Cubicle Death #6: Bored at Work, A Short Story

A Short Story
by Megan White and Ramona Robles
Today is the first day of monkeys shopping in Britain’s Piccadilly Square.  Sandra could not understand why people were okay with monkeys and bananas in Piccadilly Square.  Yesterday, the monkeys attacked a woman who later sued the doctor for drugging her with a date rape drug and limes.  WHAT!!! Limes?  Why were limes even in the doctor’s office.  Reporters state the doctor had limes soaked in bleach and socks.  Neighbours noticed the woman’s shoe in the pool behind the lake.  The lake was contaminated with dead cats and radiation.  The smell was sickeningly sweet with a citrus punch, champagne and caviar.  But wait, there’s more to this, a man was seen flying past the lake spraying toxic petrochemical waste.  This chemical caused hot pink spots to grow on blonde people only.  So where is the monkey business now?  Well, they are now working at sanitising the woman and her dreams.  During the investigation her dreams revealed she has a complex about monkeys.  She imagined being in a jungle preparing for her tour in Iraq.  That’s the twist:  she didn’t know she had a mission with the 82nd.  Basically, hallucinating about her airborne jump into Monkey Town.

Monkey Town is located in a small country known only to a women.  It’s secret because men cannot think clearly or be trusted.  Besides, only women can the understand the stresses of converting monkeys into divas.  So the monkeys can rip the runway, wearing red stilettos.  Now that is a sensation in the weirdest way.  There is danger that men will kill the monkeys and invade Monkey Town because they want to impregnant the women who legt them back in Piccadilly Square.  The doctor is performing invitro fertilisation for the unwed survivors of the tomato surplus era.  Killer tomatoes attacked Piccadilly Square last summer causing riots and severe damage to actor Brad Pitt.  He is now undergoing transgender surgery for his next movie in Zimbabwe with Spiderman, President Obama, and Baby Bush.  The movie is about the societies’ acceptance to people who eat spiders for survival.  Spider eaters usually eat them raw to protect against a cancerous eye juice that infects the liver.

Now after years of plastic surgery, Michael Jordan looks like a 99 year old alien from the planet Sephora.  Aliens invaded Mars because they wanted acces to platinum Beach Boys’ albums.  Sephorans love 60s pop music sensations.  They use it to encourage their mind reaching techniques.  What a twist from eating celebrities and teaching mind reading to teenagers.

Thank goodness this doesn’t affect Sandra and it was good because this story is only for tabloids!

The end!

*   *   *   *
Maquona and I wrote this story while we were at work.  We did it via email, writing only three words at a time.  She emailed me the first three words, then I added three words, then she did, and I did, and so on and so forth until we finally finished the story two days later. 

This just exhibits the true boredom we often suffer at work.  We might be onto something, however, if we should both lose our jobs, we can go into business together writing stories for the National Enquirer.


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