Daily News August 31

Murder by Fat

A 1000 pound woman in Texas is being charged in the death of her 2 year old nephew.  Authorities allege that the boy was beaten over the head with a blunt object and died from his wounds. 

The mother of the boy doesn’t believe her sister intentionally hurt the boy, but perhaps may have rolled over onto him causing his death.  Except that the boy was obviously killed by blunt force trauma to the head, and not suffocation. 

If she is found guilty, the aunt faces a life sentence and $10000 in fines.  Her defense is that she is too fat to have killed the boy.  Weighing more than a thousand pounds, shei s completely bedridden and has very limited mobility.  Her attorney states that it would have been impossible for her to garner the strength to kill the boy.  Right now she is under house arrest because she is too fat for state facilities, and the state cannot provide adequate medical care.

She has to wear a GPS tracker, because when you weigh 1000 pounds, you’re always a flight risk.  I hope you noted my sarcasm.  Whose bus, plane or train is she catching?  The airlines will charge her for the entire row, if she could even get through security and onto the plane.  So what if they find her guilty?  Are they going to have to build something large enough to cage her?  They could always rent out the elephant pen at the zoo.
Snake Charmer
After a man was bitten by a poisonous snake, it was revealed that he was keeping 50 other such poisonous snakes in his apartment illegally.  The man, living in Tokyo, was bit on the finger by a mamba while trying to feed it and had to spend several weeks in the hospital on his death bed.  He eventually recovered only to be arrested by Tokyo authorities.  The man kept 51 mambas and cobras in the apartment, and one of them was 6 feet long.

I don’t really have any problem with snakes.  I like snakes, but I guess I kind of drawn the line at 51 POISONOUS snakes swirling around my apartment in the middle of the night.

Sentenced to Die
A repeated sex offender is finally being sentenced to death after he kidnapped, tortured and eventually murdered a 9 year old boy in Idaho.  He videotaped his actions and was caught after the boy’s sister, who also was kidnapped, escaped. 

The man, Joseph Edward Duncan, killed the mother, her boyfriend, and her oldest child by beating them in the head with a hammer after stalking them, and kidnapped the two younger children, a boy aged 9 and a girl aged 8.  He took them out to the woods and raped, tortured and terrified them before he shot the boy point blank in the head.  He burned the body of the little boy but he stated that he did not kill the little girl because “she didn’t judge him.”  A waitress spotted the little girl and the killer in a restaurant and notified authorities. 

Duncan stated that he was glad that he got to destroy the innocence of the jurors because they had to watch the video footage of him brutalizing the children.  He said, “Thank you for that.”  After the jurors voted guilty unanimously, they were dismissed and a judge sentenced him to death.

But not before he can stand trial for the death of a young kid in California.  He also admitted to killing two sisters from Seattle (for which he was never caught).  But what is truly crazy is that this man had already served time for raping a boy at gunpoint.  As the prosecution stated he clearly exhibited a life-long “pattern of violence,” and why this man was free walking around on the streets to stalk and kill almost an entire family, it is beyond me.  Then he had the nerve to smile when the judge sentenced him.  Clearly, there is a problem here.

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