Operation: WTF (Day 223)

And Don’t Forget My Black T-Shirt

It looks like this, but better... because it was MINE.

If you don’t know where that line came from, you probably don’t listen to a lot of Ben Folds Five.  Don’t worry about that.  We’re not here to talk about Ben Folds Five.  We’re here to talk about the thieving jackasses at the laundry point.  I do not know why I act like I was born yesterday and just discovered how shitty people are.  This is not news to me, but once again I am completely astounded at the low-lifery of people.  Stealing clothes.  Really?  And you have a job, so I don’t understand what the problem is.  Why do you want someone else’s castoff garments, I just don’t get it.

So, I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that I have been a victim of theft by the people who work in the laundry facility.  At least three or four times a week I go in there with my clothes to get them washed.  I have not had any problems, except for random missing socks, this whole time I’ve been here.  I’ve been washing the same three running shirts and the same three running shorts ever since they allowed us to wear civilian PTs.  I go in there three times a week with a separate laundry bag for my civilian clothes.  I do not inventory my military stuff because I really don’t care about them like that.  I do care about my civilian clothes, stuff I actually paid for.  I take the time to inventory one black t-shirt, one black shorts, and one black spandex shorts.  I only bring one running outfit at a time, so they don’t get confused.  I do like the sign says.  I inventory when I bring the clothes in and I inventory when I get the clothes out.  Today, I got back one black shorts and one black spandex shorts.  Uhm, where is my one black t-shirt?  The guy is looking at me like he has never seen that black t-shirt before.  You know where it is.  You gave it to your wife or one of your girlfriends.

I want my shit back.

I have a valid claim because I followed all directions according to everything that is posted on the wall in there.  The guy made some big show of calling people all over the place.  I don’t care if he calls President Obama.  I would like to have my shirt back.  So then he asks me how much the shirt was.  The thing is, there is no price.  It is the shirt I got when I did the Monster Dash last year.  It is actually a very nice Under Armour shirt.  It was a surprising race premium because that particular race only cost $15.  A 5K can cost like $50 and most of the time they upcharge if you want a nicer t-shirt than the crummy cotton one they usually give out.  The shirt is really nice AND I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE IT BACK.

I told the guy it cost $40, which is reasonable.  Under Armour shirts are expensive.  I know everyone is thinking that I shouldn’t wear my nice stuff but when you bring the laundry people cheap shit, it gets faded or messed up and you end up having to buy something to replace it.  You spend more money that way.  If people would just be fucking honest and leave shit alone that is not theirs, then it would not matter how much I spent on a shirt.  I bought all those cheap spandex pants that ended up getting ruined.  Those cheap ass $10 spandex pants I bought at Wal-Mart before I left Fort Hood, they shredded while I was running because they probably turn the machines up to mega-agitation.  So then I went a spent a few extra dollars on more expensive spandex shorts and those gave me some kind of weird ass lesion on my ass.

Yeah, I know... ALL OVER HER ASS.

SIDE NOTE:  I know you’re like…. what the fuck?  Seriously, I bought these other spandex shorts that chafed badly but at first I didn’t put two and two together.  I bought the shorts, went running, took a shower and the next day my ass hurt, but I could not figure out why.  It’s TMI, but I don’t give a shit.  What does a person do in these situations?  There is no privacy here, even in the bathrooms.  There aren’t any mirrors low enough so I could see what was going on and it’s not like I can ask anybody without them looking at me like some skank.  Yeah, I could go to sick call, but can you imagine how that would turn out?  First you have to go to the Company and get a sick slip and you have to tell the people there what the problem is.  So I tell the 1SG I have unidentified marks on my ass, there is going to be some embarrassing looks and bizarre questions.  And then what?  Go to the TMC so some PFC can look at my ass?  No thanks.  And you know how rumours get started.  I can totally do without that in my life, so for like three weeks I was completely mystified until I was doing inventory at the laundry.  When I pulled the spandex shorts out of the laundry bag, I saw that the stitching is right on the ass crack.  WHO DOES THAT!?!?!  Cheap shit.  END OF SIDE NOTE.

That's for my black t-shirt!!

I have probably given you far more information than you require but at this point I really do not care.  I just want my t-shirt back.  The guy said to give him five days.  Five days for what?  So you can write to Taiwan for a cheap imitation?  No thanks.  If this dude don’t have my shit back in five days I’m punching him in the face.

Daily News November 5

Today is November 5.  It is the 309^th day of the year with 56 days to go.

Today’s History

In 1605, Guy Fawkes failed to blow up the English Parliament in the Gunpowder Plot.  (Remember, remember, the fifth of November!)
In 1912, Woodrow Wilson defeated Teddy Roosevelt and William Howard Taft in the presidential election.
In 1940, Franklin D. Roosevelt won an unprecedented third term in office.

Today’s News

Here All Along
A mother, the baby-sitter and the baby-sitter’s husband are all under arrest after a Florida baby that had been missing for five days was found under the bed in the family home.  The baby was found alive.  The parents of the child called police to report the child missing.  They told the police they hadn’t seen her since the middle of the night after one of her feedings.  Police did not find any signs of a break-in and searched the surrounding area.  After five days, the police asked the couple if they could search the home.  They looked under the bed and found a box with the child inside, with clothes and toys and other things surrounding the baby in order to hide her.  After further investigation, the police decided to arrest the child’s mother, the baby-sitter and the baby-sitter’s husband.  The father, who is related to the baby-sitter, has not been arrested but he is still under investigation.  The child has been removed from the parents’ custody.

