperwork would hurry so he go away to his training and be gone for some months so I wouldn’t have to see his ass.
Okay, see, I said I wasn’t going to take this to that level and apparently I’m there and back again.
Anyway, Sunday during first formation I was awarded an ARCOM. It was completely unexpected. I figured I would get a certificate just for breathing, or at the very least an AAM just because nobody had to ask me to take a shit. I was proud to be recognised for doing something good. A lot of times, I feel like those of who work hard are being overlooked because we’re not apart of the get-a-long gang. Someone told me that I was slowly working my way into the In-Crowd, but I don’t feel like I need to be in order to achieve something.
Unfortunately, that is not the way of the world.
So, in three weeks we get to come back and do this shit all over again. Mandatory fun day, showing up for a gay holiday party that is always geared towards families, leaving those of us unmarried, childless people to feel even more like losers than we already do. I hate stuff like that.
le sigh. I make everything so difficult.
Today is Wednesday, November 18, 2009. It is the 322nd day of the year with 43 to go.
Today’s History
In 1883, the U.S. and Canada adopted a system of standard time zones.
In 1886, the 21st president of the United States, Chester A. Arthur died in New York.
In 1959, Ben-Hur the Biblical-era epic opened in New York.
Today’s News
Ninja Not
A Seattle man is in hospital with severe injuries after he impaled himself on a metal fence while pretending to be a ninja. The man dressed as a ninja with the express intent of trying to rob and assault people. Police say he was attempting to assault a woman who ran away from him. He chased after her and tried to leap over a 5 foot metal fence, but failed to clear it properly. He impaled himself one of the fence posts. Police believe he may have been intoxicated at the time.
Uhm… I’m laughing so hard I’m not even sure what to say to this. You’re pretending to be a ninja and you try to rob someone while pretending to be a ninja. Then you jump over a fence, try to jump over a fence while pretending to be a ninja and you impale yourself…while pretending to be a ninja. I need to understand why you are pretending to be a ninja in the first place. The article describes the man didn’t climb up the fence and try to jump over, no, he tried to LEAP over the fence…a five foot metal fence with sharp spiky posts…while pretending to be a ninja.
Bungled Burglary
Portuguese police had to rescue a man who attempted to rob a grocery store because he got stuck in the window. The man busted out the window and tried to crawl through but it was too small. He even tried to take his pants off to make a little more room, but he just got even more trapped. There was nothing for him to grab hold of so he could pull himself, so he was trapped in the window for 11 hours with his pants around his ankles. Nobody even noticed him until the morning shift showed up the next day and saw him hanging in the window. Then it took 2 hours for the fire department to break him out. They took him to the hospital for his injuries, and then they took him to jail.
Well, at least he didn’t impale himself while pretending to be a ninja, but this is just as bad. I know we’re all a little bit desperate because it’s a horrible economy and the holidays are coming soon. We’re just trying to get by, but you know, if you’re going to lead a life of crime, you should be a little bit smarter about it. I know my fat ass is not fitting through any windows any time soon, so I would try a different method of break-in. You think!
Kannibal Kabob
Three Russian men are under arrest on suspicion of murder after police found dismembered body parts at a bus stop. Police say the three men, who are homeless, attacked another homeless man, murdered him, and then ate him before selling the extra body parts to a kabob stand. The men are charged with “setting upon a foe with knives and a hammer before chopping up his corpse to eat.”
So Russia is no longer on my Top Ten Places to Visit. First, I’m disturbed that the Russians have an actual charge for this sort of thing. “Setting upon a foe with knives and hammer before chopping up his corpse to eat,” indicating that this sort of thing might happen all the time. In America, we just have murder, attempted murder, cannibalism, not an actual title but you know they do things differently in other countries. Secondly, I’m disturbed that they don’t exactly say what happened with the kabob stand. Did the body parts make it into a kabob? Did someone buy a human meat stick and eat it? I need to know. It was like the only crime was “setting upon a foe with knives and a hammer before chopping up his corpse to eat,” but nothing is wrong in buying human body parts, or using body parts to make kabobs and meats. Once again, foreign countries. Yeah.
