Daily News May 7

The Outrageous Party in Saudi Arabia

Apparently, Saudi Arabia is the new place to party.  They are getting out of control in the desert kingdom.  An unprecedented event has occurred in this normally strict and religious nation.

Men and women were allowed to attend a concert together.  *gasp* Yes, that’s right.  Men and women in the same venue…listening to music!  I know!  It’s so outrageous, it’s just shocking.

Saudi Arabia is a strict Wahhabist Muslim country.  Wahhabis are like the Menonites and Mormons rolled up into one extremist package.  Many of the terrorists are Wahhabi Muslims and take a very extreme view of Islam.  That doesn’t necessarily mean all Wahhabis are terrorists; it just means that this particular form of Islam is the easiest to go overboard.

In Saudi Arabia, men and women do not go about in mixed company.  When you go into a fast food restaurant, there are two lines:  one for men and the other for women.  Women cannot drive in Saudi Arabia.  They must ask permission to have surgery, to leave the country or to have a job.  Men cannot wear t-shirts or jeans in public, and you know all women must be draped from head to toe in a black sack, if they are even allowed in public at all.

Music played in a public forum is prohibited in Saudi Arabia.  There are concerts, however, all concerts are private events and only the super wealthy or government officials can attend.  A regular guy off the street can’t just be like, “Yeah, can I get two tickets to Megadeth?”

For this particular outrageous event, men and women attended a 30-minute concert of Mozart’s works in public.  They were allowed to sit next to each other.  At first, people were concerned but an opportunity like this might never come around again.  Most Saudis have never heard live music before.  You better get it while you can.

Congratulations to King Abdullah for coming out of the Stone Ages, even if it was only for 30 minutes for a Mozart concert.  Hopefully, he will introduce modernity into his kingdom.  I ain’t saying he has to get buck wild, you know, invite Michael Bolton, or anything, but it is possible to remain modest and religious without forcing everyone to live like it’s 1608.  Beyonce will not be adding Riyadh to her tour dates quite yet, but there is hope.  Somehow, I’m not sure if House of Dereon will come up with designer burqas.

The $600 Fix

Starting last week, 100 million Americas will begin receiving their stimulus checks.  Apparently, the government thinks that by sending us a weak ass check of $600 we are supposed to start spending uncontrollably to boost the economy.

What, may I ask, is $600 supposed to do?  If you have a family, you’re going to get more, but on a statistical level, it equates to the same thing.  The average gallon of gas is $3.62.  Most adjustable rate mortgage loans are out of control.  People are losing their homes left and right.  Food prices are through the roof.  How can the government possibly think the first place you would think to go is Best Buy?

I know there are some people who have been “dealing” with the economic situation, and maybe they might be a Circuit City looking for a plasma screen.  There’s probably a lot of irresponsible people who said, “Fuck it” and will buy whatever it is they want and screw what they really need.  But the rest of us, it’s either going in the bank or paying off some bills that have grown out of control.  I randomly asked 7 people at my job what they were going to do with their checks.  Four said they had something they wanted to pay off and 2 said they were going to save it.  One guy said he was going to buy rims for his car, but that’s because he lives at home.

The government spent a huge chunk of change just trying to get the word out they were going to give us the money.  The spent millions of dollars in television advertising, mailers and other forms of communication.  I guess I feel like if the government can throw money around just trying to let us know something, the government can do a little more to stimulate the economy and leave us poor folks out of it.  I’m no economist and probably don’t know what I’m talking about, but it just seems a little ridiculous.

I feel like $600 is putting a band-aid on a gunshot wound.  My $600 is going to pay an old debt.  I won’t be at Nordstrom’s looking for a new dress.  I didn’t even get a tax return because I owed so much on my taxes.  I wish they would have just kept the damn money so I didn’t have to kick out $1200 in owed taxes.  It would have saved me the headache.  But America does everything ass backwards.  Being single in American is an expensive proposition.  I should either become homeless, have 12 children and get on welfare, or start selling crack to get ahead.  It seems like too much just to make an honest dollar.

Here’s a quote for you:  Big time baseball player Jose Canseco lost his 2.5 million house to foreclosure.  He said:  “People have to understand that [with] $35 million, [in yearly salary] you’re paying the government 41%.  That leaves you with about $17 or $18 million, not even.  Then you’re taking care of your whole family.”

Seventeen or eighteen million to take care of your whole family?  Sorry about your bad luck.  So for those of us that don’t take home $35 million a year, I guess we’re shit out of luck.  What the fuck are we supposed to do against those odds?  Spend $600 on a TV like the government thinks we should?  Why?  When it costs $70 a week in gas just to get to work, the kids to school and groceries in the ‘fridge.  Yeah, okay, Mr. President.

Thank you, whatever lawmaker that decided presidents can only stay in for 2 terms.  Or this shit might’ve gone on forever.

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