Workers’ Compensation #8

This week my schedule rotated and I finally have the weekends off. I’ve been ehre for almost 5 years, and I have never been assigned the weekends off. I did get it one time back in the day, early on when they did the computer generated schedule, but I traded it to Chris G because I needed the weekdays off for school. I’ve had the seniority to get the weekends, but I never took it for school. When I finally finished school, I was part time so there was nothing I could do about my schedule anymore, but now… after some finanglin’ and some rearrangin’ I have off Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays.

Anyway, after having been gone three days, I return to find that they got me! Well, us, really. All of us abusing company time and wasting it on MYSPACE!! Seriously, everyone here has a myspace page. I’ve even heard of supervisors that have pages. At any rate, people come to work, act like their doing their job training components but really they are looking up old girlfriends on myspace. I do it too. But the stupid thing is, they didn’t block out EVERYTHING! Yeah, they got myspace, but they didn’t get youtube or livejournal or blackplanet or all those other sites that are equally addictive. I guess it’s only a matter of time.

I hate work.

I just found out who my supervisors are going to be. I got a list of real winners. I can see that this new rotation is going to be an interesting one. Just when I thought my life couldn’t get any worse, I heard who the managers were going to be. Great. The list of screeners doesn’t look too bad, but it’s usually one or two people that ruin it for you, and then terrible supervisors and bad managers on top of all that. Great, just great.

Please, God, I need a new job. I know I’m always whining and complaining about something, but I swear to goodness, I will be good as gold if you just give me a new job that has equal or higher pay, and is a little more fulfilling then this garbage.

Chip says, “This is not a job, it’s an adventure.”

Yeah, an adventure to hell!.

I had two psycho passengers today. Well, one wasn’t a pyscho, she just smelled like a sewage treatment plant. I think she was an invalid, maybe couldn’t control her bowels or something, but she smelled like straight shit. You know, in our job, it’s all about security and we have to screen these people, but I couldn’t even stand within a 3 foot radius of her. Every time I approached her I wanted to gag, and I had just eaten lunch. I’m so smell-sensitive. Everything always seems strong to me. Shannon refused to help her so we had to get the supervisor. I wound up throwing up. You know how you say, “She smelled so bad, I almost threw up?” Well, I did throw up. I couldn’t help it! It was gross.

Earlier in the day I had to get crazy on this passenger because she called herself trying to run shit. I guess they have those Passenger Security degrees online these days, because everyone wants to tell you how to do your job. I go out to get more passengers, fill up my line because they stand around like sheep, “D’uh, which line is the shortest? Will this line take me to D pier?” After I fill my queue, I close the rope, work with what I got and go get some more. My shit was full, plus I had some other things to do. This lady decides to hop her big fat, sloppy ass out of the middle of the main line and open up MY rope and then leaves the bitch open.

We’re all in the lane working and I’m noticing that there are more and more passengers just flooding up the place and I’m like, hold on, who is bringing in all these people? I go down there to see the rope was open and I knew I had closed it. I thought about the Fat Bitch in the Pink Hat. I went up to her, “Excuse me, did you open my rope and then have the nerve not to close it back?”


Uhm, who told you to do that. Now you’ve let in all these passengers after you and I have something else I need to do. Do you have any idea what we’re doing here? Do you work here? Do you have authority to start running things around here?

She is staring at me like I’m crazy. The passengers behind her are looking at me like I’m about to eat them all alive. I tell the passengers, “Thanks a lot. You have no idea what is going on and you are trying to get ahead to the front of the line and now you’ve made a mess. Get to the end of the line!”

I made her ass get out of my line and go to the end, and then I made her go to the end of the big line. She was just standing there. All the other passengers were apologetic. “Sorry we didn’t know.” Don’t worry about it, because when you start actin’ a fool, we always find a way to straighten you out!

Don’t mess with Titties, Sex, and Ass!! We’re top flight security of the world!

I hate my life. I’m committing suicide tonight. It’s been nice knowing you all.


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