I have never saved a brown penny in my life. Every time I get paid, I spend it all. Either it’s bills, necessities or some bullshit, I am usually broke the day before I get paid again.
That is no way to live. I have done shit like skip out on my gas bill to eat out, or save up to go shopping in New York but ignore my cell phone bill. I never fuck up on my rent or car note or anything that they can take away from me, but I could really care less about electricity or some other crap. Isn’t that sad?
These are my confessions.
Anyway, after TSA started fucking up all my pay checks and other events, I hit an all time low when it came to money. I was getting like $200 pay checks. What the fuck is that? Really, they could keep that for all the help it did. With all the other stuff that was going on in my life, everything was just piling up on me. I’m the type of person that I think if I ignore it, it will just go away. Oh, sooner or later, bill collectors will stop calling me. Yeah right. My credit is so fucked. I’m ashamed to admit it, but it’s the truth and I try to at least be honest with myself.
But no more!
Everything that I owed from like January until now is PAID OFF. Now, I can actually start saving. I have never done that before. I’m actually scared to put some money aside, like something is going to happen to it or something. At least if don’t have a penny to my name, nothing can happen to my money. Why, cuz I don’t have any!
See what kind of ass-backward thinking I succumb to? I’m such a child.
When you are down, oh my God, you are down. Like in the dirt, the scum of the earth.
But when it rains, it pours! Now it seems like I have money coming out my ears. I’m not bragging, it’s just that I can’t help but wonder where all this money was when I was getting kicked out of my apartment and my car note people were calling me like, “Bitch, we comin’ for the car!” They told me not to hide it because they have CarTrak on it. It’s some shit they use to track your car if it’s ever stolen, but they also use it when they want to repo it. Yeah, I would get up at random hours of the night to check and see if my car was still there. One time I forgot I parked it around the corner and I started crying because I thought they got me. Then I realised, you dummy! It’s out back! What a relief.
So I opened a savings account today since I’ve never had one before. At least I’m not a total idiot though, I always contributed to my TSP and now I contribute to my 401k. I don’t want to be working when I am old. I mean, look at me! When I’m old I’m still going to be young, so when I got old I am going to pretend that I am some young, rich debutante and just enjoy all the money I’m putting into these retirement accounts.
Seriously, if you aren’t taking advantage of your company’s 401k or TSA’s TSP plan, you’re a retard. Fuck that you might need the money now. You need it LATER when you are old. Do you really want to be slaving away at Wal-Mart as a greeter when you’re 60? And those of you that have kids… well, don’t think that when they get 18 they are suddenly going to disappear out your life. Hmmph, yeah right. I’m almost 100 and I’ve been borrowing money from my parents since I was born.
Anyway, I’m a little proud of myself that I was able to hang on to a few dollars without losing my mind. I know you are like, “okay, what is the big deal?” but seriously, it is for me! So don’t you rain on my parade.
It’s pennies really, a drop in the bucket, but it’s better than nothing, and it’s a start.
So don’t hate when I am like speeding past you in my [insert name of fancy car here] and you are still sitting on a whack Nissan or my old beat up Hyundai. : )