Daily News May 28

Pot:  For Official Use Only
A customs agent in Tokyo accidentally lost a bag of pot he was using in a dog training exercise.  Japanese customs regulations say that trainers must use fake bags for the purposes of training dogs to sniff out drugs and bombs and other items.  Instead of using a fake training bag, the agent used a real passenger’s bag and put the pot inside.  The dog could not find the pot, and somehow the agent couldn’t remember which bag he put it in.  Because all the bags were scheduled to depart, he had to let it go.

Japanese customs agents are asking anyone who finds the bag of pot to return it to authorities immediately.

Uhm, I hope they are not serious.  It could be someone’s lucky day.  Imagine picking up your luggage from baggage claim.  You get to your hotel room or back home, and you open it up and there’s a big ass bag of pot in it!

Hurrah!  It’s my birthday.

R Kelly Trial Suspended
As you all know, America’s favourite R&B singer has been arraigned on 14 counts of child pornography for allegedly humping an underage girl on videotape.  If he is convicted, he can spend 15 years in prison.

But the trial, right now, has been put on hold again.  A new witness has come forward claiming to have information that can discredit something another witness said.  So far, in this twisted ass case, R Kelly claims, “That ain’t me!” on the tape and the girl said, “That ain’t me either!”

All her friends who have seen the tape say, “Yeah, that’s the hoe!”  The press has not released what this new witness will have to say.  We don’t know if the witness is for the defense or for the prosecution.

But my thing about the whole situation is if the alleged victim says it isn’t her, then why is he on trial?  If there’s no complaining witness, you don’t really have a case.  Perhaps the prosecution is stating, “Well, it might not be her specifically, but this is a young girl,” in which case they will still be able to prosecute him for child pornography.

Who knows what is going to happen to him.  Right now, he is still putting out albums and he is still making money.  I guess R Kelly is trying to stack up paper so he’ll have something to think about while he’s in jail for the next 15 years.  Nobody will be interested in his Chocolate City then.

The Electric Shower
It’s no big surprise that soldiers in Iraq are dying, but it is rather a surprise that soldiers are dying of electrocution… in their own showers.  Apparently, there has been some kind of ongoing problem with wires and pipes not being properly grounded.

The Army has not released specifically how many soldiers have died in this fashion, but one such case has recently shed light on the whole fiasco.  A green beret (a special forces soldier) was getting in his shower to wash his ass when he turned the water on and was immediately electrocuted.  He died.  He was fried so badly that his hair and skin was burnt.  One of his buddies tried to save him, and he was also electrocuted.

A year before this incident, another soldier was washing a Humvee.  When he turned the water on, he was electrocuted and killed.  In both cases, the wires were not properly grounded causing a current to run through the water.

When the guy with the Humvee died, his mother was told that this was a strange and rare incident.  After the Green Beret died, it was released that more soldiers have died like this and that the Army wasn’t really doing anything about it.  But they only admitted that after they lied to the man’s mother and told her that he died because he had a small appliance in the shower with him.

A contracting firm, KBR, was the one that did the work but no government official ever inspected the work done to see if it was properly taken care of.

Does anybody else see a problem with this?  I mean, soldiers have enough to worry about when they go to Iraq.  Who wants to live in fear trying to wash his balls?  “Is this water going to fry me, or am I going to get to wash my nuts this time?”  This is just crazy.  After the drama about the shitty ass barracks on Fort Bragg, you would think the Army would pay a little bit more attention to where they are shacking up their soldiers.

It is shameful that they lied to these soldiers’ parents about how their sons really died.  A green beret getting in the shower with a small appliance?  That is beyond ridiculous.  If you only knew the shit they have to go through in order to become a green beret.  They don’t just pick any asshole off the street.  They go through intensely riguous training, physically, mentally, everything.  They don’t just get in the shower with a clock radio.  Give the man some credit and tell the truth about how he really died.

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