Misadventures of the Village Idiot #28: Sho’Nuff!

Well, tonight I finally tested for my yellow advanced belt.  I should have gotten this belt about 3 months ago, but several things delayed me, including not wanting to pay testing fees and not having a job for a little while and taking random vacations.

Deciding to take a martial arts class isn’t really about getting a black belt or learning how to fuck someone up.  I’ve said before that I really did it because it’s a more exciting way to lose weight and stay in shape than running on a treadmill like a deranged hampster or calorie counting or some other nonsense.

I always wanted to do this since I was a kid, but as the oldest I was the built in baby-sitter and there really wasn’t time for passionate pursuits.  I did take Judo lessons for a little while, but it wasn’t the form I really wanted to learn and I wasn’t really serious about it.

I’m doing this mixed form right now, karate, tae kwon do and boxing.  Unless you are Bruce Leroy, it’s impractical to believe that you will be able to defend yourself in a real fight.  My instructor is throwing in self-defense techniques.  I am a single woman in the city, so it’s safe to learn to save your own ass instead of waiting on the sorry ass police to come find you.

One of these days though, I just might be able to Chun Li somebody.  Do one of those lightning fast kicks and spin around on my pony-tails.  Hahahah.

Anyway, tonight’s test consisted of doing one of my forms, exhibiting physical fitness by doing correct form push-ups and sit-ups, then get on the bag and display my form and technique of kicking and punching. 

I got excellent marks, except I need to flow a little bit better on the form, stop hesitating like I’m trying to remember what to do next.  As for my technique, I was told it was pretty good except I need to snap a little harder and have better positioning.

I’m still in the beginning belts!  I’m learning, I’m learning.

After that, time to kick the boards.  After the fiasco of kicking the boards for the yellow belt, I was kind of nervous this time.  He wanted a side-kick, one of my worst kicks, of course. 

What did I do?

I kicked his hand.

I kicked the side of the boards and cut my foot.

Three’s a charm (well, you only get three chances)… and yes, I did manage to smash all three boards in half.  No, you don’t kick them one at a time, they are stacked up.  As you progress in belts, they continue to stack them.

The next belt is green.  A few more months for that.  Maybe by the summer.  I got to catch up with all these little kids running around with blue and red belts, making me look like an unco-ordinated jackass.

But for real, this shit is fun.  I don’t know why I waited so long to do it.

And that’s kicking your ass.

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