How Do They Goth in Columbia, MD?

There’s this new night open in Columbia, MD.  According to what I could find, the night has been on for about a month after the place finally got its liquor license.  For the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to get out there to see what it’s like, and tonight I finally got the chance.

The Night:
Undercity at Cyberden
18+         
$5                                                                         

The Location:
6410 Dobbin Rd, Columbia MD

Parking:
Because it’s in a shopping centre next to the MVD, there’s plenty of normal parking.  Not shitty street parking either!

The Ambience:
By day Cyberden is a gaming facility.  They have PS3, XBox360, Nintendo and PC consoles set up with lush couches and comfortable seating for your gaming experience.  So with all that tech going on, naturally it’s very cyber… hence, Cyberden.  D’uh. 

As for the club scene, well, it seems everyone is more interested in the gaming than the clubbing.  The club is separated but you can access both sides.  Alcohol is not allowed on the gaming side.  Under 18 is not permitted without guardian on club nights. 

There are lots of places to sit with quaint little tables inviting intimate conversation.  The DJ booth is accessible for requests.  The dance floor is out of the way so people are not walking back and forth across it. 

I find myself always commenting about the bathroom, and this is no exception.  For once, the facilities are clean here.  However, I feel this bathroom was designed by some idiotic man.  No counter space whatsoever or even extra sink room.  Where do I put my purse while I’m washing my hands?  But I guess I should be thankful the bathroom didn’t look like the Exorcism of Emily Rose like at Spellbound, or the shit-splosion I once saw at an IHOP in Orlando.

Drinks and Vendors:
Cyberden boasts a fantastic dessert selection, but when I went I only saw a handful of cakes and some pre-packaged muffins.  I did eat a cappuccino cake because I couldn’t resist it.  I also didn’t look at the menu very well, so I’m sure there’s other things that I didn’t see.  I did notice a Starbucks-type selection of coffee drinks.  The place just got its liquor license.  I observed that there didn’t appear to be THAT much liquour going on though.  I just happened to glance at the bar and saw a few bottles.  But I also don’t drink so one is just the same as the other to me.

The Dancefloor:
Nice dancefloor.  Very spacious and clean.  They got some fancy lights and a smoke machine but the smoke machine was irritating to me.  Made my eyes water and it smelled funny.  The dancefloor also has a separate stage so if they wanted they could have bands.  They also have huge TV screens that played videos of some of the songs in the set.

The Crowd:
Since there was like 5 people there when I first got there, I can’t even really say anything about the crowd.  These five people all appeared to know each other.  One guy introduced himself as Ammo (????), or something, and offered to introduce me to everyone else, which surprised me seeing as most MD/DC freaks are incredibly clique-ish.  But due to my anti-social behaviour, I refused his kind offer, opting to sit in the corner glaring at everyone.

Other people did show up, but not much.  I would say there was about 20 people total, and most of them didn’t even take their coats off, standing around for a little bit before wandering over to the gaming side. 

How Do They Dress?:
As I mentioned before, there was only like 7 people there so how can I report on their fashion?  There was one horrid display:  a girl in quasi-futuristic clothing and cat ears.  I’m not sure how she thought the fembot look went with Minnie Mouse, but then, you know, there’s no accounting for taste these days.

Other than that, I can’t really say anything because nobody was there.
The Music:
I enjoyed the music.  It was almost entirely industrial, powernoise, rock, D&B, etc.  I can’t recall any EBM.  Definitely no lace-fan goth, no synthpop, which, if added, might have proven a little more diverse than whatever song he played that sounded like an explosion at a construction site.

I can’t say if the crowd liked the music or not because the dance floor was largely empty the whole night.  Ministry’s Just One Fix was the only song that got almost everyone on the dancefloor, after that, it was these two chicks for a little while, and then some guy and that was about it.  So who knows if they liked it or not.

Interesting Tidbits:
The cappuccino cake was delicious.  Mmmm, cake.

The Best:
Gaming, even though I don’t come to the club to game. 

The door guy was hot, so at least that was something.
The Worst:
They probably need to advertise more, so right now the worst is the fact that nobody is there.

Oh yeah, and could they please turn the damn fans on?  Luckily, as there was only 12 people in the whole place, it wasn’t stuffy like breathing other people’s air, but there was like no circulation.  There were fans on the overhead lights but they weren’t in operation.  Every time they set off that damn smoke machine, I couldn’t breathe.  I guess they figured since it’s like 17 degrees outside, no need for air circulation on the inside.

On a scale of 1 to 10:
4.7, but I really think there is potential once the word gets out about this place, and maybe the DJ shifts it up a little bit with the music.  I love industrial and prefer a heavy rotation of it, but for the sake of everyone else, you should probably add a little something else to the line-up.

I don’t know what their advertising is like.  I just happened to find it looking for something else not club related.  I don’t think they are on any freak lists.  If they want people to show up, they might want to let people know.

Would I road trip for it:
Hell no.  I need something to look at when I’m not dancing.  Four people sitting around on a couch staring at the light show is not my idea of a good time

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