Daily News February 2

Today is February 2, 2010.  It is the 33rd day of the year with 332 to go.  Today is Groundhog Day.  It is also Candlemas.  

Today’s History  

In 1653, New Amsterdam (which is now New York City) was incorporated.
In 1848, the Mexican-American war ended with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.  

Today’s News  

Six More Weeks!
Punxsutawney Phil, the world’s meteorologist, has emerged from his cave of wonders to spot his shadow, indicating there will be six more weeks of winter.  In a strange display of idiocy, thousands of people gathered in the frigid early morning hours to see what the overgrown hedgehog—I mean, groundhog (whatever), had to say about the weather.  According to this ridiculous and archaic German tradition, if he sees his shadow there will be six more weeks of winter.  If the badger—groundhog (…!) doesn’t see his shadow spring will come early.  This overgrown rural rat has been predicting the weather since 1887, with only one pause during World War II.   

  

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

 

  

And he’s only been correct 39 per cent of the time.  He might be right this winter though, because they’re expecting some winter weather this weekend.  Bundle up, ya’ll!  
No College for Timmy
Unless little Timmy borrows from a loan shark or sells his kidney on the black market, he might not be able to afford college next year.  Officials say that college tuition has increased by up to 30 per cent in some states.  Florida students can expect to pay 15 per cent more.  In Washington, college goers will pay up to 14 per cent more.  Nine per cent additional is expected in Illinois and a whopping 30 per cent in California.  The national average for college tuition at a state school is approximately $7020, and that doesn’t even include room and board.  Officials also state that these increases are not just for next year, but they will increase by those amounts EVERY YEAR for the next SEVERAL years.  That means tuition will be DOUBLED in some states in just five years.  That means if you have eighth graders, you’d better put them to work now, or if you’re strapped for cash, here are some jobs that pay well without having a college degree:  Aides supervisor ($60,652); Assembly supervisor (59,926); Assistant site manager (86,5864); Automobile service station manager (81,793); Cable supervisor (71,826); Carpenter supervisor (70,565); Chemical supervisor (67,114); Construction equipment operator (50,783); Credit and collection supervisor (61,387).  (Source:  Careerbuilder).  

Tell Junior to pick one and keep it moving.  

If You Can’t Stand the Heat…
…get out of the truck!  A Massachusetts home will be razed to the ground after a truck driver plowed into the home when he lost control of his vehicle.  The driver claimed to have passed out after choking on some very hot chili.  The truck slammed into the house and is lodged so tightly that authorities say the only way to remove the truck is by tearing the house down completely.  The driver is in hospital with minor injuries and a woman in the home was not injured.  Police have ruled out drugs and alcohol, but an investigation is on-going.  

I need to understand how he was eating hot chili while he was driving in the first place.  According to the article no charges have been filed, but to me this is reckless driving.  I don’t know if there are any laws against eating and driving, but if you can’t eat and drive at the same time without smashing into someone’s home, then maybe you should put the chili down or just pull over.  Two words:  lawsuit.  Okay, lawsuit is one word, but you know what I mean.  

But Not in the House of the Lord
A restraining order has been taken out against a pastor in Tennessee because it is alleged that he tried to shoot his own son at church.  The son said they were arguing because of his lack of attendance at church when his father pulled a weapon on him and demanded that he start attending church more often or else.  The son said his father said he would kill him, his wife and the rest of the family.  So far the pastor has had nothing to say about this.  

Go to church or I’ll kill you?  How’s that for some religious browbeating?  It’s a war out there:  get your butt in church or Pastor Killswitch is coming to get you.    

I’m in Love with a Chicken
In this day of super technology and everyone is walking around with a video camera or a camera on their cell phone, you should be careful how you act or you might end up on YouTube.  Perhaps you don’t want to be seen kissing and snuggling up with a chicken on a New York City subway.  A woman and her two friends were headed uptown when they came across a man on the train getting up close and personal with a chicken.  The woman said she felt compelled to video the man and his poultry.  She described him as lying on the floor of the train, rolling back and forth while kissing and hugging the chicken.  The man did not appear to notice that people were staring at him as if he was crazy.  The transit authority is investigating because only service animals are permitted on the train, and the man was also wearing a New York Transit Authority uniform.  

  

   

   

   

   

   

   

Well, you know, only in New York do random things like that happen.  If the man wants to love his chicken, let him love his chicken.  He ain’t hurting nobody, but I hope he really was a homeless man and not an employee, because he might not have a job once they identify him.  

Today’s Thought  

It was naïve of the 19th century optimists to expect paradise from technology—and it is equally naïve of the 20th century pessimists to make technology the scapegoat for such old shortcomings of as man’s blindness, cruelty, immaturity, greed and sinful pride.  –Peter F. Drucker  

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