Daily News November 13

You Made What For Dinner?
A man from Nebraska has been arrested for assaulting his girlfriend after she made him macaroni for dinner.  Apparently, he sat down at the table and said, “Hey honey, what’s for dinner?”  When the girlfriend said, “Macaroni and cheese,” he flipped out and snatched the pot up and started beating her with it and flinging the macaroni all over the house.  The woman suffered some minor cuts and burns from the pot and the man was arrested.

Bitch.  Didn’t. I.  Tell.  You.  No.  More.  Macaroni.  And.  Cheese.  See, some hoes just don’t listen.

Depressed? Get Naked!
An Australian resort will be offering a nude anything goes party in March for those that are depressed about the economy.  Naturally, there is some opposition.  The Catholic church wonders what sort of men and women would attend such a party (as if they doesn’t know) and wonders about the morals of these people and what will happen if certain jealousies occur.  The mayor of the town says that desperate times call for desperate measures, and as long as everyone is a consenting adult and there are no broken laws, she doesn’t mind.  That’s because her ass is going to be at the party too!

A nude anything goes party for economic depression.  Wow.  Anybody want to go to Australia?

Depressed?  Blow Something Up
A German boy has been arrested on murder, attempted murder, and greivous bodily injury charges after he tried to kill himself when his girlfriend dumped him.  Murder, you ask?  Apparently, this man, who is 22, was dating a 17 year old girl and she dumped him over the phone.  So he went into his kitchen and turned the gas on, intending to asphyxiate himself on the fumes.  The gas leaked out, and while he got a little bit groggy he didn’t die.  The girlfriend came over to get her stuff and lit up a cigarette.  BOOM!  Half the apartment building was destroyed, killing a neighbour and seriously injuring several people, including the boy and the girlfriend. 

See how girls get you fucked up?  She lit the cigarrete, but he is the one going to jail.  He said he didn’t even think about an explosion

Fat Prisoners Get Shorter Jail Times
A fat Canadian prisoner has been released after only doing 25 months of the 5 years he was supposed to do for drug charges.  The prisoner was so fat that he could not sit on the chair in his cell, nor could he lay in his bed properly.  The warden stated that when he laid down 6 inches of his body hung off the side of the bed.  The prison could not properly take care of him, and they tried to transfer him to two other prisons but both said they did not want him.  So they just released him. 

Because that makes a whole lot of sense.  Yeah, I know that civilised first world countries give rights to prisoners, even felons, and you can’t make somebody medicate  no matter what, but releasing him because he is fat?  That’s ridiculous.  I guess they figure he is so fat that he is not a threat to anybody, but if he managed to sell drugs and all that while being a fat ass, then he still can continue to do those things now after his release.  He didn’t even do the time he was supposed to do.  So what’s to stop other prisoners from just getting chunked up a bit so they can get out too? 

The prison said it was too cruel to keep him when they could not adequately care for him.  That should not be their concern.  They put Alzheimer’s patients in jail, Down’s Syndrome people, Parkinsons and all those diseases that are uncomfortable that only usually end in death after years of intense pain and suffering.  A lot prisons are not equipped to handle all of that, but they still jail those people.  Being fat is not an excuse!  Just look at those fat rights people who claim that they can lead any life they want.  Shame on Canada, but then again, everything sucks in Canada.

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