Drug Dealer Daddy
A Salt Like City mother is under arrest after it was reported that she gave her 9 month old child to a drug dealer. The mother claims that she did not give her child to the drug dealer as payment for drugs, but so that the drug dealer could actually take care of the baby. Someone reported the baby being in a local crackhouse and when police raided the place, they did find a 9 month old child there. The mother is a meth fiend and she gave the drug dealer the baby’s Medicaid card and a note stating that the drug dealer would have guardianship. Police say the bizarre thing was that the house was completely filthy but the baby was clean, healthy, taken care of and not injured in anyway. The child is now in child protective custody.
Well, that’s pretty random. Hmm, why don’t I let my local crack dealer take care of the kid while I’m gone this weekend, because that seems like a reasonable thing someone should do. Now, I know when you’re a meth fiend you don’t usually make the brightest decisions, but I can’t imagine even the most doped up lunatic would think a crackhouse is a daycare center. I guess it truly is bizarre that the dealer was seriously taking good care of the child. I guess he was standing on the corner with the kid in a baby sling while he sold dime bags. Take your child to work day.
Today’s Thought
If an historian were to relate truthfully all the crimes, weaknesses and disorders of mankind, his readers would take his work for satire rather than history. ~Pierre Bayle
So, the other day a friend of mine posted a question on her Facebook. She wanted to know if people thought gays were born that way or somehow became gay in life. Basically, it’s the old nurture versus nature question. She said the breakroom became quite intense when she posed the question. Some people feel like they were born that way; some people believe gays are born gay. Others believe that they’re nurtured to be gay. Who even knows? Only science can tell. Or maybe God.
What do I think? I think gay people are born gay. I believe it is a natural occurence. People shit themselves when it comes to the subject of homosexuality. Normally, I don’t even like to get into these types of discussions because people get so riled up that the whole thing will just come to blows. I’ll have to shank somebody just to get them to listen to my point of view. But since this is my blog and I can damn well write what I want, I’m going to go for it.
If you hate it, then click away and get lost.
Someone once said to me that he noticed that suddenly there were a lot of gays. He said it must be “something in the water,” meaning the way parents were raising their children and the oversexualisation that we see in the media. He said it seemed like being gay was the cool thing to do. I told him that there appears to be an abundance of gays because people are now more comfortable with themselves and they don’t feel like they need to hide who they really are. Since this is the new millennium and everything, some people just feel like enough is enough. Let’s let it all hang out.
In my opinion, I do not believe there are more gays now than there were, let’s say, 100 years ago. There were simply more people hiding the truth from themselves and others. If you really look back in history, there’s plenty mention of gay people. Even the Bible has tales of homosexuality. I’m not talking about the supposed commandments against homosexuality, I’m only talking about the mere mention of gayness.
There are many people that believe that homosexuality is against God’s wishes. Well, since these people believe that God created everything, then why did He create gay people? Oh, that was the work of the devil? Well, then explain to me why God would simply not just strike down all these abominations? Why let them roam the earth freely contaminating the rest of us? He let six million of the chosen people go to the exterminator, but gays are free to fornicate at will. This makes no sense to me.
Look, I am a FIRM believer in God. I believe He is the Truth, the Light and the Way to whatever eternal glories are waiting for me in the afterlife. Except for about 15 minutes when I was 17, I have always believed this, and I will never not believe this.
I now have a confession to make: I used to have a huge problem with gay people. I used to think that it was the worst thing ever. I used to believe that it was against God’s commandments. I used to believe that it was an abomination.
I know that I have a lot of gay friends, and I was comfortable being friends with them because I always knew that our eternal salvation, or damnation, is personal. When we die, we die alone. We stand before our Maker alone. All my sins, even the ones I committed with my best friend, are aired out for me and me alone to make atonement. So I would think, he’s gay, he’s going to hell, but he’s still cool though. My soul was safe because their gayness doesn’t contaminate me. I really believed that. I never told my gay friends how I felt because I always felt like they didn’t need to hear one more person telling them they were going to hell. I’m sure they would find out when they got there.
