Daily News June 20

Gas Prices Affect Hoes Too
You wouldn’t think that gas prices would have an effect on prostitutes, but paying for tricks is just like anything else.  If you don’t have the money, then you don’t have the money. 

Nevada is the only state that allows for prostitution.  Ten of its seventeen counties have legalised prostitution (it is illegal in Reno and Las Vegas).  The hoes that work in these counties have stated that ever since the price of gas has gone up, their business has gone down.  Many of the whorehouses in Nevada are out in the country and they cater to long haul truckers, but remember long haul truckers aren’t making much money these days because diesal prices are high.  There are also the truckers who have to buy their own gas; they damn sure don’t have any extra money to spend on ass.

But prostitution is big business in this state, and they run it just like any other business trying to make money.  Many of the whorehouses are offering sales and incentives. 

Here are a few of the offers to be had:

Ass and Gas:  Spend $300 on ass, get $50 in gas; spend $500 on ass, get $100 in gas.
Double Your Stimulus:  If you bring your stimulus check, you can get double for your money.
Frequent Flier:  The more ass you buy, the more ass you get. 

The high gas prices have also increased the number of hoes.  Women who usually do escort services and stripping are finding business hard and money tight, so they are turning to the whorehouses for extra cash.

A 40 year old single mom down in Florida has been trying to sell her house for about a year now.  She’s also been looking for a new man in her life.  She couldn’t find a buyer and she couldn’t find a man, so she decided to put the two together and see what she comes up with.

This lady has put her house up for sale, along with the promise of marriage.  She put an ad up on Craig’s List and Ebay, offering to marry whomever buys her house.  You can get both for about $500,000.

The woman said that she has had many responses, but most are not serious.  A lot of people are actually giving her encouragement for this wild-ass scheme, but her daughters say she is an embarrassment.  The oldest daughter wants her mom to find love but not by putting her ass for sale on Craig’s List, and the younger daughter said the whole thing is humiliating.

In other weird, ebay-type news.  This man down in Australia was so depressed after his divorce that he decided to sell his entire life, including his house, his job, his friends and all his worldly possessions.

Some of the responses he’s gotten:  “You don’t even want your life, why would anybody else want it?” and “Who would want to buy your fucked up life?”

If anybody is interested in a ready-made family, house included contact this woman down in Florida.  If you want a ready-made life complete with shitty friends, an ex-wife who hates you and a thankless job, the man down in Australia has an offer you can’t refuse.


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