Daily News October 23

Their Toys Are the Bomb
In a Dutch town in Amsterdam, small children were found playing with a high explosive World War II shell at this playground. Basically, it was a bomb, okay? These kids were out there playing with it for months before someone finally realised exactly what their new toy was and they called the proper authorities who detonated the device.

Sorry kids

The City of Ugly Love
Ladies and gentlemen if you are looking for an attractive partner, don’t go to Philadelphia. According to a recent Forbes survey, visitors and residents classified Philadelphia residents as the most unattractive. This comes after a survey that listed Philadelphia residents as some of the most obese in the nation.

Just in case you were wondering, DC was ranked right above Philly for most unattractive residents. Baltimore’s residents were so ugly they didn’t even make the list.

She Got That Stuff, You Know, That Stuff
In St. Maarten a stripper is being blamed for passing around a potentially deadly disease. Strippers do this all the time, passing around HIV, VD, Syph, and other skank diseases, but this particular stripper from the Dominian Republic is being blamed for passing around tuberculosis. Forty people tested positive after coming into contact with the stripper. All have been treated and released, including the stripper.

The type of tuberculosis she had was latent, meaning the victims would probably feel no symptoms, but can contract the full disease.

See, yet another reason why people should stay away from strippers hoes.

Sick of High Gas Prices
A 70 year old Florida man is being brought on charges of grand theft. On a regular basis this man was driving up to gas stations in this big ass truck outfitted with a siphon and tank, and he was stealing GALLONS of gas. The tanks inside this truck could hold 3250 gallon of gasoline.

Basically he would roll up to the gas station, open up this trap door on his truck to hide what he was doing, stick this siphoning hose into one of the gas tanks and just fill that piece up. He was so bold he even did it in front of a cop while the two were chatting about something completely unrelated.

After awhile, gas station owners started noticing that mad gas was going missing, and the cops started paying attention to these gas stations. They were finally able to catch the man who had been apparently doing this for years now.

So, basically, I’m trying to figure out how he did this. I don’t need 3250 gallons of gas, just 17 gallons about every week or so to fill up my car. Can you hook a sistah up? I wonder if he was selling it. What was he doing with all that gas?

A Smashing Good Time
A 75 year old woman from Virginia has bee fined for going to the offices of Comcast and smashing up equipment. Apparently the woman had been trying to get service from the company for a few days and nothing happened. They waited for a service man to come out and hook up their Triple Play and no one showed up. Then a manager was supposed to call them back but no one ever did.

When she started complaining about the poor service, Comcast allegedly cut off their service. So the woman got pissed. She got a hammer and went to their office and smashed up a keyboard, monitor and telephone. She said since her shit don’t work neither will theirs. She was arrested and fined, also given a suspended jail sentence, since she is like 75 years old.

The lady is now a customer of Verizon.

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