Daily News August 25

The Story on Michael Vick
Why is everyone so pumped on Michael Vick? Does this fool deserve a second chance? Hell no. He is a loser. This is a very talented man in the beginning of what would have been a most excellent football career and he blew it on some dumb shit. It wasn’t prostitutes or drugs, or even murder like some of his other NFL co-workers have committed, this idiot decides that he wants to enrage some dogs so they can fight each other. Is this amusing? How is watching some dogs fight each other entertaining? Whatever, to each his own.

Every time I hear about an athlete screwing up his own career, I just laugh. They deserve everything they get. They have a talent that only like 3 per cent of the population has. Then only 1 per cent of that three per cent gets a chance to really utilise that talent and make some money. How many fantastic athletes do you know are really good but they just don’t have the right contacts? They’ll never go pro even though they are 10 times better than somebody already playing?

Guys like Michael Vick get a once in a lifetime opportunity. You only get one chance and if you screw it up, that’s it. He could go to jail, albeit it won’t be hard time, but he won’t be playing football in jail, unless he’s playing with the Gridiron Gang. He’s a moron. He doesn’t deserve a second chance. I hope he loses all his endorsements, although I think he already has.

He is as bad as that other dumb hoe, Lisa Nowack, the stupid hoe that drove from Texas to Florida in a diaper so she could try to kill the woman her boyfriend dumped her for. Lisa Nowack, Michael Vick, that idiot Jason Williams, they get these chances and they fuck it up on some dumb shit. I wish someone would give me a chance, I wouldn’t screw it up. I’d be living like a queen, not making an ass of myself on public television with some shit like, “I’m sorry I let all my fans down. I need to grow up.” Yeah, Michael, you do, and for the rest of your pathetic life you’ll be kicking yourself in the ass when you think about all the money you just gave up in the form of endorsements and million dollar football contracts over some dogs. Idiot.

Here she is, Miss Dumb Ass America
By now everyone has heard about the moron from South Carolina. This sweet, pretty as a peach, all-American girl who is about as intelligent as a box of donuts.

When asked, “Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?”

She responded, “I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, um, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq and everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future.”

Translation: I’m a fucking retard and I don’t understand the question. I thought this was a beauty pageant. Ask me questions about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Later she recanted her initial response with this: “Personally, my friends and I, we know exactly where the United States is on a map. I don’t know anyone else who doesn’t. If the statistics are correct, I believe there should be more emphasis on geography in our education so people will learn how to read maps better.”

Translation: When my friends and I get together, we have what amounts to one normal-sized brain and we discovered that it doesn’t matter if people know where the United States is. We’re prettier way than everyone else, so who cares? Only ugly people should have to worry about stuff like that.

This is a sad representation of what America values. Beauty over brains. Every year they parade dingy blondes and bird-brained brunettes around in bikinis and ball gowns. Half those hoes cannot spell their own names, yet teen girls are supposed to look up to these creatures who eat 450 calories a day and plaster make-up on their faces like drywall. It’s insanity. I’m glad this dumb idiot is being laughed at from one end of the United States to the other. Hopefully other twiggies like her will try to add some intelligence to these so-called beauty contests.

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