It Must Have Been the College Money

It must have been the money for college.  The recruiter talked about things like bonuses and special pay and your mind boggled with the possibilities.  Or maybe it was because you didn’t have any plans after high school.  You lived in a small po-dunk town with very few options and it seemed like a good idea at the time.  All your friends had plans and you didn’t want to be the only one hanging around.  Or maybe college just wasn’t for you and you needed a job skill that was transferable to the real world.  Maybe you just didn’t have anything else to do at the time and your friend talked you into it and you heard that chicks dig guys in uniform.

Or maybe you really do believe in all that stuff about God and country.  You feel a sense of pride when you look at the flag and you love to tell people how American you are.  Maybe because you didn’t ask what your country could do for you but what you could do for your country.  Maybe your father was a soldier.  Maybe your grandfather landed on Omaha.  Maybe you got inspired by 9/11.  You answered the call to take up arms in the name of peace.  Maybe you believed in the War on Terror, or maybe you didn’t even know who Osama ben Laden was before everything went down.  You don’t know anything about weapons of mass destruction.  Maybe Saddam Hussein was really a tyrant.  maybe you don’t even care.  Maybe you’ve never even given it a thought.

You just think about how long it’s been since you’ve been home and how come you haven’t gotten a care package in weeks.  You’re wondering why you volunteered again and what the consequences of that might be.  You’re thinking about the things you’ve seen and the things you’re gonna see.  You wonder if the next time you step outside that wire might be the last time.  You get that feeling in your gut when the convoy has to stop.  And when you make it back in, maybe you thank God and maybe you don’t, because you don’t believe in that kind of stuff.  Whatever the case may be, you’re just glad to be alive.  But then you hear about a buddy of yours in another company.

And you start thinking about getting back home.  You’re tired of waking up at o’dark-thirty.  You’re tired of the crappy food and the limited selection at the PX.  You miss your mom’s apple pie and going for long runs with your dog Spot.  You left the hot rod in the garage and it’s waiting for a fresh coat of paint.  You haven’t worn anything new in months and it doesn’t matter because you’re not going anywhere anyway.

And when you do get back home, maybe you come home to a hero’s welcome and maybe you don’t.  Maybe you’ll be met by protesters.  Maybe the media will follow you around when all you want is a little bit of quiet.  If you come home in one piece you consider yourself lucky.  Your body is in tact but it’s your soul that you have to worry about.  Forget about the fact that your friends and family don’t seem to understand why you keep getting called up.  They don’t know the difference between volunteer and volun-told.  You don’t even know why you’re doing it to yourself.

When you look in the mirror and ask yourself why, you can’t come up with an answer.  Maybe you like the way you look in uniform.  Maybe you’re proud of that patch on your shoulder.  Maybe you’ve achieved a goal after working so hard for so long.  You’re a pilot.  You’re an officer.  You finally got your stripes.  Maybe you feel like you’re apart of something greater than yourself.  Maybe you feel like you’re a member of a team.  Maybe when you’re with your buddies you feel like you finally belong.  Now you have a family.

Or maybe you think about all the sacrifices you’ve had to make.  You’ve missed your tenth anniversary and your wife has moved on.  Your son spoke his first words while you were gone.  You missed your daughter’s prom.  You were supposed to be the maid of honour at your best friend’s wedding.  It seems like everyone has moved on with their lives and you’re still in the same place.  Maybe it’s bittersweet and it is what it is.  Maybe you feel small, like nothing you do is making a difference.  Maybe you feel like nobody cares and you’re alone in the world.

So you go back to what you know.  You’re a Marine.  You’re a soldier.  You’re a sailor.  You’re an airman.  There’s never any rhyme or reason.  If they ask you the question you can’t quite explain it.  Maybe you do it so that someone else won’t have to.  Maybe you do it because it’s the right thing to do.  You don’t know why you care.  You don’t know why you don’t care.  There’s just something in you and you’re going with your gut instinct.

It must have been the college money because there’s no way any sane person would put up with this.  You’re thinking that your recruiter lied to you because all those bonuses and special pay don’t quite make up for all of this.  The sleepless nights, the thanklessness, the melancholy and the stress.  Yet time and time again, you put on that uniform and you head out that door to do your duty.  It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it.  You figure, whatever the reasons are, and who knows the reasons why, you did it and now someone else doesn’t have to.

Today in History: Veteran’s Day

Today is November 11 and it is Veteran’s Day.

Veteran’s Day is a holiday in the United States which honours military veterans.  In other parts of the world the day is known as Armistice Day or Remembrance Day in honour of the signing of the Armistice that ended World War I.

President Woodrow Wilson first commemorated the day in 1919, stating:

To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with lots of pride in the heroism of those who died in the country’s service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nations.

Congress passed an Act in 1938 proclaiming the 11th day of the 11th month as a federal holiday.  It wasn’t until 1953 that the idea of a day celebrating all veterans, not just those who served in World War I, to be honoured.  The change to Veterans Day was passed into law in 1954.

