Daily News October 22

Today is Thursday, October 22.  It is the 295th day of the year with 70 to go.

Today’s History

In 1746, Princeton was first chartered as the College of New Jersey.
In 1968, Apollo 7 returned home safely, splashing down into the Atlantic Ocean.

Today’s News

Cashier’s Check
Police are searching for the convenience store clerk who stole a winning lottery ticket from a customer in Texas.  The customer regularly comes into the convenience store several times a week to buy lottery tickets.  He bought a few and then asked the clerk to check to see if any of them were winners.  One of them turned out to be a $1 million prize, but instead of informing the customer of his win, he instead cashed the ticket out for himself and ran out of the store.  He had the money wired to his account and pretty much disappeared.  It is believed that he might have gone back to his native Nepal.  Police have been able to recover about half of the money and the original winner will have to prove that the money is his before he can get it back. 

I used to wonder about this.  Unless you see your winning number on TV or call the 1-800 number, what’s to stop a store clerk from claiming your ticket is not a winner and then taking the money for himself?  That’s pretty jacked up that he would do that, but desperate times call for desperate measures.  Why didn’t the guy ask for his ticket back?  When I noticed the clerk taking off, I would have went after him.  But I guess some people aren’t so bright.  Even though the clerk now has a warrant for his arrest and authorities have seized his assets, it doesn’t automatically mean the other guy is going to get his money.  He’s going to have to prove it’s his.  That means he’s going to have to pay some lawyer to battle it out for him.  He may never see his million dollars.  Sorry ’bout your luck!

Dope Job:  Pothead Wanted
A newspaper in Colorado is looking for a pothead for a job it’s advertising.  About 14 states allow medicinal pot smoking and it’s opened up a whole new industry in infirmaries and dispensaries that give out this medical pot.  Just like any other doctor’s office, you’d want to know what you were getting into, right?  That’s where the dopehead will come in.  Whoever he or she is, they will have to be legally allowed to smoke pot for whatever medical reason and then they will get to go around to all the pot smoking places and test their weed, then write a review on it so other potheads know where to get the good stuff.  There are about 800 legal pot dispensaries in California and about 400 in Colorado, one of which is right across the street from the state capitol.

Although I’m not a pothead, never have been and never will be, I believe that they should just go ahead and make it legal.  That way we can slap a bunch of taxes on it like beer and cigarettes and we can make some money, get us out of this recession.  Maybe we could even lower income tax if the tax on weed was high enough.  I know a lot of pot smokers and I think they would jump at the chance to be able to buy high quality leaves from a nice dealer rather than skulk around in some seedy scary neighbourhood in the middle of a turf war with the Latin Kings.  And look at the industry it’s providing.  This is jobs.  A pot reviewer?  A newspaper that reviews pot dispensaries?  Plus photographers that take pictures of pot places.  Pot aficianados.  Pot horticulturalists.  Pot happy hours.  Martha Stewart’s pot arrangements.  That’s jobs.  That’s money.  A lot of people are against it because it’s a drug and that’s bad, but so is alcohol.  Alcohol is the most abused drug in the United States and it’s legal.  Nobody is saying that I want zombie-faced meth heads roaming the streets, but think about it, you know a lot of potheads–you do.  They are the most unsuspecting people.  We’re not talking about Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and Grateful Dead fanatics; we’re talking about your pediatrician, your attorney and the guy who makes your latte every morning.  This is America and we like capitalism.  Think of the joy you would bring to someone buy giving them a marijuana leaf for Christmas.  ‘Tis the season.

Scamming the Scammers
An British man has been sentenced to almsot 5 years in prison for staging more than 100 car accidents to defraud insurance companies.  The man would pay “victims” to get into accidents with unsuspecting drivers and then force the drivers to pay hundreds of dollars in insurance fees because the accidents were always staged to make it look like it was their fault.  He would have one of his drivers swerve in front of someone and then slam on his brakes, but then another of this drivers would be right up alongside so he couldn’t change lanes, forcing him to rear-end someone.  The man did this almost a 100 times over three years and racked up quite a bit of money in insurance claims.  Office workers in a nearby building noticed that there were way too many accidents happening at this intersection near their building so they reported it to a safety commission who did an investigation and realised that all the accidents were pretty much faked.

I don’t feel sorry for the insurance companies.  They make enough money scamming us regular people on real accidents, but I do feel sorry for all the people who were in fake accidents and their insurance premiums went up.  Not to mention, it’s kind of stupid.  Yeah, getting rear-ended may not be the worst thing in the world, but 10 years down the line I’m sure your back is gonna be feeling it after participating in 100 car accidents.  Didn’t anybody ever notice the same three people were involved in accidents?  As an EMT, I’d be like, weren’t you just in a crash three hours ago?  You get an E for effort, but a zero in originality.

Celebrity News

Rapper Lil Wayne expects to get a year in jail on a gun charge that he just pleaded guilty to.  His tour bus was stopped after officers noticed the scent of marijuana wafting from the windows.  Allegedly, the rapper through a Louis Vuitton bag out the window that contained a semi-automatic weapon.  Lil Wayne has stated the weapon was not his, but the attorney said going through all the tests to prove otherwise would be problematic and long-winded.  Lil Wayne also has to answer to federal drug and weapons charges after being caught at an immigration checkpoint just outside of Yuma, Arizona (say hey to the folks!).  Now, see, if pot was legal he wouldn’t even be having all these problems, but I feel no sympathy for Lil Ugmo.  If you glorify a life of crmie, be prepared to do the time.  See hey to T.I.  Let’s hope you’re still relevant when you get out.  Sadly, though, this will probably boost record sales.

Today’s Thought

You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you always remain a pupil.  ~Friedrich Nietzsche


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