But after Shannon posed her question and I was reading some of the responses, I had this epiphany. Seriously, a light went off in my head and it was the strangest thing that I just did this huge 180. First of all, how can I assume that I know what God really wants? No, really. Who am I to say, “God doesn’t like that!” I’m not sure why ever went off on the this is not what God wants routine. A lot of people do that, assuming they know what the truth is. We’re all just floundering in this flotsam, trying to get by in life. We’ve subscribed to whatever religion, whatever thought process and we’re just hoping against hope that we even picked the right one–provided that anything is even waiting for us when we get there. And you know, that’s a story for another day.
Secondly, who would really choose to be gay? I know this does not apply to every gay man or lesbian everywhere, but we’ll take some American examples. In most states gays cannot marry whom they love. Imagine spending all of your life with the man or woman you loved and when they died, they could leave you nothing because of you happened to be the same gender as your one true love? Even in the states they are permitted to marry, they still have to battle their unsupportive friends and family. They get to listen to horrid gay jokes. Some of them have been abused, maimed, even killed because they are gay. They suffer isolation and humiliation. Fathers have turned against sons. Mothers have shunned daughters. Siblings alienate siblings. Families have been torn apart.
The cruellest punishment is rejection, and it hurts like a thousand needles in the eye when it comes from your own family. Why would someone choose this life?
And then we come to gays who cannot stomach the consequences and they take themselves to crazy heights trying to pretend they aren’t. I’ve heard of camps where they go to get the gay beat out of them. Supposedly the power of the Lord will preach the gay out, like exorcising some demon. I know a man who forced himself into marriage with a woman. He had hoped to have a child and somehow that would make him not gay. Instead, the wife found out about his natural tendencies. She divorced him and took him for every penny he had. Now he’s miserable.
Who would choose this?
I know there are some gays that do not have it this hard. They are comfortable who they are. They have supportive families. They live in pro-gay marriage states. This is not a blanket statement for everybody, but merely an outline of what some people are up against. I know a lot of young gay men who are only half-way out. They jeopardise relationships and their personal happiness because they can’t share their joy with everybody they know. One partner feels ashamed and the other just wants to be normal. With all the “regular” problems in relationships, why would you purposely add that on?
My sister said there was some priest on Oprah who said that being gay was a gift from God to show people lessons in hatred. I think that sounds pretty horrible, but I am now convinced more than ever that we are either born gay or straight. There’s nothing that the parents did to make their child gay. He or she is simply the way he or she is. Maybe you don’t realise it till you hit puberty and you start contemplating all those raging hormones, but I’ve know a few gay men who said they were quite sure they knew they were gay from a very young age.
And for all of us who are straight, did you wake up one day and decide that you wanted to be straight? I didn’t. I know that I did not make conscious decision that I would be straight. One day I was like, “Oh, that boy is cute.” I didn’t say, “I should like boys over girl,” or “Liking girls is wrong, so I’m going to like boys.” None of us made any decision that day we woke up and started noticing sex.
I’m not a scientist or a doctor. I’m not a priest or any other religious figure. I’m just some random person with an opinion, like any other random person.
I know there are passages in the Bible that speak against homosexuality, and I’m really trying hard not to take this blog down that route. It’s such a can of worms, but we have to remember that for awhile it wasn’t so hot to be black, or Jewish, or whatever. Marrying outside of one’s religion was an atrocity. Marrying outside of one’s race was a crime against nature. Marrying the same gender is the new abomination. I believe it is the last hurdle–at least until we can come up with something else to hate.
So I just finished reading a friend’s blog where she explains why she dislikes being called an Oreo. If you have never heard this term, allow me to enlighten you. We all know the cookie, the Oreo, two bits of hard nasty chocolate cookie covering a super sweet pre-formed circle of creme. They are really nasty and they make your teeth black, but the point is they are white on the inside and black on the outside.
So other black people got this idea to call well-mannered, well-spoken, and well-educated black people oreos, because they, in their opinion, “sound white” and “act white.” I’m not precisely sure what sounding and acting white means, but I’m going to base all of this on their opinions, whether I agree or not.
My whole life I’ve been referred to as an oreo, and I used to take offense to this. After reading my friend’s blog, I think I have changed my mind. You may call me an oreo if you so desire. I am no longer annoyed.
