Daily News January 29

Google Marijuana
Swiss police officers were using Google Earth to find two suspected marijuana dealers stumbled across a 2 acre marijuana farm hidden inside a corn field.  Police swarmed in on the farmers, arresting 16 suspects and confiscated 1.2 TONS of marijuana.  Not kilos.  TONS.  Just so you understand.  The gang of marijuana farmers produced about $2-8 million worth of weed every year. 

I guess they weren’t worried about the economy.  That’s a lot of weed.  I’m sure Google is about to get some hate mail from them after they go to jail on drug trafficking charges.  Possession is one thing.  Possession with intent to distribute is another.  Trafficking, well, that’s something else entirely.  Sorry ’bout your luck.  I wonder what the police are about to do with all that weed.

Fire Station Burns Down
A Japanese fire man was in the fire house cooking dinner with the alarm bell sounded, sending him out to put out a fire in the city.  He was in such a rush to answer the call that he forgot to turn off the stove.  The stove caught fire and the fire station burned to the ground.  Since all the firefighters were out doing their job, they weren’t around to put out their fire.  Firefighters from another station clear across town had to respond.  By the time they got there, the fire house was destroyed.

Sad.  How are you a firefighter and you accidently set fire to some shit?  You should be fired.  Hahah.  No pun intended.

Horsing While Intoxicated
A man Wyoming man has been arrested for riding a horse while drunk.  During this week’s snowstorm that swept across much of the midwest and northeast, there were whiteout conditions in many places.  The man was riding around on a WHITE horse in the blizzard.  Drivers called the police because several of them almost ran him over because they could not see his white horse in the white snow.  The drivers said he was out there just chilling, slowly trotting down the street on his horse.

See, this is why I don’t drink.  It makes you do stupid shit.  Drinking and driving is bad enough, but what makes you want to go out in sub-zero temperatures, in the middle of a blizzard on a horse in the first place?  I mean, who does that?  Let’s get trashed and go horseback riding.  Is that what people think of when they are drunk?  Horseback riding?  In a snowstorm. 

Revenge:  A Dish Best Served Cold
Three New Jersey women are under arrest after they decided to get back at their friend over an insurance claim (or a man, depending on whose story you believe).  The three women told their friend that they were going to a rap concert and if she wanted to come along.  The woman got dressed in a skanky, short outfit and high heels.  Instead of going to a rap concert, the three women drove out to a rural area in the middle of the woods, dragged the girl out by her hair and left here there.  The temperature was EIGHT DEGREES.

She walked down the street until someone stopped and let her use his phone, but would not give her a ride.  Instead of calling the police, like a dummy, she called the three girls who abandoned her.  They did not come to pick her up.  Another passer-by stopped and took her to a hospital where she is being treated for frostbite to her feet.  She had lost one of her shoes during the struggle as they dragged her from the car.

The three women were arrested.  Two of the girls claim they did it because she had cheated them in an insurance claim following an accident.  The other girl said she didn’t even know what was going on, and they didn’t do it because of an accident but because of a man.  The story of insurance or a man is not fully described.  Apparently, the three women had been planning on getting back at this woman for a month.  Detailing to the last second what they were going to do.  They even waited for the cold to get serious before they did it.

That is some fucked up shit.  See what happens when you push people to the limit?  I mean, can you imagine your girlfriends call you up.  “Yeah, girl, we’re going to a party,” and then they leave your ass out in the woods somewhere, half naked and it’s like 3 degrees outside?  Just think of how cold it was last week.  That wasn’t even single digits.  That was in the teens.  So 8 degrees?  In a skanky party dress and no shoes on? 

When you fuck with the wrong people this is the type of shit that happens.  Whether it was a man or some money from an insurance claim, people take that shit seriously.  They showed a picture of one of the girls.  She looked like a rough ass bitch to me.  They always say that revenge is a dish best served cold.  I wonder how many toes she had to get amputated from frostbite.  That’s some cold ass shit.  Again, no pun intended.

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