The day is usually observed with ceremonies and parades.  Federal government offices are closed, but some state and local offices may choose to remain open.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Cuz They Don’t Wanna Know

So the Army is trying to be all progressive and forward thinking by abolishing the ridiculous “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. If you don’t know, basically it’s like this policy that if you’re gay/bi/lesbian you shouldn’t go around blabbing it to everyone you know. The army won’t ask you your sexual preference but you aren’t supposed to tell anybody.  If you’re “discovered” as being gay, you could be from your position. 

When I was in Basic Training I discovered that sodomy was illegal under Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ). Not that I plan on doing it up the butt anytime soon, but if I wanted to, I could get thrown in jail, and so would most gay men, if that is their choice of activity.  Not surprisingly, this anti-gay policy seems to be more directed at gay men then gay women. 

But first of all, who really goes around announcing to the world their favoured sexual activities? I thought the whole class was quite lame and just something the drill sergeants used to embarrass us. Little did I know there were actually quite a few obviously gay people in my basic training class. Mostly because we were separated, I did notice the females right away. I don’t have any issues with gay people; they can do what they want. I just thought it was interesting. It made me wonder if they were “out” back home. Since we were miles from home, maybe this was the first chance they got to explore their sexuality. It just seemed like so many girls were gay.

When I went to AIT we were allowed to have more personality, and that’s when I started noticing the gay men. I was quite surprised to know that a gay man would be interested in joining the military. Maybe it’s because of the stereotypes that I think about when thinking of gay men. I know lots of gay men, but I still think of them as some flamboyant drag queen (even though the gay men I know are NOT like this). Why would a drag queen join the military where he would not be able to… uh… you know… be himself…. herself… whateves.  But that just goes to show how much I know about the gay lifestyle.  Not everybody is like how they portray in anti-gay Bible-thumper films. 

A gay friend of mine said he would like to join the military because he wanted a chance to serve his country.  An illness precludes him from doing so, but if he weren’t sick, he wouldn’t join under the current climate.  He doesn’t want to hide who he is.  No, he doesn’t prance around in high heels or wear makeup.  He’s a regular guy to me, actually more macho than some straight guys I know, and he would make an excellent soldier, if it weren’t for the fact that other men would be squeamish around him.  It’s sorry that ignorance motivates many of us, but it will take a long time for people to shed that cloak and come to grips with a people that really are quite normal.  Being gay isn’t anything new, just in case you didn’t know.

At any rate, I’m worried about what will happen if the policy is rescinded.  I want people to be as they are.  I think a lot of problems in this country stem from the fact that people are forced to lie about who they are.  We’ve seen it time and time again.  Two guys, two chicks, whatever… hanging out, having a great time.  Uh oh, one of them is gay and the other feels betrayed.  Well, if you let the person be who they are in the first place, you wouldn’t feel betrayed.  See how moronic it all is?

The army might want to be forward thinking but they do very little to school the “little people.”  Sure at the very top, all these generals and rear admirals are like, “Yeah, gays should be in the military.”  They are prepared to let the doors open willy-nilly but not prepare all the simple-minded assholes that make up the military.  Everybody at the bottom level.  I’m talking about PFC Bubba Smith from Kansas, who has never been out of his small town before.  Basic training was the first day he ever met a black man.  How do you think he feels about gays openly in the military?  He’s very uncomfortable because all he has ever known is the silly crap someone has fed him his whole life.

There are so many problems at the lower levels of the military:  racism, sexual harassment… it’s unbelievable.  Throw open homosexuality into the mix without proper education… it’s a time bomb.  And it’s sad that we have to be educated in the first place, but to not do so would be a huge mistake. 

Last night on FB, someone said, “the topic is don’t ask, don’t tell.”  Someone asked if there would be separate showers and sleeping quarters for gays. 

Seriously.

Someone else wrote, “why would you need separate anything since they’ve been showering with you this whole time and you just didn’t know it.”  Yeah, hate to tell you.  I can’t imagine anybody with half a brain would think there isn’t a single gay person in the whole military just because of some lame ass policy.  It just doesn’t work that way.  Because they had to pretend to be someone else in an overly macho testosterone driven environment.  If they get to come out and tell the world who they really are… oh Lord. 

There are untold sexual assaults going on right now in theatre.  Women are scared to talk because they don’t want to be seen as weak.  Gay bashing will probably exceed those atrocities out there where it’s like a no man’s land.  If a gay soldier gets his face kicked in by his peers, will he say anything?  Maybe he doesn’t want to be seen as weak either.  Maybe he doesn’t want to be driven away because maybe he feels like he has the right to be there just like anybody else. 

I’m all for equality and I wish this was a different world, but wishing doesn’t make it so.  I would rather people be who they really are and not who I (or the rest of the world) want them to be.  But I’m more worried about people’s safety.  It’s far bigger than you really understand.  It’s not just the bashed, or the basher, it’s the whole unit.  I have never been to war, but I know that everything must function cohesively.  If we got one person over there and one person over here and some people kind of in the middle, it just doesn’t work that way.  It can be very divisive in a situation where you need complete unity.

I think we should do away with the dumb policy, but I don’t know how we could accomplish it.  I don’t have any faith in the military.  Not like that.