As long as there is a clear separation between me and you, I am all for it. I wouldn’t want to be confused with some gold-teeth wearing, saggy-pants, hood chick baby mama who doesn’t know that Africa is a continent and not a country. I don’t want to be confused with someone who has several children by several different men. I don’t want anybody to think that I have to stand in line at the food stamp office. I want to make sure that you understand that I have a high school diploma, a college diploma and a job.
There is a huge difference between you and I. If this neat label you have created works for you, then by all means apply it. I’ve always been for segregation–segregation of the minds, of course, not the races. Because I want to make sure there is a clear demarcation between what I represent and what you stand for.
This weekend, Trysh and I went to the mall in Security–I mean, Se-CURR-ity. When we went into one of those urban stores, they were playing this song called “Bitch, I’m the Shit.” I’m the first one to assail you with some profanities, but there is always a time to be professional. I think blaring this at the top of the speaker volume in a store where small children might walk in is kind of a disgrace. Because of Trysh, the dudes that worked there immediately flocked to her. They eventually got around to me because I was looking so shocked and disgusted.
Because I’m goth, I always get the, “You’re not from around here,” bit. I said, no, I was from Florida but I live in P.G. County.
Because I said, P. G. CounTTTTy and not P.G. CounNNNy, the two guys busted out laughing. “Oh, you talk so proper. Yeah, I can tell you’re not from around here. You sound so white.” Why is that amusing? Why is it amusing that I should say words as they were meant to be said? Why is this abnormal? Why is it strange that I enjoy reading and the arts?
How do I sound white? Don’t black people realise how stupid this statement makes them sound? Of course they don’t. Half the things that spew from their mouths is moronic but yet they don’t ever change their ways, now do they? So, because I enunciate properly, I sound white, indicating that to speak like a mildly retarded four year old is to sound black. So, basically you’re saying that anybody that speaks stupidly is black; therefore, black = stupid. Because to me, that’s the argument you just made. Don’t sound intelligent because you’ll sound too white. Sound like an asshole and you’ll fit right in with the rest of the homies. Do you even think about the things you say out of your mouth before you say them?
Why can I not simply sound educated? I am, you know. My parents didn’t kick out all of this money for me to come home and be like, “Yo, wassup, moms. I be like whoa.”
What?
But I’m supposed to be comfortable with, “Bitch, look at my wrist.” I’m looking at your wrist. What is it? Oh, a watch. Oh, I’m impressed. You can’t spell watch, but you want me to look at your wrist? And this is acceptable? I’m weird?
I’m confused.
When the young guys in the store asked me if I was interested in anything, I told them flatly, “Hell, no.” Wearing jeans isn’t a symbol of being black, but the store did primarily sell jeans. I don’t wear jeans. But the rest of the stuff… I associate with hood life. Gigantic oversized hoodies. T-shirts that say PIMP. T-shirts that say I LIKE YOUR MAN. I don’t want to be seen in anything like that. I want people to think I’m well-mannered, because I am and I went through a great deal of trouble to become that way.
So if I’m an oreo because I said counTTTy and not CounNNNy, I think I can accept this. There were two girls that worked in the store. A scrawny little thing in skinny jeans and half a shirt. She was attractive so her manner of dress was not offensive. It was the words spewing from her mouth. I could hardly understand what she was saying. She was trying to ask me if I wanted to try anything on, but all her words were a jumble, who could understand?
The other girl was a porky in skinny jeans and a half shirt. Sad to say, she looked a mess. After much discussion, it was discovered that these were not teenagers but young 20-somethings. None of them were in college. One boy didn’t even really work there. He was just loafing. I know that college is not for everybody. But I hope that you have greater aspirations than working in a clothing store. After you turn about 22, that’s no longer acceptable, unless you’re putting yourself through college, and even then, there are greater jobs to be had.
But I’m amusing because I said counTTTy. I make more money than your parents make combined.
So, please, go ahead, and make sure you make a clear separation between you and I. There is a huge difference. I’ve always told my friends that I am always fearful that someone will lump me in the same group as that. But now that we have clear-cut labels, it will be easier to discern the difference between you and I.