I’m very confused by this story.  First of all, when a child goes missing, why don’t they search the home first?  Why did they wait until five days later?  Secondly, they don’t say what condition the child was in.  The child is alive, yes, but were they feeding her and just shoving her back under the bed?  What did they do when she started crying?  Ignore her?  Was she in a messy dirty diaper?  She’s been crapping for five days… so nobody smelled an awful smell?  The baby was found in her own home, so how is the baby-sitter and her husband involved in this?  These news stories don’t give enough information.  I want to know what is going on.  I’m glad they took the baby away because obviously these people have a lot going on right now.

Oh, the Irony
An Ohio man was arrested for drunk driving after he was found driving down the wrong side of the street without any headlights on.  When the police stopped the 20 year old, they found an open beer in the front seat and more beer in the trunk.  After taking a Breathalyzer test, his blood alcohol content level was discovered to be at .158, almost twice the limit of .08.  The irony of this whole situation was that it was Hallowe’en night.  The man was dressed as a Breathalyzer. 

Har har har.  That’s stupid.  The Breathalyzer costume is ridiculous.  The little blow piece is over the …you know… and there’s a little sign that says “Blow here.”  How lame, and then you have the nerve to be underage, drunk driving down a one way street with a fake ID and an open beer in the car.  You’re just jacked up all around.  Have a nice life, loser.

You Know That’s a Horse, of Course
A South Carolina man is getting three years in prison after pleading guilty to having sex with a horse.  He will also have to have psychiatric help and is ordered to stay away from the stables where he’d been assaulting the horse repeatedly.  The owner of the stables thought something strange was going on but she could not imagine for her life that someone was actually sexually assaulting her horse.  The horse was behaving strangely and was getting weird infections.  She also noticed that things in the stable were being moved around.  The woman decided to set up a surveillance camera.  She caught the man the first time asleep in the barn but she still had no idea what he was up to.  The second time, she actually walked in on him having sex with the horse.  She held a shot gun on him and called the police. 

Uhm, wow.  Just… wow.  I need to understand what is going on here.  Actually, no I don’t.  I don’t even want to know.  This is as bad as the Jacksonville man who was arrested for sexually assaulting a dog.  He lured the dog into the park with some dog food.  When he was arrested he told the police, “I can’t get no girl.”  Uhm, this might be why.

The Sad Life
A Pennsylvania woman and her grown daughter have been arrested for theft after they were caught stealing from a 9-year old child on her birthday.  The little girl was in a Wal-Mart trying to buy something with a gift card she had received for her birthday.  While the Wal-Mart employee helped her get something off the shelf, the little girl put the gift card down and the two women came up and snatched the card and ran away.  They were stopped later by security.  As punishment for their heinous crimes, the judge made them stand outside the courthouse for nearly five hours with a sign that says, “I stole from a 9 year old on her birthday!”  The girl’s mother said they will drive by the courthouse as a lesson that you should always obey the law or be humiliated beyond belief.

How are you a grown ass woman and you steal from a child?  That is sad.  In fact, that’s sadder than sad.  Look at this woman.  She is 56 years old, hanging outside the courthouse with a sign that says she is a thief.  I would be humiliated.  But then again, some people just don’t have no shame.  That’s okay, we’ll have a good laugh at your expense.  Everybody, point at the lady and laugh.  This is an atrocity.

If You’re Here…
…then who the hell is that?  A Brazilian man shocked his family by showing up to his own funeral.  The family had been told that their son had died in a car accident.  Several uncles, some friends and his mother went to identify the body.  The mother did not believe it was her son and everybody thought it was because she was saddened with grief.  The body had been badly damaged, making identification difficult.  Because the body was wearing clothes similar to their relative, everybody assumed it was him  Brazilian custom requires that the funeral take place the very next day, so the following morning, everybody got up and went to the funeral.  The real man was in the next town over, sleeping off a drinking binge, when he heard about his supposed funeral.  As they were burying the body, the man showed up.  Needless to say, everybody was quite relieved.  Police were able to correctly identify who the dead person was and he has been sent to his own family for burial.

The crazy thing is that all of this happened on the Latin tradition of Day of the Dead.  I know some people don’t believe in all that, but if I were at a funeral and I see a “dead” person walking in, I’m screaming the church down and running away.  There’s too much unsolved mystery for me to just accept the fact that you weren’t really dead.  Yeah, I know about technology and science and all that, but we’re talking initial reaction.  I’d probably have to be hospitalized for at least a week while I got my mind right.

Excess Luggage
A Phoenix couple is under arrest after police discovered more than 1000 pieces of luggage stacked up in their home.  Three weeks prior to this, police observed the man drive up to the airport, go down to baggage claim, pick up a bag and then get back in his car with it.  He was charged and arrested.  After that, they began an investigation on him and when they searched his home they found all the luggage stacked up in the house.  The ID tags had been removed so authorities have no way of identifying whose luggage is whose.  The crazy thing is that none of the luggage had been plundered.  The couple didn’t really steal anything out of the bags.  They just had the bags scattered all over the house.  They have been doing this for more than two years.

Uhm, can you get a better hobby, please?  This wouldn’t be so strange if they were actually stealing stuff out the luggage, looking for valuables.  In this case, they weren’t doing anything but hanging on to the luggage.  What kind of weird obsession do they have with suitcases?  Who even knows, and that’s why they are going to jail.  Have a nice life.

Thought of the Day

Good taste is better than bad taste, but bad taste is better than no taste at all. ~Arnold Bennett