Senseless Scribbling of an Idiot #41: Puff, Puff, Pass

Today is election day and there’s all sorts of critical decisions to be had across the country.  I can’t say that I’ve been paying attention to anything because frankly I just don’t give a damn.  I have been, however, paying attention to the debate over the legalisation of marijuana in California.  I don’t live in California.  I don’t smoke marijuana either.  It’s just that I’m interested in knowing how this is going to play out.

I really think they should legalise marijuana.  Why?

I don’t know, because it just seems like the thing to do.  I am not going to attempt to get into some medical debate about the positive or deleterious effects of marijuana because I am not a doctor and I would only be repeating stuff I’ve seen on TV.

I don’t even know anybody that smokes pot.  I mean, they could be getting high on a nightly basis and I wouldn’t know, but to my knowledge none of my friends are pot heads.  When I was in college there was a lot of weed smoking going on.  I didn’t partake because I was always too broke to pitch in and it just seemed like a gross, filthy thing to get into.  It’s just as bad as smoking and I find smoking to be utterly vile.

For all the naysayers against pot, the arguments they present are stupid.  A lot of people say it’s bad for the health, it’s going to cause social destruction and be a precursor to inflated health costs and all that.  Aren’t tobacco and alcohol just as bad?  How can marijuana really be worse than the THOUSANDS of DUI deaths every year?  How can marijuana be worse than all these people dying of alcohol related illness?  I know lots of drunks.  I don’t know any potheads.  I know lots of people whose families have been destroyed by the alcoholic in the family.

I once dated a guy who was a raging alcoholic.  His father was also a drunk.  The guy would tell me stories about his father, the Happy Drunk, who showed up to his high school graduation with no pants on.  My drunk boyfriend frequently got us kicked out of bars, bowling alleys and movie theatres because of his antics.  This is not the typical behaviour of potheads.  Most of them just want to get high, sit their ass down somewhere and leave them the hell alone.  Then they get the munchies, go to Taco Bell and then fall asleep somewhere.

Drunks get abusive.  Beat up their wives and kids and anybody who’s around.  They say terrible things and embarrass themselves and other people they know.  They get into cars and drive recklessly even though “they drive better when they’re drunk,” then they kill themselves or someone else, destroying everything in their path.  Do you know any potheads like that?

And how is pot smoking worse than cigarette smoking?  Cigarette smokers are ghastly.  They always smell bad.  They have yellow, gross looking teeth with yellow wrinkly fingers.  Their clothes always smell even if they put on perfume or cologne.  Their car stinks.  Their homes stink.  Everything about them is disgusting.  Okay, so this is my persona opinion.  There might be someone out there who actually like cuddling up to an ashtray every night.  I dated a smoker (the same guy who was a drunk).  Even though he was a great kisser, I used to do everything in my power to avoid kissing him if he had just smoked.  I hated spending the night at his house because it always reeked of cigarettes.

But this is all superficial.

Smoking has proven to be detrimental to the health.  It’s so bad that it is illegal to smoke anywhere these days.  No smoking in the office.  No smoking within 50 feet of the office.  No more smoking in restaurants.  No more smoking in public.  There are even some states that are considering making it illegal to smoke in enclosed places where children are present.

People die of smoking related illnesses every year.  Even people who do not smoke die of smoking related illnesses due to secondhand smoke.  Is there any evidence that pot smoking will cause the same effect?  I don’t know.  I’m asking the question and maybe someone out there has the answer for it.

There are practically no positive effects of smoking cigarettes or drinking.  Well, they do say one glass of red wine a day could be good for the heart, but that’s pretty much it.  Nothing good comes from smoking.  Nothing good comes from drinking.

Proponents of the legalisation of weed claim there are some positive effects of marijuana.  They say it helps with severe pain.  It stimulates appetite for those who have lost their appetite due to chemotherapy and other illness.  I do not know if this is all true but 16 states plus DC have legalised marijuana for medical purposes so maybe there is some fact to these statements.

I think law enforcement wastes a lot of time chasing after petty pot smokers.  Unless you’re selling to little kids or other at-risk groups, who cares? Police should spend more time on other more serious crimes:  rape, murder, assault, etc.  I think drug use is a serious business in this country, but we need regulation because obviously telling someone NOT to do something is not working.

I don’t think our society is going to go down the toilet any faster than it already is.  Legalising pot smoking is not going to be the catalyst if and when our country fails.  There are so many other thing that we need to worry about other than a couple of kids with a dime bag.  I’m not trying to make light of the situation but I’m saying we need to focus on real and true issues.  We have home invasions, starving homeless children, child abuse, racism, murder and other crap to deal with.  These things should take precedence and then we’ll work on the minor problems of this type of petty drug use.

If pot smoking is just as bad as alcohol and cigarettes, who should care?  When people engage in risky behaviours it is because they want to.  All smokers know the risks of smoking yet they do it anyway.  They like to.  They want to.  I don’t care what they do with themselves.  People who begin drinking know the risks.  Drinking eventually gets out of control, but yet it is still legal.  There are stiff penalties against drinking and driving yet it still happens.  So what is the difference?  Drunks go to jail.  Drunks kill people.  They still drink.  It’s still legal.  So who cares?

If you’re one of those people who are concerned about the potential costs to the health care system and potential loss of productivity due to pot smoking, are not cigarettes and alcohol just as draining?  Lung cancer, cirrhosis of the liver, rehab, etc.  All of this is going on right now.  If you’re so concerned, then maybe you should petition for these things to become illegal.  Pot smoking might add to our financial problems but if you really wanted to get back into the black, stop paying for drunk people’s health care.  Stop paying for smokers’ health problems.  You’ll see how flush with money you are.

As for productivity, well, remember drunk boyfriend?  He frequently went to work drunk and was frequently sent home.  They all knew he had a problem but what can you really do but fire him?  Then he just becomes another drunk bum someone else has to deal with.  I know plenty of people who come to work wasted.  Never met anybody who came to work high… well, maybe, but I’m not sure.

I just think the arguments against legal pot smoking are lame.  Everything everybody says against pot can be said against alcohol and tobacco.  You can’t really have it both ways.  Somewhere, somehow, someone needs to make a decision that actually makes sense.

Daily News June 25

Today is Friday, June 25, 2010.  It is the 176^th day of the year with 189 days to go.

