Daily News October 29

Extra Spicy

A California couple got a little extra kick to the tacos they ordered from a Del Taco restaurant.  When they got home, they found that the tacos they had ordered were covered in marijuana.  Like good law-abiding citizens, they returned the tacos to the restaurant.  The manager found the employee who had served the couple and after some questioning, he did admit that the marijuana was his and that it must have fallen out of his shirt pocket when he was making their tacos.  After searching his locker, the manager found more marijuana and fired the guy.


Aww, he lost his weed and his job.  Speaking of spicy toppings…


I Scream, You Scream For …. Shit Cream?

In Australia, a family of five is suing a restaurant after the chef allegedly put frozen shit in their gelato.  The family was sitting down to dinner but they were complaining about the loud music in the restaurant while the family was trying to watch a televised football match (that would be soccer, not American football).  At any rate, the family was complaining so much that the manager offered them chocolate gelato.  Gelato is kind of like ice cream, but not really.


The mother and father ate the gelato and became immediately sick.  The woman said she could smell shit almost immediately and she spit it out into her napkin, but she was still stick.  The manager and the chef claim they have no idea how this could have happened and state that they will take DNA tests to at least prove the shit is not theirs.  Investigation shows that the original tub of chocolate gelato was not tainted.  The restaurant owners are claiming the family is out to get money.


So, I have a problem with this.  The woman said she could smell shit.  Who eats stuff that smells like shit?  A lot of people are very sensitive when it comes to how their food smells.  I don’t know too many people who will say, “Yeah, this smells like straight up dooky, but I’m going to eat it anyway.”  We might eat something that looks terrible, but most of us cannot get past the smell.  I think this needs serious investigation.


Legalised Kiddie Porn

England will now require kindergarterners to learn sex education.  England has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the European Union, and legislators have decided they have to start early to teach kids responsible sexual decisions.  The government is insisting that kids won’t be learning about sex, but learning about their feelings and the differences between boys and girls.  The sex education curriculum will be tailored to meet the needs of the community in which the schools are, for example if the area is very religious and conserative, the children probably won’t be shown porn…. okay, that was a little over the top, but you unerstand what I mean.


The United States does not have a national curriculum on sex education.  It is up to each county of each state to decide what their students learn, which is why some of us learned sex ed in 6th grade and the rest of us made it up as we went along until 9th grade.  Along with England, the United States has a very high teen pregnancy rate. 


I know people are like, “what about abstinence.”  And that is very important, but the truth is, you teach your kids one thing and they go out and do what they want.  Unless you have them chained up in the basement, parents, no matter what they wish their kids would do, should do their best to arm their children with the best information so they can make the decisions the parents want them to make.  Telling your kid not to have sex until s/he is married is about the stupidest thing a parent can do. 


A lot of parents get mad when the schools start handing out condoms.  Well, think about it, the kids are in school 6-8 hours a day and mommy and daddy are at work, and who knows what the fuck Junior is doing.  He is not at home abstaining.  Since mommy and daddy have their head in the clouds, the school is at least showing some responsibility because they have already figured out that Junior is out humping. 


Parents’ stupidity and their wishful thinking is the reason why we have abandoned babies, abortion, teen suicide, unwed teen mothers and deadbeat daddies.  You tell the kids that having sex before marriage is wrong.  Tell the kid that having a baby in high school is wrong.  Yeah, I agree, but you have to tell the kid why it’s wrong and what to do to avoid all of this if possible.  When they cannot or will not make the decision you want them to make, arm them with some sense so they don’t get themselves in trouble. 


Little Susy, whose parents are super Catholic and told her that abortion is a sin and having sex before marriage is a sin and having a baby outside of wedlock is a sin, is going out to some witch doctor to stick a coat hanger up her snatch to get rid of a baby.  Is that what you really want for your kid?  Sometimes parents don’t look at the big picture. 


I told my co-worker that I was pro-life/choice.  He asked me what that meant.  I don’t really believe in abortion. It’s not something I would choose to do for myself, and if someone I know wanted an abortion I would try my hardest to find other options for them before they made that final plunge. 


In the end though, having an abortion is a personal decision.  I’m not taking care of the kid you don’t want, and I don’t want my tax dollars taking care of all the kids that wind up in orphanages because nobody wanted them in the first place, or were taken away from their parents because they were being abused and neglected. 


People always say dumb things like, “You’ll feel differently when you have your own kids,” but what about all the scared teen girls and cracked out junkies who abuse their own children?  What about all the babies found in trash cans?  What about the couple who microwaved their baby?  What about the high school kids who dumped their baby in the garbage and then went to the prom?  I guess they missed the memo.


If you armed these people with common sense, teaching them about birth control, teach them how to love themselves, teach them how to choose a sexual partner carefully instead of just humping whatever guy or girl shows up on their door step, teach them the beauty of marriage by providing an excellent example, or teach them not to be ashamed of whatever feelings they have so they can ask their parents for birth control or condoms or whatever then maybe all these girls wouldn’t make decisions to have abortions because they wouldn’t be in a position to have to make such a decision.  But people don’t think about that. 


They’re in a small little world thinking about “precious life” which is precious, but are you going to take care of a crack addicted newborn?  What if someone just showed up on your doorstep and said, “Yeah, I don’t want my kid but since abortion is illegal and you’re pro-life, can you take care of him?  Thanks!” 


Look at all the people abandoning their kids in Nebraska because of the new safe haven law.  But you want to take away people’s right to choose!


And this is why our country is doomed to failure. 


Okay, I guess I’m going to get off my soap box now. 



Don’t forget to vote November 4, 2008 if you’re so inclined.

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