Daily News December 17

After All This Time
Twenty-seven years after a boy was kidnapped and murdered, after a family was destroyed, after a dozen mistakes were made by the police, an unsolved mystery has been closed.  Adam Walsh, then six years old, was kidnapped from a mall.  His cut-off head was found two days later, but the body was never recovered.  Some wayward drifter was caught and he confessed, but then he claimed he didn’t do it.  The police made huge mistakes, including losing huge evidence and DNA that would have officially connected the killer with the crime.  Now they have connected all the pieces of the puzzle and know the boy’s killer.  Thankfully, the psycho is now in hell, and the family is ready to move on to the next stage in healing.

Forty-Eight Minutes Later
A 21 year old college student in New York called the police after a man broke into her apartment and began assaulting her.  By the evidence obtained in the apartment, the man beat her and stabbed her several times.  She was able to place a call to 911, but apparently the operator couldn’t hear or something.  Police did not arrive to the apartment until 48 minutes later after her fiance had come home and found her dead.  The 911 operator said that she couldn’t hear anything and that nothing in the backward indicated that there was an emergency.  A review of the tape revealed sounds of a struggle, things banging around and muffled noises, maybe like groans or moaning.  The operator disconnected the call and the fiance came home a little while later to find the girl dead.  The sad thing is that even though the killer got away, she wasn’t dead immediately.  She might have been saved if the police had showed up in a more timely fashion.

The sad truth is that the woman was white.  Perhaps she didn’t sound white enough for the police to hurry out to her place.  That is why I always practise my white voice when talking on the phone.  In case I ever need help, I know nobody might be interested in a little nappy headed black girl, but when I hit them with the, [insert Tiny Tim voice here] “Please, sir, might I have some more bread,” they’ll come running.

Death and Dollars
The crappy economy has affected how Americans do everything in this country.  Gas got too high so people stopped travelling as much, no unnecessary trips.  Airfares are out of control so people aren’t going on as much vacation.  Food prices are high, so people are eating generic and not eating out as much.  Now, in a morbid attempt at saving money, some people are deciding to scale down funeral services for their loved ones, sell off family burial plots and even cremation instead of traditional burial because it’s cheaper.  Think about it, times are hard.  Granny just kicked the bucket.  Spend up to $10,000 for an ornate, extravagant casket or put Granny in a plain wooden box that only costs $400?  Or should we just cremate granny because not only do we have to pay for the casket, but the ground that you put her in and the entire funeral service with flowers.  Some people are already skipping the flowers and the ride in the limousine.  Even Granny herself is selling off her own burial plot.  One lady in Michigan said she was trying to make sure she had enough money and sold the family plot she had where she had intended to be buried next to her parents.  She got $4000 for that piece of land.

I guess times really are hard, when you put Granny in a shoebox and bury her outback like a damn goldfish.

Holy Mary, Mother of God!
Playboy Mexico has done the outrageous by posing a nude model as the Virgin Mary.  A model appears naked on the cover, wearing only a shawl over her head like the Virgin usually appears in most depictions.  A headline below her reads:  Te adoramos, Maria [We love you, Mary].  Naturally, here we are, a week before Christmas and all the Christians and Catholics are about to shit themselves over this blasphemy.  Even more outrageous is that this issue of Playboy hit newsstands in Mexico one day before the Festival celebrating the Virgin Mary, and you know, most Mexicans are Catholic.  Playboy Mexico stated that there wasn’t any intention of having the cover look like the Virgin Mary.  They said they were going for a more Renaissance theme.  Playboy USA issued an apology, expressing outrage that such thing could happen at all, especially during the Christmas season.

Take a look at the photo.  What do you think?

Personally, I found it to be morally repugnant to show a religious icon in this fashion.  Of course, I am neither Christian nor Catholic, but that doesn’t have anything to do with anything.  People are very particular about their religions, and it’s always something very personal.  People see the degradation of their religious figures as personal attacks.  Playboy Mexico should have been a little more thoughtful of how this might be perceived.  Yeah, Playboy readers probably don’t give a damn, but I bet there are a few who don’t mind skin mags, but will still be affronted by this blasphemous display.


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