Today’s History

In 1788, Virginia ratified the U. S. Constitution
In 1950, the war between the Koreas began.
In 2009, Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, died in Los Angeles

Today’s News

Parents of the Year
A California couple will face charges of child endangerment after they attempted to sell their baby for $25 at Wal-Mart.  The couple allegedly approached two women at the Wal-Mart and asked if they would like to purchase the child.  The women told police they thought the mother was joking but realized she was serious when she became insistent.  The women reported the incident to the police.  The couple ran off but police were able to track them down at their home later that evening.  The couple was high of meth, and the house was disgusting, according to reports.  The mother admitted that she breast fed the baby while under the influence of drugs.

Attempted to Sell Her Baby at Wal-Mart

That’s all they asked for $25?  They must have been truly messed up.  You know the going rate for a baby is at least a G and a box of animal crackers.  Seriously, all jokes aside, I will once again point out that anybody is allowed to have a baby.  The only time you get your kids taken away is AFTER you’ve already abused them.  And then just because you get that kid taken away don’t mean that you can’t have another one, and they won’t take the new one away until you mess that one up too.  What kind of world do we live in?

Getting Away From It All
A Florida man has been rescued by the Coast Guard after he floated almost a mile away from the coastline on a pool float.  The man was very drunk and unconscious when rescue workers found him.  Apparently, he’d been lounging on the beach on a pool float when the tide picked him up and carried him out to sea.  Coast Guard officials say that the man is lucky because if the tides and current had been slightly different, no one would have ever seen him again.

How do we know the man wasn’t trying to emigrate out the country?  Every year, thousands of people risk their lives floating here from everywhere.  How do we know he wasn’t trying to float out of here?

Must Be Crazy
A woman in Utah is undergoing a psychiatric evaluation after she stole two cars and led police on a wild goose chase while completely naked.  The woman was already naked when she was caught driving her own car erratically.  When police stopped her, she jumped out of her car and into someone else’s car and drove off.  The woman wrecked the car, jumped out and ran through sagebrush, a very prickly, scratchy bush.  Police called for backup and when they arrived, the woman charged at them and jumped into a police cruiser.  She rammed the police car into a gate and kept driving, until she was in yet another accident.  She was supposed to make a left turn and instead, went sailing off an exit ramp.  The car landed so hard that the body’s frame was bent.  The police ended up having to Taser the woman while she attempted to scale a chain-link fence.  Police say she was not under the influence of drugs or alcohol and did not appear to be involved with any crime at the time.

I don’t have to give this woman a psych eval to tell you she’s crazy.  First of all, she was butt ass nekkid in her car, then she stole someone else’s car, ran through some bushes and jacked a police car and then tried to climb over a chain link fence.  Just the fact that she managed to get into TWO accidents in one day and was not even slightly injured tells you that she is either an alien from another planet or she’s crazy.  Crazy people somehow never manage to get injured doing things that other people will.

Not the Kids This Time
Two adult women have been arrested following a brawl that broke out at a kindergarten graduation in California.  The fight involved 20 other adults.  The school is now on lockdown after several mothers got into an argument near the graduation ceremony.  When men jumped into the fight, it soon turned into a brawl.  At this time, authorities do not know what started the fight, but more arrests are coming.  No injuries were reported.

Apparently, they were fighting over whose kid is the coolest.  I wonder what the kids thought of this whole incident.  You’re five years old at your kindergarten graduation and your mommy gets arrested.  Great way to start off your education, kid.  I wonder how she’ll act at your high school graduation. Probably set the place on fire.

One For the Road
A New Zealand man decided he might as well have another beer while he waited for authorities to come rescue him after he wrecked his car in a drunk driving accident.  The man was already over the limit when he overturned his car and crashed through a wooden barrier.  When he realized that the doors had bent shut and he could not open them, he called emergency services on his cell phone and opened another can of beer.  Rescue workers found him relaxing inside the car with his beer.  He told authorities that he went on a drinking binge because he’d just been fired from his job and then he found out that his father was diagnoses with prostate cancer.  The man has pled guilty to careless driving and drunk driving charges.

I guess it’s in for a penny, in for a pound, as they say.  He was like, “F— it.  I’m already drunk, what’s one more beer gonna do?”

Today’s Thought

Fame will go by and, so long, I’ve had you, Fame.  If it goes by, I’ve always known it was fickle.  So at least it’s something I experience, but that’s not where I live. –Marilyn Monroe

Daily News April 14

Today is Wednesday, April 14, 2010.  It is the 104^th day of the year with 261 to go.

Today’s History

In 1828, the first edition of Noah Webster’s American Dictionary of the English Language was published.
In 1865, President Abraham Lincoln was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth at Ford’s Theatre.
In 1912, the RMS Titanic collided with an iceberg and began sinking.

Today’s News

Starting Young
Police in Pennsylvania are investigating a third grade student who may have given his classmates heroin.  The eight year old boy allegedly handed out small bags of heroin labeled “trust me.”  The street value of the heroin is approximately $1000.  Parents were notified that some students came into contact with the substance.

I know they’ve got an investigation going on but can they please give me some more information?  Where did the boy get the stuff?  Is the kid normally a trouble maker?  Did any of the kids actually snort it?  (Do you snort heroin?  Or inject it?)  How did they find out it was that kid giving the stuff out?  What did his parents say?  What did the kid say?  This could be an interesting story if they actually gave out a little more information.  But let this be a lesson to all parents:  hide your stash.

Starting Young, Part 2
A British retailer has decided against selling a two piece bikini with a padded bra.  What’s so wrong with that you ask?  The two piece bikini with padded bra was marketed at seven year old girls.  Children advocates became enraged when the skimpy bikini hit the racks in stores across London.  Some say that particular style of bathing suit sexualizes children and encourages them to grow up quickly.  The bikini was denounced as the “paedo-bikini,” as in paedophilia.  The retailer said that the padding was not to give little girls a booby boost but to protect their modesty and to give them privacy.

What a crock.  Privacy?  Seriously, that’s what they said?  If the bathing suits were for 15 year olds, I’d still be annoyed, but aimed at seven year old girl? That’s just beyond belief and quite disgusting.  They should take a look at whatever perve designed that thing in the first place.  But then again, there are some parents that don’t see anything wrong with this at all.

You Again!
A Maryland man must feel like he has déjà vu after he got into a drunk driving accident with a judge who could have sent him to jail years ago.  The man had gone to court in 1998 for drunk driving when he failed a field sobriety test.  The judge who oversaw his case at the time decided not to send him to jail even though the man already had two drunk driving arrests in three months.  Now in 2010, the man is drinking and driving again, and this time he hit somebody:  that same judge!  The judge and his wife were both injured in the crash.

