Misadventures of the Village Idiot #25

Let me just begin by giving the Lord a handclap to show my gratitude that I am not so old decrepit ass grandma with bad knees and a bad back, unable to go out and get my life.  I had a great weekend.

Started off well by spending $50 on sushi for dinner.  Mmmm, so yummy.  Afterwards, I went down to Ascension for freak night.  I had a rather enjoyable time.  DJs Liebchen and Neska, two of my scene favourites.  Liebchen because she plays all that new-skool stuff I like and Neska because she always brings the party back to 90s, with all my favourite songs from back when I was young gothling in my first pair of ripped fishnets. 

There was a pretty big crowd that night.  I’m noticing that Ascension’s crowd waxes and wanes.  Sometimes there’s a lot of people, and sometimes there isn’t.  Maybe everyone has their DJ favourites just like I do.  Because of high gas prices, I started coming out only when the good DJs are playing.  Don’t want to waste gas or entry fees on a DJ not worth it.

A lot of young club kids out Friday.  One girl, poor girl, she looked like the bastard child of Rainbow Brite and a Shetland pony.  She had on this rainbow coloured furry vest with matching leg warmer things and a tail.  A tail….. because everything is more fun with a tail. 

These guys tried to talk to me.  I think they just wandered in from the street, not typical goth persons or persons interested in underground culture.  The guy was like, “I just wanted to let you know that you are so beautiful.”  Can you please get your stanky beer breath out of my ear, kay, thanks.

I left a little bit earlier than I normally do because I was just assed out tired for some reason.  I wound up sleeping the entire morning away on Saturday, skipping yoga and aerobics, which is a total no-no for me.

Saturday… Saturday, yeah, slept my life away until it was time to go to Tye’s party.  Her mother was giving a little get-together and I went up there because I hadn’t seen them in awhile, not since Tye’s fete at Windsor Inn.  Whitaker came back on Saturday and it was good of her to come out even though I am sure she was assed out tired from that long ride back from Massachusetts.

Let me just say that Tye’s mother is just… crazy.  She had me dying laughing the whole time.  But seriously, when I grow up I want to be just like her.  This is a lady that doesn’t give a damn.  She is going to do whatever she wants to do and hell with anybody else.  She has fun, she says what she wants, she is just getting her life.  This is a person with a dynamic personality.  I need to be more like that, instead of a wet blanket on a rainy day.

She was cracking me up.  “Quiet, the Princess is speaking.”  The party was for her mother, but Tye was getting ready for another party, so she came out with this outrageous… outrageous schoolgirl outfit.  Oh yeah, it was real cute though.  Like miniskirt with fishnets and even a little headband and some Mary Janes to really get into the outfit.  I got some pictures, and I’ll put them up as soon as I stop being lazy.  Oh yeah, I got video too!  I hope it came out all right.

Tye’s mom turned the lights out and said, “Okay, everybody, just grab someone real quick and start freakin’ them!”  My mother would never do something like that.  First of all, that hour of the night my mom is already knocked out sleep and she damn sure ain’t having a party at her house.  And she FOR REAL is not shakin’ her ‘dunk’ in front of everybody.  She prolly don’t even do that by herself.  I think her mother is the type of person that no matter where she is, who she is with, she is going to have a good time and hell with everybody else. 

It’s Monday afternoon and I’m still laughing from Saturday. 

Only a few TSA people, Trent and Ray H. with his cousin/brother, I forgot what he said.  It was a nice time.  Good food, everybody was chill.  I should have stayed later, but Whitaker was sleepy and I was headed towards the Mardi Gras thing at Midnight.

Went out to Midnight for the Mardi Gras party.  I always like theme nights.  I always dress up, but I never compete in any costume contests or anything like that.  They had a masque contest but I didn’t want to enter.  I don’t like doing stuff like that, and plus only about 20 people had on masks anyway.  They gave out beads and everything.  I don’t even know what happened to my beads.  I remember the girl giving them to me, and then I didn’t have them anymore.

So, let me tell you how I am a socially backwards retard.  I am always saying that I don’t really know anybody in the scene, and that I pretty much keep to myself.  I describe myself as an anti-social socialite.  I like to go out, but I want to be in a corner by myself.  That doesn’t mean I don’t like meeting new people.  I’m just retarded.

This girl comes up to me, sits down and she’s like, “Hi.”  You know, because I’m so weird about everyone, I’m like.. what the fuck do you want?  I didn’t say that but I’m sure my look said it all since everyone says my expression tells everything.  She was like, “I always see you here, and I wanted to say hi.  I like the way you dance.”  I was like… uhm, thanks.  Hi.  Err…. yeah…. So she’s looking at me like I’m stupid, and I feel stupid.  She said, “Am I bothering you?”  I was like, “No.”  She wasn’t.  But I didn’t know what to say.  See how stupid I am.  So she was like, “Yeah.. bye.”  And she got up and left.

Retard.  Whoever you are, I didn’t mean it in a bad way.  Please don’t pay any attention to me, I’m just completely inept.  Forget all this protocol training and etiquette classes and other bullshit.  I’m stupid.  Back into my hole I crawl.

I saw Javier, which is now like the one person that I do know and he always remembers to say hi, which is very nice even though half the time I’m on the moon because I’m thinking so hard.  And Javier is quickly moving up on my list of favourite DJs.  He always plays these sets that just bring me back.  I meant to say something about it a few weeks ago.  For about 30 minutes, it was 1998 and I was the Fineline, the year it was at its best.  Aww, those were the days…. oh, and I was skinny back then.

I am pleased to say that everyone met the standard Saturday night.  Sadly, I have no one to make fun of.  There weren’t any horrid shoes, no bad dresses, no titties accidentally flopping around, not even a bad hairdo.  Which is just as well.  I should stop trashing people in my blogs…..


You know you like it anyway.

The other day when I wrote about the United Delegation of Gay Top Hat Wearers, that blog yielded a record hit count on my page, something like 200 hits for one day, which is crazy, when normally I only get 50 or so.  Even the “Die, Bitch, Die” blog I wrote didn’t get that many hits.

Anyway, all day Sunday, I lounged, worked out a little bit, lounged so more.

I’m pleased to say that I have lost an additional 2 pounds.

We are well on our way to Skinny Slut City.

Oh yeah, Tye, did you know you called me at 115am Sunday night.  You left a message but it was garbled.  Girl, I be sleep that hour of the night.


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