Daily News July 29

Death to Fast Food
Apparently, fast food is on its way out with a growing number of U.S. cities either banning fast food restaurants or limiting the number allowed within city limits.  I guess the United States is tired of being labeled the obese nation and is finally doing something about all us fat asses taking up space.

Recently, in New York, a law was passed requiring all chain restaurants to post the number of calories in each menu item in the same size font as the price.  Now customers can be aware that a Venti caramel frappuccino from Starbucks costs $3.69 and has 380 calories. 

Some people are realizing their supposed low fat options are not really low in calorie.  One lady said she was disturbed to find out that TGIFriday’s Jack Daniel’s Steak and Shrimp had more than 1000 calories in it.  Yeah, you know you’re really only allotted 2000 calories a day if you keep a moderately active lifestyle.  Less calories, if you don’t do shit.  More calories if you are very active.  For those of you who like Outback, be aware that their cheese fries has more than 2000 calories in it.  Applebee’s low-fat chicken quesadillas have 700 calories and 90 grams of carbs.  Take that, South Beach Diet!  Burger King still has trans fat in its food and for those of you who keep kosher or halal know that they fry their French toast sticks in the same oil as pork sausage and everything else, all of which has high levels of trans fat.

At any rate, in Los Angeles, the city wants to ban fast food restaurants from low income and poor neighbourhoods because fast fattening food is the only option in the ‘hood and a lot of the people are doing nothing but getting fat and contracting other serious health problems.  In most of those neighbourhoods there are no sit down restaurants, no quality grocery stores and no produce markets for people to make healthier choices if they wanted to.  Los Angeles thinks by banning fast food this will encourage other types of restaurants to move in, but opponents say if they weren’t there in the first place, they aren’t interested since low income neighbourhoods also can be high crime neighbourhoods.  Chez Marche isn’t trying to get robbed on a nightly basis, is pretty much what he is saying.

Because of all these new changes and limitations on fast food restaurants, most like McDonald’s and Burger King are doing their best to offer healthier options like providing salads and apples for kids’ meals instead of French fries. 

I don’t believe that the restaurants should be responsible for people making healthy choices, but I do believe that we should be given all the information possible so that we can make healthy choices.  It was smart to make restaurants provide caloric information.  A lot of things I thought were “healthy” actually weren’t.  Some people are under the impression that just because it says low fat it means it’s good for you.  What about sodium, sugar, carbs, fat and everything else? 

But seriously, I think Americans need to exercise more and that will help lower most of our health problems, and then if you exercise more, you might not have to worry about all the favourite foods we like to eat.  Nobody wants to be calculating calories all damn day long, but if you got off your lazy ass every now and again, you might not have to worry about it.

Buried Treasure
A Texas man with bizarre banking habits is being looked at after the federal government decided that he was up to no good.  Every now and again the man would show up with old, beat up money that looked like it had either been wet for a long period of time or buried someplace for a long period of time.

He wouldn’t just come up with a couple dollars either.  He would show up with millions and ask to trade the money in for a cashier’s check.  Banks say that stuff like this does happen sometimes when there has been a flood or a fire at a bank, but most of the time, regular ole people don’t just come in off the street with a couple million of old, dirty money.

Then, the man made himself look suspicious with the cockamamie stories he would come up with as to why he had that amount of money.  First, it was an inheritance, then it was buried treasure, then somebody supposedly found it in a field or a farm.  He would take a small amount of money and go to different banks all around El Paso, which raised red flags, instead of coming to just one bank.

When the authorities questioned him about the money, he would change his story.  They would say, “You’re changing your story, you just said someone gave it to you,” and he would be like, “No, I didn’t.” Basically, his lies would change from one minute to the next in the same conversation.  Or he wouldn’t answer the question at all, just stand there like he didn’t hear anything.

Reporters started calling around to his family members.  First they claimed they didn’t speak English.  When a Spanish speaking reporter would call, then they would claim they couldn’t hear.  Which is it?  You don’t speak English or are you deaf?

Authorities think the money is drug money, but they don’t think the man is a drug dealer.  They think he found the drug money buried somewhere and is afraid that the US would trace it back to a known drug dealer. 

All in all, the man has deposited more than $6 million but the U.S. Treasury has claimed the money for now until they do a full investigation.

Hahaha.  Just when you think you got something, someone is waiting on the sidelines to get a cut.  What he should have did was take it all to the bank at once and claim that his grandparents had been stockpiling money because they were afraid to use banks.  Be like, “Yeah, my grandparents never spent any money and liked to live very frugally in case of hard times.  I didn’t even know the money was there until we started cleaning up the house.” Or something like that.  That’s believable.  People who grew up during the Great Depression did that because banks were failing all the time and people were losing all their money. 

Or I would have went to some foreign country where the laws aren’t so strict and then changed all the money to a foreign currency and then changed it back to American dollars.  You’re going to lose a little because the American dollar is weak right now, but it’s better than having nothing at all.

Sorry about your luck!


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