Two drunk driving charges, and he’s up on a third and you decide not to send him to jail, and now look, a fourth drunk driving charge.  I bet the judge wishes he would have sent the guy to jail in the first place.

And The Winner Is…
…the woman who set her own hair on fire!  A woman from Indiana has accepted her town’s top prize:  The Village Idiot Award.  She was lauded with this honour after she set her own hair on fire while trying to light a cigarette.  The woman admitted to having sprayed half a bottle of hairspray in her hair, which caused it to be more flammable than usual.  She said she was driving to work when she tried to light a cigarette.  There was so much hairspray in her hair that it immediately ignited.  She was able to put the fire out with her hands, which were also coated in hair spray.  The Village Idiot Award comes with a $100 bar tab at a local inn.

Because a person like that needs more alcohol in her life.

He Wasn’t Dead Yet
A German woman has been arrested on suspicion of trying to smuggle a corpse aboard an aircraft, however, she claims that he was still alive when they reached the airport.  “He will still warm at home,” she said after authorities spotted her pushing the husband through the airport in a wheelchair.  The corpse was wearing sunglasses.  Airline officials became suspicious and denied the couple boarding.  The woman stated that she wanted to have him cremated and fly home to Berlin with his ashes.  They were in the UK, spending time with their daughter as they do every year before going back to Germany.

Let’s just say for a minute, that he was dead this entire time, how did she plan on getting him into his seat on the plane?  She was just going to pick him up and shove him into those tiny little seats?  What if he had an aisle seat and the passenger on the window wanted to get up?  Okay, let’s say he was alive when she left home and he died at the airport, can you please explain why she just continued on like nothing happened?  Oh, Herbert’s dead, oh well.  Let’s just keep going.  We don’t want to miss our flight.

Two For One
Nevada police were somehow able to make two DUI arrests from one SUV, after another motorist reported an unsafe driving act.  A driver of another vehicle called 911 after seeing an SUV swerve all over the road.  The driver followed the SUV to a fast food restaurant and witnessed the passenger get out of the passenger seat and stagger over to the driver’s side.  The passenger then pulled the driver get out the car and carried him over to the passenger side.  The passenger then staggered back to the driver side and took the wheel himself.  When police arrived on the scene, both the passenger and driver were found to have three times the legal limit of alcohol.

Two drunks don’t equal a sober driver, or whatever else twisted logic they were trying to come up with.

Today’s Thought

As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.  — Abraham Lincoln

Daily News March 11

Today is Thursday, March 11, 2010.  It is the 70^th day of the year with 295 days to go.

Today’s History

In 1861, the Constitution of the Confederate States of America was adopted during a convention in Montgomery, Alabama.
In 2004, 10 bombs exploded on a commuter rail in a Al-Qaeda terrorist attack in Madrid, Spain.

Today’s News

Second Life, Real Life
A South Korean couple has been arrested after they allegedly let their real toddler starve to death while they raised a fake child online.  According to reports, the couple would feed their real kid only once a day while they sat for hours in an internet café where they played a fantasy role playing game.  The game involves raising a child with mysterious powers whose skills increase as the game continues.  The father stated that he wished his real child had not gotten sick, but she “will live well in heaven forever.”  The couple had lost their job and the real child was born prematurely.  They used the online game to escape reality. 

I guess they are going to be even more stressed out when they go to jail.  Who’s going to raise the fake internet child?  These people can let a real baby starve while they sit around in an internet café all day long playing with a fake baby, but when people start suggesting that people should have a license to procreate, everyone gets all upset. 

Milk’s Away!
A Kentucky woman who was already in jail for public intoxication is now being charged with third degree assault on a police officer after she squirted a prison guard with breast milk.  The woman had just undergone a search before she entered the prison and was changing into a prison uniform.  The woman and guard got into an altercation so the woman squirted her in the face with breast milk.

I’m a little bit confused by this.  The woman had just been searched and now she is changing into a prison uniform.  Why is the guard standing so close to her?  Unless this woman has some kind of super extra high speed mammary glands and she can squirt milk 10 feet across a room, I don’t understand how this could have happened.  Since boobs are down here and the guard’s face is up there, it just seems a little farfetched to me.  I wish these news stories would explain things a little more.  I want to see the police report.

If It Didn’t Work Before…
…it probably won’t work this time.  An Alaskan woman is under arrest for once again trying to steal a TV and escaping in a cab.  The woman was arrested last year after she walked out of Sam’s Club without paying for several TVs worth $6,000.  She hailed a cab outside the store and tried to get away, but was stopped and arrested.  The woman finally posted bail for that incident last Friday, and today she has been arrested again for doing the same thing.  She went into a Fred Meyer store, snatched a TV and then went outside to get a cab, but was once again caught. 

So you realize that your method is not working, right?  Maybe you should try something else.  But seriously, how did she even make it out of Sam’s Club in the first place?  You know any time you try to leave any Wal-Mart/Sam’s Club, some grandpa is waiting at the door trying to check your receipt.  Sometimes they let you slide, but if someone strolls up with eight TVs in their cart, you can best believe that grandpa is waiting for you with his little pink highlighter. 

The Saviour
A 7 year old California boy is responsible for saving his family’s life.  When three gunmen broke into his family’s home, the little boy and his six year old sister hid in a locked bathroom with a cell phone.  The intruders held the parents at gun point and threatened to steal whatever they wanted from the home.  The boy called 911 and told the operator, “There’s some guy who’s going to kill my mom and dad.  Bring cops.  A lot of them!  And soldiers, too.”  The gunmen broke into the bathroom and took the phone away from the child.  Then he told them that he had called 911.  Upon hearing that, the suspects fled the home without harming anybody or taking anything.  The men are still on the loose.

Good job, kid!  Even though he was scared, he knew exactly what to do:  hide somewhere and call 911.  Parents of small children should start teaching them very early how to call 911 in case something happens.  Some people don’t want to expose their children to the negative violence of life and you would hope that your home is never invaded, but it could also be for medical reasons.  There are plenty of stores of small kids calling 911 after a family member has had a heart attack or has become somehow incapacitated. 

Doesn’t Pay Like It Used To
The economy is so bad that even the criminals are taking a pay cut.  California police are searching for a woman who robbed 11 customers at a supermarket Wednesday night.  The woman was armed with a semi-automatic pistol and confronted several customers inside the store, demanding money from them.  She got what she could from them and then robbed another customer who was on his way into the store.  The woman fled with a grand total of $6.  No one was hurt in the incident.