I can be your oreo as long as you understand.
Today is November 10, 2009. It is the 314th day of the year with 51 days to go
Today’s History
In 1775, the United States Marines were first organized under the authority of the Continental Congress.
In 1969, Sesame Street made its debut on National Educational Television, which later became PBS.
In 2004, Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat died in Paris. Today’s News
Finally!
A South Korean woman has finally passed her driving test—after her 950th try. Yes, she came up to the DMV 949 times and failed. She paid more than $4200 in application fees in her attempts to pass the written exam. According to South Korean law, applicants must receive a minimum score of 60 on the written exam before they can take the driving portion. After coming up to the DMV nearly every day since April 2005, she has finally passed the damn thing and can move on to the driving portion.
Okay, the woman is now 68 years old, and now she gets to go on to the road test. Is this really a good idea? It took her 3 years to pass the written exam, where all you do is look at pictures of road signs and answer a few questions about drunk driving laws. Do you think this woman is capable of taking the driving part? I would say no. In fact, I think she should be barred entirely from the driving process.
No, That’s Not My Best Pic
A British man decided that he did not like the mug shot photo of him that was being used in a Wanted poster, so he provided the police with a new one. The man is on the run from the police and in Britain, they print Wanted criminal posters in the newspaper. When the man saw his mug shot, he was like, “Oh, God, they used my worst picture!” so he sent a better one. The police have thanked him and his photo made it to the front page.
Seriously? You’re a wanted man and you provide the picture so they can easily identify you. What did he send in…his yearbook photo? Or his Facebook profile pic? I need him to get it together.
Death to the Heathen
John Allen Muhammad, otherwise known as the DC Sniper is scheduled for execution in Virginia later today. Unfortunately, Virginia does not allow death by wild boar, so he will merely get the lethal injection for terrorizing two states and the District of Columbia. The Muhammad case is really quite bizarre. He was a former Army soldier who was described as quite gentle by his peers. After getting out, he seemed to go crazy. He recruited a young Jamaican boy who desperately needed a father figure in his life, and the two began what would have been a cross country killing spree. Their original intent was to shoot at least six people a day for 30 days, then go up to Canada and create some kind of Utopia for homeless people. These homeless people would, in turn, launch additional attacks on others across the United States. Muhammad’s second wife believes that the reason he started killing was because he wanted to kill her after she divorced him and moved to Maryland. Ten people were shot and killed; three others were seriously injured. Everybody be sure to raise up a glass at 9 tonight that the American justice system does kind of work, and it didn’t take 20 years to put this guy down.
I had just moved to MD when all of that started happening. After everyone told me I wouldn’t like living up here, I had to move up here after he had already shot three or four people. Then the white box truck scare had me staring down delivery truck drivers looking for sniper rifles. What a mess. I’m glad he lost his last appeal. He tried to say that he had PTSD and was mentally ill. I hate how these guys have brass enough to go around murdering people in broad daylight but when they are facing their own deaths they cry to mama. Sorry ‘bout your luck.
Today’s Celebrity Gossip
Comedian Katt Williams is under arrest for allegedly breaking into a record producer’s home with a crowbar. He was in Cowetta County, Georgia filming a movie produced by the record producer, and an employee of the producer claimed Williams busted into the home and stole approximately $3500 in jewellery and collectable coins. Williams and his attorney categorically deny any burglary, stating that not only was Williams a guest at the home but he reportedly wears more jewellery than the amount that was stolen, so why would he need some more? I think the mug shot is amusing in and of itself. Let’s take a moment to reflect. HAHAHAHAHAHAH.
Remember Lisa Nowak, the hoe that drove halfway cross the country in a diaper so she could kidnap her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend? Hahaha, I still get a laugh out of that. Well, anyway, she is scheduled to be in court today on a plea deal. She also wants to let everybody know that she wasn’t wearing a diaper. She wants you to understand that, but seriously, she could get life in prison for pepper spraying the girlfriend in the parking lot at the airport. She pleaded not guilty to charges attempted kidnapping, battery and burglary of a vehicle with a weapon. See how chicks go crazy over a man.
Today’s Thought
Every artist was first an amateur. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
