The Waning Days of 2008: Last Year’s Resolutions

Every year I make resolutions, and always I try to keep track of them, chart my progress to see if I’m actually doing what I said I’m going to do.  I think this year I kind of fell off the track because I was on some other shit, letting things distract me from what I needed to do.

I wouldn’t say that 2008 was a bad year.  No, any year that you make it out alive, that’s a good year in my book.

So let me see how I did.  What did I accomplish?  What did I fail?

Resolution 1:  Stay Healthy
I said I would eat right, exercise, get my next belt in TKD, and run a half marathon.

What did I actually do?  I did stay eating right.  I lost some weight, gained some back, but overall, I am in a good place.  Exercise?  Hell  yeah, that’s all I ever do.  Eat, sleep, shit and exercise.  Oh, yeah, and cuss people out on the internet.  Did I run that half marathon?  Hahahah.  That’s a laugh.  I didn’t even do a 3K.

But since I am not a big pig beast, we’ll say that I accomplished this resolution.

Resolution 2:  Stay attractive
I said I would upgrade my pathetic wardrobe from 2007.  I also said I’d keep my hair done.

What did I actually do?  I did upgrade my wardrobe, and then some!  It’s nice having some money, not crying like a jackass in front of everybody like I was in 2007.  I spent quite a shit ton in clothes this year.  I bought so many clothes that I didn’t have enough hangers, so for like 3 months, all my clothes were sitting on my lazy chair because there was no where to put them.  You know, I just finally bought some hangers like three days ago.

I am keeping my hair done, thanks to all the Chinese hair stores on my block.  Yeah, there have been a few days when I just woke up and went like I usually do.  I even dedicated a whole myspace photo album to my bed head.

Did I accomplish this?  Hell yeah, I did.

Resolution 3:  Start my Master’s programme.
I said I was bullshitting too much.  I even talked about the road to money being paved with knowledge.

Did I accomplish this:  Not at all.  When I finished my last class, my brain shut down.  Total failure.

Resolution 4:  Network.
I said I needed to expand my  horizons.  Meet new people.  Stop being anti-social and hanging out by myself.

I don’t think I really achieved this.  I met some new people, but I’m still very anti-social, especially now that I have shot myself in my own foot by alienating myself from everyone I knew.  Even if they didn’t really like me, and I didn’t really like them, it at least gave me something to do.  Now… well, now I get to hang out by myself even more.

Total failure.

Resolution 5:  Stop cursing.
Before I even make up an excuse… total failure.  My whole family curses.  My parents, my sister and brother, even my grandmother had a dirty mouth.  I need to stop trying to achieve this and just accept that my mouth is a toilet.

Resolution 6:  Pay down debt.
Accomplished!  No more credit card debt.  No more stupid debts like old phone bills and bullshit like that.  I paid my dad back all the money I owed him.  I don’t owe anybody else, except these extravagant student loans and my car note.  That’s getting blasted this year.

Okay, so it looks like I’m a fifty per cent failure this year.  I’m a person who believes in the glass being half empty.

This year I really let myself get caught up in a lot of dumb things.  These things sidetracked me from what is most important and next year, I must really resolve to not let that happen to me again.  I spent three months this year losing my mind over a lot of stuff that really shouldn’t even been thought about.  Social relationships, family relationships, lack of a love relationship.  I spent so much time thinking about all the wrong things that I didn’t even consider the right things.

2008 was a year for an epiphany for me.  I had a week of total psychosis this summer, and then one day I woke up, did something REALLY dumb.  The next day after doing that stupid thing, I woke up and realised just what I needed to do.

It was a painful lesson, and I’m still reeling from the effects, but that is all apart of the growing pains of life.  You can either sit and take it in the ass or you can just … do what you have to do.

Nobody ever said this shit would be easy.  Nobody can tell you either.

I just wish that someone would have told me.


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