Six whole dollars?  And what is so pathetic is that if she had been caught, she would have done time for armed robbery for six measly dollars.  You can barely buy a value meal at McDonald’s with $6.  That’s not enough money to put gas in the getaway car.  Sad.

In the House of the Lord
Iowa police have arrested a man on second degree burglary charges after he broke into a church and used the equipment to watch porn.  A member of the church caught the man trying to haul away a garbage can full of food, kitchen utensils, clothes, electronics and a large flat screen television.  The man stated that he watched porn, scavenged the place, then slept in the basement.  He was trying to sneak away the following morning when he was caught. 

What kind of loser breaks into a church to watch porn?  Can’t you do that at home?  It’s a little bit bizarre because the article doesn’t say where he got the porn from.  Was the porn already in the church?  Did he bring the porn with him?  If he brought it with him, I need to understand why he felt that a church would be the best place for his activities.  And then on top of that, he spent the night and robbed the place.  I mean, really.  The church is a sanctuary, but let’s not get overboard.

Take the Keys, Kid, Mommy’s Had Too Much
Remember the first time you got to get behind the wheel of a car?  Some of us didn’t have to wait until 16.  Maybe your dad let you drive around the Wal-Mart parking lot when you were 15, maybe even 14.  I’m pretty sure that sneaky little driving lesson didn’t involve your mother or father being so completely trashed that you were the trusted individual to drive.  A Nebraska woman is under arrest for three counts of child neglect after she allowed her 14 year old son to drive the family home when she became too intoxicated to drive.  Deputies spotted the family van swerving all over the street.  When they stopped the vehicle, they discovered a 14 year old kid in the driver seat.  His mother was in the passenger seat, completed toasted, while two other kids age 14 and 17 were in the back.  The children have been removed from the home.

Seriously?  Okay, what’s wrong with this article?  Why isn’t the 17 year old driving?  I hate these articles don’t tell the whole story.  Just because you’re 17 doesn’t mean you have a license but I think you might be a better candidate for designated driver than a 14 year old, unless the 17 year old was blind or had Down’s Syndrome.  Clearly the mother was that sauced she couldn’t even make THAT decision.  Nice.  Mother of the year, right there, folks.  

Today’s Thought

Real success is finding your lifework in the work that you love.  –Dave McCullough

Daily News February 24

Today is Wednesday, February 24, 2010.  It is the 55^th day of the year with 310 to go.

Today’s History

In 1582, Pope Gregory XIII outlined calendar reforms; the Gregorian calendar is the calendar in general use today.
In 1868, President Andrew Johnson was impeached.

Today’s News

Body Armour
A Florida woman said that it was her love handles that saved her life when she got shot visiting a bar in Atlantic City.  The woman said she walked into the bar and heard two pops.  She felt pain in her side and saw blood coming out.  Police say the woman was an innocent bystander in a dispute between two men.  The shooter has not been found at this time.  The woman stated that she had been “hollering” that she wanted to lose weight.  “They said my love handles saved my life.  I want to be big as I can if it’s going to stop a bullet.”

So you should remain unhealthy and overweight on the off-chance that you might get shot again?  Perhaps the love handles did save her life, but if she had been slimmer, the bullet might have missed her altogether.

Taking It Out on the Neighbours
A New York man caused approximately $40,000 in damage to 30 cars parked outside a business because he was upset over an affair his wife was supposedly having.  The man confronted his wife about the affair and discovered that she had been sleeping with someone who worked at that business.  In retaliation, the man decided to take a backhoe and crush and flip the cars that were parked outside.  He has been arrested and charged with criminal mischief.

Well, at least he didn’t go and crush the man he thinks is having an affair with his wife.  But really, I have to give him an A for effort.  We’ve all destroyed some property in a fit of anger, but did you climb into a backhoe and go on a rampage in a parking lot?  That’s just funny.

The Drunk Equestrian
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with choosing an alternate method of transportation other than one’s vehicle.  A Kentucky man decided to do that when he rode his horse to church.  After leaving the horse outside, the man entered the church with a holstered weapon and a rifle.  The man did not attempt to fire the weapons, but he was calmly removed from the church while the authorities were called.  The man was arrested.

I guess he thought it was 1810 instead of 2010, where people normally ride around armed on horseback…to church.

The Belt Buckle Made Me Do It
An upstate New York teen is under arrest on felony criminal mischief charges after he showed up uninvited to a party.  The owners of the home were away on vacation when the kids decided to have a party.  Like most unauthorized parties, random people started showing up, along with this teenager who was clearly inebriated from another event.  The kid started break dancing, and as a result of his gyrations his unnecessarily large diamond belt buckle scratched up the wood floors causing $3000 worth of damage.  In addition to criminal mischief, he is also being charged with trespassing.

There are so many things to be arrested for, and I figure if you’re going to get arrested for something, get arrested for something… don’t get arrested because your fashion disaster of a belt buckle scratched up someone’s floor.  How lame is that?  I want to know how big this thing is to have caused so much damage and what made him think a diamond belt buckle the size of the Hubble Space Station was somehow in style.

Today’s Thought

It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injry to others.  It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.  ~Alfred Adler

Daily News February 4

Today is Thursday, February 4, 2010. It is the 35^th day of the year with 330 to go.

Today’s History

In 1789, electors chose George Washington to be the first president of the United States.
In 1861, delegates from six southern states formed the Confederate States of America.
In 1974, newspaper heiress Patricia Hearst was kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army.

Today’s News

Dear Parents
“The math we do is really easy.  If your child is either too lazy or too stupid to finish it in class, I’m sending it home so that you can work with them and judge for yourself whether it is laziness or idiocy that inhibits your child’s progress.”  What if you got a letter like that from your child’s teacher?  I’m sure you’d be annoyed, and some parents were, which is why an Arizona principal was suspended after he wrote this letter and accidentally sent it to the parents of his students.  The principal has stated that he doesn’t hate children, but wrote the letter in response to someone else’s stupid remarks.  He also did not intend to mail the letter home to parents.  He has apologized to each parent individually and has also been removed from the elementary school as principal.  He will be demoted and may be terminated.

I know how parents are about their kids.  You can’t tell them nothing.  Their child is the smartest, most beautiful, most talented, most everything kid in the whole wide world, so I know every parent was about to march up to that school and set that principal on fire.  I would have done the same thing too because my kid (the one I don’t have) is the smartest, most beautiful, most talented, most everything kid in the world, but seriously, I think it’s hilarious and probably very true in some cases.  Not all kids are lazy or stupid, but I would agree that a good percentage of them really are.  Teachers have to be so politically correct when it comes to telling parents how little Junior is doing at school.  No teacher can come out and say, “Your kid is a loser,” even when they really are.  Too bad the guy might lose his job. 

