Daily News November 10

Kiddie Killer
An 8 year old boy from Arizona has been charged with murder after allegedly confessing to the shooting death of his father and his father’s friend.  The boy apparently shot them both with a .22 caliber handgun, then went to a neighbour’s house.  The neighbour called police who arrived to find both grown men dead at the scene.

The boy has been arraigned and is currently being held in a detention facility.  He is technically out on remand, but there is no adult to send him home to.  The boy’s stepmother said she didn’t want him, and his real mother hasn’t come forward.  The police are not giving a motive and has issued a gag order concerning the whole situation.  The boy’s attorney states that they do not believe the boy did the shooting and that police interview techniques were probably so heavy-handed that the boy was scared into saying something he didn’t even do.

I wish they would say what the motives were.  No one can even speculate as to what might have happened because we don’t know why the police think the boy did it.  People don’t just shoot people for shits’n’giggles.  They are either crazy or they have a reason for wanting to kill someone.  Maybe the boy is seriously fucked up, watching too much TV or whatever.  Maybe he was being abused and he was tired of it.  Maybe it was an accident, but it’s unlikely that you would shoot TWO people accidentally.  Maybe he feared for his life.  I don’t even know.  But eight years old though?  That’s crazy.  Arizona is a death penalty state but the statute does not allow for persons under the age of 18 to be executed.  But the boy could go away for life if he’s found guilty.  They don’t say whether they are going to try him as an adult or not.  I wish I could get to the bottom of this.

Do You Take Paper or Plastic?
An Oklahoma man was arrested after he tried to pay his bar tab with gum wrappers.  He was in a bar having a drink and playing a game of pool when he knocked his beer onto the pool table.  He was asked to pay his tab and leave.  He gave the bartender a credit card but it was declined.  He then tried to leave without paying, but the bartender called the police who arrived immediately.  The police told the man to pay his tab and the man was like, “Fine!”  He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of gum wrappers and started counting it out like it was dollar bills.  The police told him to get serious and then they started fighting.

Gum wrappers?  Shit, if that really worked, I’d be one rich ass bitch.  Go to Costco get  a couple of those big ass economy family packs of gum that has like 5000 sticks of gum in it, and then go to Neiman Marcus and buy their entire winter line.  Hahaha.  What a jackass.

Ain’t Nothing Worse Than Waking Up Next to a Pig
Two men in Hungary were arrested after they were stopped during a routine traffick check.  The police stopped them at a checkpoint and found 12 pigs weighing about 60 pounds each stuffed into the back of their minivan.  The pigs were stuffed pretty tightly and they could hardly move.  They were stolen from a farm up the road where 35 other pigs had gone missing.

I’m not even going to speculate what these men were doing with 12 pigs.  I’d like to think that maybe they were hungry, trying to save their starving family, but then, you know, there’s so much weirdness in the world… who even knows what the fuck they were doing with pigs.

Double Drunk, Double Tap
A Pennsylvania man has been arrested TWICE, for TWO DUIs that occurred in the SAME DAY.  The first DUI occurred around 11 am.  He was drunk and ran into the back of a stopped car.  He was arrested and released after he was processed.  His girlfriend came to pick him up, and somewhere along the way he managed to get drunk again.  Around 4pm, that same day, he cut in front of another car to make a left turn and caused another accident. 

Fortunately, the second time, they did decide to just go ahead and lock his ass up.  How the fuck do you get two DUIs in one day?  I mean, come on now.  After the first one, he had a chance to sober up, but instead he got trashed again and got back on the road.  What a fucking genius. 

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