Today is Friday, December 18, 2009. It is the 352nd day of the year with 13 to go.
In 1865, the 13th Amendment to the Constitution, abolishing slavery, was declared in effect by the Secretary of State.
In 1940, Adolf Hitler ordered secret preparations for Nazi Germany to invade the Soviet Union.
Staring Off Young
A 4 year old Tennessee boy had to be taken to a hospital and treated for alcohol consumption after he was found wandering his neighbourhood drunk. The boy, dressed in a little girl’s dress he had stolen from under a neighbour’s Christmas tree, had been drinking beer all night because he “wants to go to jail because that’s where his daddy is.” The boy’s 21 year old mother is in the middle of a divorce from the father. She said she spoke with Child Protective Services and they will allow her to keep custody of her son.
I need to understand several things about this story. Where did the boy get the beer from? How did he get into a neighbour’s house to steal the dress? Who called the police? Did the mother know where her child was? The boy is four, not 12. You can already tell what kind of home this is if a toddler has an idea of getting trashed in the streets so he can be in jail like his daddy. Real nice.
Divorce: The Perfect Christmas Gift
If you have no idea what to get your loved ones this holiday season, why not give them a divorce? A London law firm is offering Christmas gift vouchers for divorce advice this holiday season. The firm normally charges approximately $530 an hour for divorces, but the Christmas voucher will knock the price down to less than half. Sixty divorce vouchers have already been sold, and the firm said there has been a very healthy response. A church leader finds the very idea sad, since “divorce is a personal matter and not suitable for a gift.” The attorneys at the law firm think otherwise; Christmas is always very stressful for families and this is usually a time people start thinking about divorce.
This just speaks volumes into our society. How would you feel if your husband or wife gave you a divorce voucher on Christmas morning? What if you got the gift from a friend? Or your parents?
Whatever It Takes
A Chinese trucker was so worried about falling behind in his delivery schedule, that he decided he would do whatever it took to keep him on the road. He had no money to have his shattered windshield replaced, so he decided to put a cardboard box over the space and keep on trucking. The man drove approximately 500 miles with the cardboard covering up the windshield. In order to see, he stuck his head out the side window. Unfortunately, the sub zero temperatures froze one of his eyes shut. He was spotted by a policeman, pulled over and arrested. The man’s face was a dark shade of blue from the severe temperatures.
Okay, I know we’re all worried about our jobs and most of us will do anything to hang on to them, but does this even look like a reasonable solution? Since he was hanging his head out the window anyway, I would have just left the windshield open, put something around my head to keep from freezing to death and put on some glasses or goggles. He might have been able to get away without a windshield; somebody might not notice, but they will notice a truck driving down the street with some cardboard.
Pain in the Ass
A 19 year old Chinese student checked into a hospital complaining about a pain in his rear end. Doctors began their examination and found minimal injury to his anus, but otherwise could not find the source of his agony. After taking X-rays, doctors discovered that the man had a TV remote lodged up his ass. Apparently, the young man had been drinking with friends in his apartment and as part of a prank, they shoved the remote up his butt when he fell asleep.
Nice friends. Guess you’ll be more careful about who you get trashed with next time. Or was this a cover up for something a little wilder?
I Don’t Practise Santeria
A Brazilian stepfather has confessed to jabbing 42 needles into the body of a 2 year old boy. The man stated that his girlfriend gave him instructions through trances in a month-long ritual. The girlfriend paid to have the needles blessed by a woman who practises a Candomble, an Afro-Brazilian religion. According to her, sticking needles in the boy would help them be together, but officials believe it may have been out of revenge on the mother of the child. The father said he was the one who stuck the boy, but he was under the influence of the woman. Both have been arrested. The boy is still in the hospital because two of the needles are close to his heart and the doctors are not sure if they can remove them. The boy’s mother brought him to the hospital after he began complaining that he was in pain. Since there were needles in his lung and legs, doctors figured there was no way he could have swallowed them by accident. Already people in Brazil have a problem with the Afro-Brazilian religions. When the step-father and girlfriend were arrested, hundreds showed up to riot against them at the police station.
No one worth possessing can be quite possessed. ~Sara Teasdale