Daily News: October 8

Today is October 8th.  It is the 281st day of the year with 84 to go.

Today’s History

In 1871, the Great Fire of Chicago erupted, destroying much of the city.
In 1999, Laila Ali made her pro boxing debut by knocking out April Fowler in 31 seconds.

Today’s News

That’s My Boy!
Police in Washington state have begun a massive manhunt for an 18 year old kid accused of at least 50 burlargies.  The kid has become smoething of a legend to local police who have tried sevearl times to catch him but each time he’s managed to get away.  One officer said the boy “virtually vaporised in front of me.”  They are calling him the Barefoot Burglar because he usually doesn’t have on shoes when he begins his capers.  Apparently, he has become bored with breaking into people’s houses and chilling on their couches until the cops come; now he has moved on to stealing airplanes.  It is alleged he has stolen at least three airplanes from rural airports and crash landed them.  He is also suspected of stealing a boat.  The boy has been living a life of crime since early childhood.  At age 12, he was convicted of stolen property.  He had three more convictions by 13.  He also posed as a pizza boy and stole the pizzas, as well as a Mercedes and an expensive high-end digital camera.  In 2007, he was finally caught and sent to juvenile detention where he behaved well and was transferred to a halfway house.  He climbed out the window and began his 18 month burglary and airplane theft spree.  Police haven’t seen him since.  Part of the reason they haven’t caught him is because police resources on the island are very limited.  Yes, this kid has managed to elude the police since 2007 on a small island.  The crazy thing about all this is that his mother said she “doesn’t see anything wrnog with what he’s done.”  In fact, she’s proud.  she just wants him to wear a parachute the next time he takes a plane.

Uhm, she’s proud that he’s breaking into people’s houses, stealing airplanes, expensive cars and boats?  Let’s see how proud she would be if they slapped her with a bill for all that damaged property.  The average price for a Cessna airplane is about $55000-99000, depending on the model and accessories.  Then let’s add the hangars he destroyed, the property stolen from these people’s houses and the Mercedes, and we all know there is no such thing as a cheap Mercedes.  Let’s not forget the boat.  Stealing pizzas was petty, but stealing aircraft is a felony, so this “Mama’s boy” is looking at some serious time.  I need his mother to be a little less indulgent and a little more whoop that ass.  But you can tell she ain’t wrapped right because she first greeted reporters with a shotgun, then decided to give a detailed and lengthy interview.  She said that she hopes her son makes it to a country where he cannot be extradited.  What is wrong with people?

The Grape Escape
A Wisconsin inmate is back in solitary confinement after he tried to escape from a correctional facility using newspapers and raisins.  Around 530 in the morning, he was told to collect the food carts from the yard, and instead of doing so, he made a beeline for the fences which are topped with barbed wire.  He stuffed his clothing with newspapers to provide protection against the barbs, but he still managed to cut his hand and fell to the ground.  He had a giant bag of raisins with him.  In 1981, he had another unsuccessful escape attempt.

Okay, so what were the raisins for, to eat while you were on the trail?  I’m confused.

Top 10 Risky Foods
Leafy greens, eggs, tuna, oysters, potatoes, cheese, ice cream, tomatoes, sprouts and berries are the top ten riskiest foods to eat in the US.  These foods have been linked to serious illness and death over the past few decades.  Leafy green vegetables resulted in 13,568 illnesses in the past 20 years.  Berries caused 3397 illnesses.  Most of these foods are actually good for you; however, they’ve been linked to foodborne illnesses caused by improper handling and negligence.  Lettuce has been linked to Norovirus and E. coli.  Salmonella has been found in poorly handled eggs, cheese and tomatoes.  Both Salmonella and E. coli are found in potatoes.  Poorly stored tuna releases harmful toxins and improperly washed oysters are at risk of Norovirus.  Salmonella tainted ice cream in 1994 caused thousands to fall ill across 41 states.

In case you didn’t know, falling ill from salmonella, E. coli and Norovirus poisoning is not a good thing.  If you’re generally healthy, you’ll just crap a lot and vomit a few times and be on your merry way.  If you’re an infant, like the poor 2 year old who died after his mother gave him what she thought was a nutritious meal, then you should be more careful.  So, in addition to all these foods you have to check for potential foodborne bacteria, you should also consider all the food you shouldn’t eat due to health reasons, and then the contaminated products coming out of China, not to mention the so-called spring water that is tainted with lead and mercury.  Basically this means you should not eat anything, just starve.  After a few generations, the human body will adapt to this skin and bones lifestyle.

Celebrity News

The FBI has just released a report stating that it once considered Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith a suspect in a murder plot.  The report indicates Anna might have plotted to murder her millionaire husband’s son while they were battling over his money.  The FBI stated that the investigation was dropped because there was no evidence to support.  She was interviewed once, but Anna cried during the interview that she knew of no such plot and wasn’t involved in anything.  Investigators also came to her home before she died and removed several firearms, a large knife and an orange and black hat (yeah, I don’t know either).  Her husband died a little more than a year after they got married.  He was 89; she was 26.  His soon took her to court over the money but he died in 2006 during the proceedings.  As we all know, Anna also died in 2007.  The money is still being fought over.  Anna’s daughter is now 3, and there is a huge custody battle over the kid, because she will inherit the money.

All I want to know is what’s up with the hat?  How does that figure into a potential murder plot?

And speaking of Playmates, Levi Johnston, father of Sarah Palin’s grandson will pose for Playgirl.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Not sure who wuold want to view this crime against nature, but he has been training six nights a week with a bodybuilder in Alaska to prepare for the photo shoot.  Palin representatives say this could be a source of embarassment (as if her entire life isn’t a source of embarrassment already) as she has been spoken of as a potential presidential candidate in 2012.  For reasons God only knows why, she has been much in the news lately, particularly about her random resignation as Alaska governor, then this memoir of hers that is due in bookstores shortly.

I will be purchasing the book as soon as it hits shelves–to use as toilet paper.

Today’s Thought

History is the propaganda of the victors. –Ernst Toller


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