Daily News February 15

I’m With the Band
A homeless man in Tampa managed to convince some random woman that he was a member of the band Foreigner.  He told her his name was Cory James and that he was the drummer.  Apparently, they got real cool and the this supposed drummer convinced a valet driver at the hotel the woman was staying at to loan him her Corvette.  Then the homeless got into the car and drove off, crashed it and ran away. 

I’m going to need people not to be so gullible.  Okay, he’s a homeless man, so he probably doesn’t look that great, so he’s probably not a drummer from a way-famous band.  Then, I’m also going to need the valet not to give away this woman’s car.  Even if they were friends, unless she said, “Yeah, he can hold my car,” you really give away other people’s property… especially Corvettes.  Yeah.

Exercised to Death
A woman has been convicted in the murder of her husband after she apparently made him exercise to death.  The husband was 73 years old and it was all caught on tape how she made him get into the pool and swim around for hours.  The police counted HUNDREDS of times where the man begged to rest and the woman refused to do so.  At one point, she was actually dragging him around in the water by his arms and legs.  The man would stop, rest his head on the edge of the pool before she would harass him into swimming again.  The man died of a heart attack.  To make the story even more bizarre, the woman was actually a man who had a sex change.  Because that has everything to do with everything.

So … yeah… he’s obviously not Michael Phelps.  The man is 73 years old and there’s really not much left you can do with that.  If he can’t swim, or he’s too tired, that’s all there is to it.  Why she was trying to make him swim is anybody’s guess.  She’s going to jail now, so … well, there you have it.

Children Having Children
A 13 year old boy from the United Kingdom has sparked controversy after his 12 year old girlfriend recently gave birth.  Unfortunately, he is not the youngest person in the UK to have a kid.  Back in the 90’s that record was set by some 12 year old boy and his 12 year old girlfriend.  Apparently, the boy’s parents allowed him to spend the night at the girl’s house, so both sets of parents are to blame for this travesty.  The father of the boy says he is going to give the kid a talk about the “birds and bees,” which obviously, it’s a little late.  The barely teenaged parents said they will try to do as best they can.  Too bad they are barely in the 8th grade and it’s their equally irresponsible parents who will have to raise the kid.

The UK has the highest teen pregnancy rate of all the European nations, but the US rate is much higher than theirs.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again teaching ONLY abstinence is moronic.  Yes, abstain… please do, especially when you’re 12 years old, but for the kids that are hard headed they need to know things like birth control, condoms and whatnot because let’s face it… kids do whatever the fuck they want to do.  Sex education has to be multi-faceted.  You can’t just teach them to abstain.  You can’t just teach them about condoms.  You also have to include talks about self-image, peer pressure and the reasons kids have sex anyway.  Telling your kids they’re going to go to hell if they have sex is not really a deterrent.  I don’t understand why some parents are just so hard-headed about this.  Think of it as an investment.  When your teenaged daughter gets knocked up because you’ve been babbling on and on about abstinence, and she doesn’t know a condom from a balloon, guess who gets to take care of the kid… YOU DO!  Hahahah.  Think about that.  Sorry ’bout your luck, because I ain’t taking care of nobody’s brat.

For the record, the girl was on birth control but she missed a couple of pills so it was ineffective.  The girl’s parents didn’t really tell her about the mechanics of contraception.  They just said, “here, take these pills.”  So there you go.

Ooops, I Did It Again
So, apparently some Hungarian grandma has been breaking into people’s houses for the better part of 6 decades.  Grandma is now 83 years old and she has been caught … once again… breaking into someone’s house.  She has been arrested and CONVICTED more than 20 times.  Twenty.  The crazy thing is that she would break into someone’s house, steal some shit, then catch a flight out of town.  She did this so much that they called her Flying Gizi.  Now she doesn’t like to fly, instead she takes the train because train rides are free for the elderly.  After being caught, she stated that she was just trying to find some place cheap to stay.

So, apparently, they don’t have a three strikes law in Hungary, because after arresting and CONVICTING someone of the same crime 20 goddamn times, you would think they are NOT getting the clue.  They need to stay in jail.  Grandma isn’t killing anyone, or hurting anyone, and she’s only stealing small petty items, but really… twenty times?  We’re getting out of control here.  She’s 83 years old and still breaking into people’s house, I’m going to say that rehabilitiation is beyond the point.  I don’t know which is worse, letting the person go over and over again to commit the same crime, or making them sign something stating they won’t be a criminal like they do in Yemen.  Either way, I’m not seeing a real deterrent against crime here. 

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