South African School Bus
Parents, I’m sure it’s perfectly natural to send your kids to school on a school bus. It’s highly likely that said school bus would seat at least 49 children.  But what if 49 children were crammed into a 16 passenger van?  What if the driver of the 16 passenger van was drunk, more than five times the legal limit?  A South African minibus driver is under arrest after he was stopped at a routine traffick checkpoint.  The man’s blood alcohol content was more than five times the legal limit as he transported 49 children crammed into the back of a 16 passenger van to school.  The children were ages 3 to 13, sitting on top of each other in the death trap vehicle.  Police say that it is common for poorer people to use rogue minibus drivers to get from one town to the next.  Many of the vehicles they operate are unsafe and fatal accidents are common.

Whoa.  But you know what, you can’t even fault the guy—you can, but seriously, the parents were the ones who shoved little Timmy into the back of a minivan with 48 other children.  If the man was that drunk, don’t you think somebody would have noticed it?  Especially since some of the children were young as three years old.  Most parents walk those young children to the bus.  They didn’t realize that Drunky McDrunkerson was behind the wheel?  I know when you are poor you got to do what you go to do, but there’s got to be a better way.  And secondly, I would like to see pictures of how he got 49 kids into a minivan.  That’s like a circus act. 

Not Another School Shooting
Actually, it isn’t, but a fourth grade boy from New York faces suspension after he was found with a toy gun at school.  The boy had a two inch Lego action figure of a policeman and a machine gun.  The principal of the school saw the miniature gun at lunchtime and confiscated it.  She then contacted his parents and notified him that he would probably be suspended for violating the school’s strict no weapons policy.  The parents have appealed to the school’s security administrator and they agreed that the boy should not have brought the “weapon” into school.  The parents stated that another child had a Lego action figure carrying an axe, but that child was not suspended.

 

Everybody knows what Legos are.  Everybody knows how small the little action figures are.  They are less than two inches tall and the toy gun is even smaller.  Look at that little thing!  I can understand being strict about no weapons, but I think it is beyond ridiculous that the kid is suspended.  A plastic Lego toy less than an inch long is not a threat to anybody. This is a classic example of people blindly following rules for the sake of following rules.  And what about the kid with the miniature Lego axe?  He should be suspended too.  We don’t him giving anybody any paper cuts.

Fight Club
A fourth-grade teacher has been reassigned after it was alleged that he turned his classroom into a fighting ring.  Two students, aged 9 and 10, were told to settle their dispute by fighting each other in the classroom.  After one cut his lip and the other bruised his head, the teacher finally sent them to the school nurse.  He told the boys to lie if they were questioned by the nurse.  “Just tell her that you bumped into each other,” the boys were told.  Both the teacher and his aide are being charged.

As if you didn’t have to worry about the teacher thinking your kid is a moron or the drunk bus driver or the gun-wielding Columbine kid, you now have to worry about the teacher forcing your kid to become a UFC champion.  This is starting to read like a top 10 list on why you should home-school your kids.

What Goes Around May Not Come Around
A Slovenian man probably wishes he would have just let sleeping dogs lie when he decided to save three bullmastiff dogs from being put down.  The dogs were alleged to have attacked other humans, but the man won a legal battle at the last moment right before their euthanisation.  The dogs had seriously injured a passer-by and then later attacked a dog handler.  After he brought the dogs home, they attacked and killed him before police could arrive.

I know that people are attached to their pets, but you have to let them go if they are a menace.  He saved the dogs only for them to attack him and kill him.  Thanks for nothing.

Pot Made Me Do It
A San Francisco man claimed it was the pot filled cookies he’d been eating that made him act like a lunatic aboard a flight to Los Angeles.  The plane was diverted to Pittsburgh shortly after leaving Philadelphia because the man was unruly on the aircraft.  The man went into the bathroom and started screaming, then tried to fight the crew who just wanted him to sit down.  The man stated that he was high on a double dose of medical marijuana cookies at the time of the attack.

Not that I know that much about marijuana, but doesn’t it make you all calm and chill?  Isn’t that way why people use it for medication in the first place, because you’re basically kind of numb and you’re just on another planet for a little while?  I don’t know if I believe his story, unless his pot was laced with something else.  It was a nice try though, pretending to be mentally deranged to avoid terrorism charges.

Double Coupon Day
Don’t you get annoyed when people don’t pay you back in kind?  Meaning, they ask to borrow $10 and you give them a ten and they pay you back in pennies.  Then they blithely say, “It’s money.”  Sure, technically it is, but it’s also annoying.  What if someone paid you back in COUPONS?  A California judge is being admonished by a judicial committee because he ordered clients to pay their attorney in coupons for women’s clothing.  The clients had sued a fashion company for invasion of privacy.  As a settlement of the lawsuit the fashion company offered the clients coupons for their clothing line.  The judge said, “Well, since they gave you coupons, you should pay your attorney in coupons too.”  The attorney was owed $125,000.  The judge has since reversed the order and has retired.

Hahaha.  I wish someone would come up to me with some coupons.

Today’s Thought

Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries. –James Michener

The Afronista Rants #6: I Don’t Always Have To Bash

Since I am always saying cruel and unusual things to bring people down, I thought I might end the year on a more positive note, by praising someone for doing something good.  It is rare that I compliment people or give them their propers for a job well-done, particuarly black people, especially those of the hip hop variety.  Occasionally, however, my arrogant self-righteousness swells to such great heights that I am ruptured by the sharpness of my own tongue, thus bringing me back to earth for a few seconds, before I start swelling up again.

At any rate, I have to give credit where credit is due to Mr. Sean “Diddy,” “Puffy, “Puff,” “Puff Daddy,” “P. Diddy,” “Whatever You Are Calling Yourself” Coombs.  He has teamed up with Ciroc Vodka company to offer drunks and alcoholics a ride home this New Year’s Eve.  Although I do not drink and don’t like Puffy, Diddy, Puff, whateves, I have to say this is a really good thing going on here.

He has offered to be your designated driver this New Year by offering debit cards and vouchers for free cab rides home in New York City and Las Vegas.  You can get a $15 debit card good for use on participating taxis and limousines in both cities. In New York you can also get a free one-way subway voucher.  Street teams will be handing out these cards in New York between 8PM and 11PM New Year’s Eve and in Las Vegas you can get them at various distribution points.

