Senseless Scribbling of an Idiot #3

So, this morning I woke up thinking I was going to do some overtime, but decided that today was the perfect day for laziness.  It’s raining, chilly, very dreary.  This is a day for laying on your couch, overeating and watching reruns of Friends

I do intend to clean up a little bit.  It’s getting a trifle messy, particularly this one corner with unopened mail dating back more than a year.  Hmmm.

I get up and decide to go to Wal-Mart because at this hour of the morning it wouldn’t be crowded especially with all this rain.  I was going to write in one of my “In the News” blogs about a parrot who saved the lives of a family by imitating the fire alarm when their house caught on fire.  I didn’t have any other interesting stories to write about so I never did.  Anyway, what happened was this family was pretty much asleep when I fire broke out.  The parrot started making sounds like a fire alarm and they all woke up and managed to get out of the house before the house collapsed.

So, what does this have to do with me?  Well, I’m in Wal-Mart, minding my own business, annoyed that they are already putting up Christmas stuff when Hallowe’en is not even over.  There is a display of nativity scenes, and I always think they are so pretty.  I was taking a look-see when someone said, “Hi!” in this loud as annoying voice that scared the shit out of me.  It scared me to the point that I pushed my basket and it ran into a display of candy.  When I went to get the basket that voice said, “Hi!” again.  I was looking all around like, what the fuck?  Who is talking to me?

Hi!

So I was like, “Uhm, hello?” I was feeling real dumb because after I got the basket and turned around I saw a display of fucking toy parrots next to the candy.  All them shits were talking to me.

At any rate, so I go to get in line after getting what I needed.  The lines are a little bit long because they only have a few registers open.  So I am standing there, chillin’, minding my own business and I hear like a cheer, like you know high school cheers.  “We sexy, we fly and you ain’t got no alibi cuz you ugly.  Yeah, yeah, you’re ugly.”

I kept hearing that over and over again, and I turn around thinking it’s some pre-teens playing around and it’s a little boy about 3 years old and he was jammin’.  He was doing the hand movements, shaking his butt with so much attitude I swear to goodness he should have been a 12 year old girl.  His father was with him and kept telling the boy to stop, but that boy was on a roll.  I was in line about 5 or 6 minutes and that whole time he was doing cheers, stepping and dancing in the aisle.  He was like, “Ready?!  Okay!” and then he started stepping.  That shit was hilarious and the boy’s father was just shaking his head.

I don’t know who he spends time with, but obviously he is in their company a whole lot for him to know the every step routine from Stomp the Yard.

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