Daily News December 2

The Hunter Is Now the Hunted
A Montana man was out hunting on the second day of hunting season up in Montana, and after firing two rounds from his rifle, he shot down a 240 pound deer.  The deer fell to the ground, and the man went to the deer to do whatever it is you do after you’ve killed an animal.  But suddenly, the deer was not dead and it jumped up and started attacking the man before running off into the wilderness.  The man was able to find the deer again and shoot him and kill him, but not until he noticed that the deer had put a big gash in his head.  He had to receive seven staples in his scalp.

Hahaha.  Hunting is so lame anyway, and I’m glad Bambi kicked his ass.  It’s too bad he had to die though.  You can’t leave an injured animal out there like that, so the man did do the right thing by going to find him and bringing him down.  Almost all states have specific laws about hunting.  You can’t just go up to the woods and start shooting at shit.  Has to be a certain type of weapon and you can only kill so much and blah blah blah.  Whatever.  Hunting is so stupid.  If animals could hunt us, we’d try to pass a law as fast as we could, “No hunting allowed!”

Ant-Man Executed
A conman in China lied to his investors by telling them he was breeding a rare form of ant to make aphrodisiacs, liqours and herbal remedies.  He told his investors that by investing with him they would get a return of about 60%.  He was able to con his investors to the tune of about $439 million.  One of his investors committed suicide and some of them became clinically depressed.

The conman was executed last Wednesday.

See how China don’t be playing?  In the United States you can only be executed for violent crime like rape, murder, somebody getting killed during the commission of a burglary or robbery or some such, kidnapping, treason, stuff like that.  People do not get executed for cheating other people out their money, but apparently in China, it’s not a game.  Just like they will execute the people who sold the tainted milk that got those babies sick.  Just like they executed the people who built that school with bad building materials and it collapsed killing all those school children.  I know China is not a democracy or whatever, but really, they have the right idea.  They are letting people know that if you mess up even a little bit, they will shoot you and charge your family for the bullet!

The Not-So High Speed Chase
A 54 year old grandmother in Taiwan was held at gunpoint by a police officer after he pulled her over … on her scooter for not wearing a helmet.  Grandma was riding down the street when a police officer spotted her that she wasn’t wearing a helmet.  He pulled her over, and then he claimed that she was trying to get away so he pulled his gun out and threatened to shoot her.  Grandma had on a hat but not a helmet, which is a violation of China-Taiwan law.

Once again, they are not playing in China.  The police officer stated that shooting someone who will not stop for the police is not an extreme act, no matter what is the suspect is accused of doing.  In this case, not wearing her helmet.  It’s not like Grandma was suspected of drug running or holding some kid hostage.  He said she wouldn’t stop, but I’m wondering how far Grandma was going to get on her scooter and he was in a police cruiser.  I mean, let’s get real now.  But China ain’t playing.  I’m telling you.  You better get right.

A Mockery of the Court
In another one of those strict Asian countries (Singapore), three people were jailed for wearing t-shirts that depicted kangaroos wearing judges’ robes.  The people came to the court dressed like that to protest the arrest of two of their friends who had been speaking out against the prime minister.  In Singapore, it is against the law to have any sort of public debate or protest without a permit.  The judge said the the kangaroo t-shirts made a mockery of the judicial system.  Apparently, there is no freedom of speech in Singapore.

I think today’s lesson is that we should all be thankful we live in America, no matter what kind of ups and downs we go through.  At least we are free to wear a kangaroo t-shirt if we want.  God Bless America.

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