I know it’s probably a publicity stunt, some marketing effort, but I’m willing to overlook that because he is using his celebrity for something that is actually real and important.  Not saying the whales off the coast of … wherever… aren’t important or the starving children in Ethernopia, but I’m tired of celebrities going overseas to solve world hunger when we have so many problems right here in America.  Why battle the courts in Malawi for one moon-eyed infant whose father doesn’t even want to give her up when you could help these American children right here who are bombarded with “you suck” everyday because they see people who have so much more then they do.  Everybody in Malawi is poor; the poor orphan in America feels it even worse when he goes to school with kids who are pushed around in Mercedes baby carriages.

Also, very few black celebrities, besides Oprah, ever do anything for anybody.  I’m sure there are some, but what black celebrity do you know that’s using his fame and fortune for a cause?  I’m really thinking, but I can’t come up with one.  If you know, be sure to inform me.  At any rate, Puff Puff is amazingly popular.  He is a well-known face all across the world.  He is also setting a better example to young black men around here.  I like that he has cleaned himself up from just some rapper to an entrepreneur.  Now he is an entrepereneur who is actually doing something worthwhile with all that money, power and respect he’s garnered over the years.  I have never really liked Mr. Puff, but I think the world wouldn’t be as horrible a place if it were a little more P. Diddy and a lot less Lil Wayne. 

Drunk driving is a big problem in the United States.  Last year, 37% of all driving accidents had to do with alcohol.  On average, one person dies every 45 minutes because of an alcohol-related accident.  Almost 2 million people are arrested every year for drunk driving, and those who are being arrested for the first time have already driven drunk at least 87 times before that, bringing the national average of drunk driving occurences (without accidents, arrests, etc) to 159 million per year.  So basically every time you get out on the road, somebody around you is drunk.

I hate drunk driving; I hate people who drive drunk, tipsy, slightly woozie, whatever.  I hate people who say, “I drive better when I’m drunk,” or “I never have a problem driving drunk.”  People are too lazy, too cheap, too whatever to find another way home after a night of drinking.  What makes me so mad is that people spend hours trying to figure out what to wear for a night of partying, but don’t even give a thought to, “How will I get home?”  Most people don’t even think drinking and driving is all that serious, until it happens to them or someone they know.

I don’t know anybody that’s been killed by a drunk driver, thankfully.  I’ve never been in an alcohol related crash, and I hope I’m not ever.

Since I will be partying in Vegas this year, I appreciate Mr. Diddy for giving out these free debit cards to keep alcohol-soused losers from plowing into me while I dance my life away on Las Vegas Boulevard.  The sad part is that you can lead a horse to water but you can’t get him to drink (no pun intended).  Most people think, “How will I get my car in the morning?” instead of “What will do I when I kill someone?”

Mr. Puffy, you did good on this one.  Even if you just wanted to throw your name out there, you had the good business acumen to see that this is something that actually makes sense and it might save someone’s life.  Thank you for being a smart black man and at least knowing how to use your celebrity for something that isn’t lame.  Please continue to do more things like this, and talk to your fellow black celebrities and let them know they should do it too.

And not in Cambodia, but here.

In America.

Daily News November 5

Today is November 5.  It is the 309^th day of the year with 56 days to go.

Today’s History

In 1605, Guy Fawkes failed to blow up the English Parliament in the Gunpowder Plot.  (Remember, remember, the fifth of November!)
In 1912, Woodrow Wilson defeated Teddy Roosevelt and William Howard Taft in the presidential election.
In 1940, Franklin D. Roosevelt won an unprecedented third term in office.

Today’s News

Here All Along
A mother, the baby-sitter and the baby-sitter’s husband are all under arrest after a Florida baby that had been missing for five days was found under the bed in the family home.  The baby was found alive.  The parents of the child called police to report the child missing.  They told the police they hadn’t seen her since the middle of the night after one of her feedings.  Police did not find any signs of a break-in and searched the surrounding area.  After five days, the police asked the couple if they could search the home.  They looked under the bed and found a box with the child inside, with clothes and toys and other things surrounding the baby in order to hide her.  After further investigation, the police decided to arrest the child’s mother, the baby-sitter and the baby-sitter’s husband.  The father, who is related to the baby-sitter, has not been arrested but he is still under investigation.  The child has been removed from the parents’ custody.

I’m very confused by this story.  First of all, when a child goes missing, why don’t they search the home first?  Why did they wait until five days later?  Secondly, they don’t say what condition the child was in.  The child is alive, yes, but were they feeding her and just shoving her back under the bed?  What did they do when she started crying?  Ignore her?  Was she in a messy dirty diaper?  She’s been crapping for five days… so nobody smelled an awful smell?  The baby was found in her own home, so how is the baby-sitter and her husband involved in this?  These news stories don’t give enough information.  I want to know what is going on.  I’m glad they took the baby away because obviously these people have a lot going on right now.

Oh, the Irony
An Ohio man was arrested for drunk driving after he was found driving down the wrong side of the street without any headlights on.  When the police stopped the 20 year old, they found an open beer in the front seat and more beer in the trunk.  After taking a Breathalyzer test, his blood alcohol content level was discovered to be at .158, almost twice the limit of .08.  The irony of this whole situation was that it was Hallowe’en night.  The man was dressed as a Breathalyzer. 

Har har har.  That’s stupid.  The Breathalyzer costume is ridiculous.  The little blow piece is over the …you know… and there’s a little sign that says “Blow here.”  How lame, and then you have the nerve to be underage, drunk driving down a one way street with a fake ID and an open beer in the car.  You’re just jacked up all around.  Have a nice life, loser.

You Know That’s a Horse, of Course
A South Carolina man is getting three years in prison after pleading guilty to having sex with a horse.  He will also have to have psychiatric help and is ordered to stay away from the stables where he’d been assaulting the horse repeatedly.  The owner of the stables thought something strange was going on but she could not imagine for her life that someone was actually sexually assaulting her horse.  The horse was behaving strangely and was getting weird infections.  She also noticed that things in the stable were being moved around.  The woman decided to set up a surveillance camera.  She caught the man the first time asleep in the barn but she still had no idea what he was up to.  The second time, she actually walked in on him having sex with the horse.  She held a shot gun on him and called the police. 

Uhm, wow.  Just… wow.  I need to understand what is going on here.  Actually, no I don’t.  I don’t even want to know.  This is as bad as the Jacksonville man who was arrested for sexually assaulting a dog.  He lured the dog into the park with some dog food.  When he was arrested he told the police, “I can’t get no girl.”  Uhm, this might be why.

The Sad Life
A Pennsylvania woman and her grown daughter have been arrested for theft after they were caught stealing from a 9-year old child on her birthday.  The little girl was in a Wal-Mart trying to buy something with a gift card she had received for her birthday.  While the Wal-Mart employee helped her get something off the shelf, the little girl put the gift card down and the two women came up and snatched the card and ran away.  They were stopped later by security.  As punishment for their heinous crimes, the judge made them stand outside the courthouse for nearly five hours with a sign that says, “I stole from a 9 year old on her birthday!”  The girl’s mother said they will drive by the courthouse as a lesson that you should always obey the law or be humiliated beyond belief.

How are you a grown ass woman and you steal from a child?  That is sad.  In fact, that’s sadder than sad.  Look at this woman.  She is 56 years old, hanging outside the courthouse with a sign that says she is a thief.  I would be humiliated.  But then again, some people just don’t have no shame.  That’s okay, we’ll have a good laugh at your expense.  Everybody, point at the lady and laugh.  This is an atrocity.

If You’re Here…
…then who the hell is that?  A Brazilian man shocked his family by showing up to his own funeral.  The family had been told that their son had died in a car accident.  Several uncles, some friends and his mother went to identify the body.  The mother did not believe it was her son and everybody thought it was because she was saddened with grief.  The body had been badly damaged, making identification difficult.  Because the body was wearing clothes similar to their relative, everybody assumed it was him  Brazilian custom requires that the funeral take place the very next day, so the following morning, everybody got up and went to the funeral.  The real man was in the next town over, sleeping off a drinking binge, when he heard about his supposed funeral.  As they were burying the body, the man showed up.  Needless to say, everybody was quite relieved.  Police were able to correctly identify who the dead person was and he has been sent to his own family for burial.

The crazy thing is that all of this happened on the Latin tradition of Day of the Dead.  I know some people don’t believe in all that, but if I were at a funeral and I see a “dead” person walking in, I’m screaming the church down and running away.  There’s too much unsolved mystery for me to just accept the fact that you weren’t really dead.  Yeah, I know about technology and science and all that, but we’re talking initial reaction.  I’d probably have to be hospitalized for at least a week while I got my mind right.

Excess Luggage
A Phoenix couple is under arrest after police discovered more than 1000 pieces of luggage stacked up in their home.  Three weeks prior to this, police observed the man drive up to the airport, go down to baggage claim, pick up a bag and then get back in his car with it.  He was charged and arrested.  After that, they began an investigation on him and when they searched his home they found all the luggage stacked up in the house.  The ID tags had been removed so authorities have no way of identifying whose luggage is whose.  The crazy thing is that none of the luggage had been plundered.  The couple didn’t really steal anything out of the bags.  They just had the bags scattered all over the house.  They have been doing this for more than two years.

Uhm, can you get a better hobby, please?  This wouldn’t be so strange if they were actually stealing stuff out the luggage, looking for valuables.  In this case, they weren’t doing anything but hanging on to the luggage.  What kind of weird obsession do they have with suitcases?  Who even knows, and that’s why they are going to jail.  Have a nice life.

Thought of the Day

Good taste is better than bad taste, but bad taste is better than no taste at all. ~Arnold Bennett

Daily News October 26

Today is October 26.  It is the 299th day of the year with 66 to go.

Today’s History

In 1825, the Erie Canal opened in New York connecting Lake Erie and the Hudson River.
In 1881, the infamous gunfight at the OK Corrall took place.
In 2001, President Bush signed into act the Patriot Act.

Today’s News

Wakey, Wakey!
A Nevada couple was rudely awakened at 4am when a drunk driver decided to purposely drive a vehicle through their home and into their bedroom.  The drunk driver stole the car with the hopes of catching his girlfriend and her lover.  He then planned to ram the car into the girlfriend’s house, however, he got the wrong address and drove through someone else’s house instead.  He barrelled the car into the couple’s bedroom, trapping them underneath the car.  They were trapped for almost 45 minutes while hot car liquids spilled onto them.  The couple thought they were going to die as rescue workers tried to lift the car from the bed.  They had to be extra careful because one minor slip and the car would crush them.  Luckily, they were able to remove the car and the couple is perfectly safe.  Their burns from the oil and other liquids were minor.  They did not break any bones or suffer any other injuries.  The drunk driver, of course, is in jail.  In a completely seperate incident, two Wisconsin men are recovering from shock after their own car mowed them down as they were playing pool inside a bar.  Another random drunk driver was trying to get to the bar when he smashed into the back of their car which then crashed into the bar and struck them.  This driver is also in jail.

Okay, I think we need to lay off the liquor for a little while.  In the first incident, this man was actually trying to kill somebody.  He was looking for his girlfriend and her lover, and he wanted to run them over in her house but the drunk fool got the address wrong and ran over somebody else instead.  In the second case, this man was already drunk, trying to get to a bar.  Already drunk… trying to get to a bar.  I think we need a double dose of AA and some jail time to clear this up because this is getting out of control.

Three Minutes Is All You Need
Venezuelan tyrant–I mean, president has issued a decree that his subjects should stop singing in the shower.  People are spending too much time in the shower and wasting water.  The country is dangerously low on water and electricity supply, so Hugo Chavez has asked that everybody do their part by spending three minutes or less in the shower.  He said he has done this himself and he doesn’t stink, so nobody should have a problem.  Venezuela is having water difficulties because of the El Niño effect on the rain cycle in the country.  He also said “these are not Jacuzzi times,” meaning, people want to get in the tub or their Jacuzzis and lounge for a little while.  Get in there, wash your butt and get out, or he will have you arrested and executed.

So in addition to being completely impoverished and starving, he now wants you to shower less.  Venezuela will go the way of India sooner or later and just stave off deodorant entirely, just to save energy.

Zomebieland
Police are searching for an Iowa man who is apparently on a zombie hunt.  Another man was in a fast food restaurant ordering something to eat when the first man came up and shouted, “Zombie!” and then punched him in the face.  When the victim tried to call 911, the man shouted, “Zombie!” again and punched him once more, breaking his nose.  He then ran away.

The police are looking for this guy, but he may have been on to something.  What if that guy really was a zombie?  What then?  They took him to the hospital, treated him and let him go.  Now there’s a zombie on the loose in Iowa, but police are focusing on the guy that punched him.  Go figure.

No Way, Jose
A lawsuit is being brought against a New Mexico man trying to turn a failing hotel around.  The man bought the hotel earlier this year and told the current employees that a lot of changes were going to be taking place if they wanted the hotel to succeed.  He first told the employees that speaking Spanish around him was not allowed.  As we all know, New Mexico has a very large Spanish speaking population and the employee population of the hotel is largely Spanish.  The man said he didn’t want them speaking Spanish because he felt they were talking about him.  He also told the employees that they would have to make their names sound white.  So instead of Marcos, you would have to be Mark.  Instead of Jose, you got to be Joe.  He fired several Hispanic workers claiming that they called him a white nigger.  He said these employees were insubordinate and did not want to follow the new rules.  The employees say he is a racist.  In his own defence, the man claimed that when people from all around America come to visit they don’t want to be confused by Spanish sounding names and accents they can’t understand. 

I know it’s just wrong, but I think this is hilarious.  No, I wouldn’t want to change my name because somebody can’t pronounce it, and I wouldn’t appreciate being told that nobody wanted to be confused by my “accent.”  I think a Michigander accent is just as confusing as a Spanish accent.  Have you ever heard the Dutch Americans speak?  I go to this Amish market on Fridays and it takes me about 10 minutes to figure out the girl is asking me if I want chipped or sliced beef.  At any rate, I think it’s funny because it’s just so ridiculous.  First of all, white nigger?  Really?  But you want to sue him on discrimination.  Aren’t you being as hateful and racist as he is?  I also don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask people not to speak their second language in front of people who can’t understand it.  You do get the feeling like someone is talking about you, and they probably were since this guy sounds like a total asshole.  But nothing is worse than showing up somewhere and everybody is gabbing off in their native tongues.  When I go to the nail shop and all the women are cackling in Vietnamese or Korean, I feel a little unnerved.  Even though the United States does not have an official language (no, we really don’t, so you can’t go around saying that people need to learn English because it isn’t an official language), our business is conducted in English.  If you alienate people, then this is what happens:  lawsuits, which of course, are completely American, so this guy shouldn’t feel like he failed.  His employees have grasped the concept of Americanism.

Today’s Thought

Youth is a blunder.  Manhood a struggle; old age a regret.  ~Benjamin Disraeli

Daily News October 23

Today is October 23.  It is the 296th day of the year with 69 to go.

Today’s History

In 1983, 241 U.S. Service members, mostly Marines, were killed after a suicide bomber struck Beirut International Airport.
In 1995, Yolanda Saldivar was convicted of killing Tejano star Selena.

Today’s News

La-Z Drunk
A Minnesota man has pleaded guilty to drunk driven charges after he was caught driving under the influence in his motorized La-Z Boy chair.  The man left a bar after drinking eight or nine beers, climbed up into his La-Z Boy and took off before running into a parked car.  He had a blood alcohol content of more than three times the legal limit but there were no serious injuries.  The La-Z Boy chair comes equipped with a converted lawn mower engine, a stereo and cupholders.

Why do people do things like this?  Do you need a motorised La-Z Boy?  Who sits around and concocts these ideas?  Hmm, what if I shove an engine into the cushions?  Wonder what will happen, and then obviously he’s a drunk, so this is just a bad idea all around.

Hey, Look What I Got
Massachusetts police are looking for two men who robbed a woman after she flashed big bucks around in a bar.  The woman came into the bar and started bragging about how she got $27,000 from an insurance claim.  She then started flashing the money around.  Later that evening, when she and her friend were leaving the bar, two men came up and robbed her.  Surprise!

D’uh!  The police shouldn’t even take this seriously.  If I were one of the cops and she told me that she had been flinging the money around in the bar, I would have packed up and left.  In these troubling economic times, people are trying to get whatever they can by any means necessary and if you are foolish enough to walk up in a bar and start showing off, then you deserve everything that you get in life.  Sorry ’bout your luck, but that money is south of the border by now. 

We Know You Meant Well But…
A South Carolina man figured that the police would not want industrial grade explosives on the street, so he thought the best idea would be to turn them in.  The man’s uncle collected explosives as a hobby:  grenades, black powder, sticks of dynamite and other ordnance.  When the uncle died, the man decided that the explosives could fall into the wrong hands, so he drove from his home to his uncle’s home 80 miles away and loaded up his truck with the explosives.  He then turned around and drove the 80 miles back to his home county to give the explosives to the police in his area, instead of just going to the police in the uncle’s neighbourhood.  When the police discovered what was in the truck, they had to shut down several streets so the bomb squad could come in and destroy the items.

It sounded like a good idea at the time, but just in case you didn’t know, you don’t really drive up and down the street with unexploded ordnance and other volatile items.  Yeah, I know dynamite needs to be triggered, but what if this man was in an accident?  With a gas truck?  With a liquid nitrogen truck?  Yay!  Fourth of July in the middle of October.  I do not believe people actually think when they come up with a good idea.

I’d Rather Be In Jail
Instead of being excited to be finally getting out of prison, a man has requested to go back to prison rather than complete his jail term on house arrest.  The Italian man was sentenced to several years in jail for illegally dumping hazardous waste but was given house arrest because of his good behaviour.  As soon as he got home, the arguments with the wife began and he decided that it was better in jail.  He went up the street to the local police station and begged for them to put him back in jail.  They did ping him for violating the house arrest conditions but his sentence was to go back home and patch things up with his wife.  He and his wife were arguing because she claimed he wasn’t paying for the upkeep of their two children.

It is kind of difficult to hold down a job while one is in jail, and even more difficult to make money when you’re on house arrest, so not sure what she expects him to do.  Granted, he probably should not have been dumping hazardous waste and he would not even be in this situation.  But let the crime fit the punishment.

Finger-Licking Free
On Monday, KFC will once again attempt to give away a free grilled chicken to promote the new menu item.  It tried twice before, but both times they were so overwhelmed that websites crashed as customers flocked to download the coupons and restaurants were flooded with angry customers trying to get a piece of chicken.  Some restaurants even ran out causing riots.  KFC promises that they will have proper staffing and adequate supplies so that you can come get your free piece of greasy chicken.  Oh wait, this one is grilled, so there’s only half the grease.

I’ve heard mixed reviews.  Some people swear by it and have taken to worshipping it.  Others say that it’s only good for buffing scuff marks out the shoes.  But I like to let my readers know when something free is available.  I figure me and the kid will go get us a piece of chicken and nibble on it a little bit each day and that will be dinner for the week.