Daily News March 3

Today is Wednesday, March 3, 2010.  It is the 62nd day of the year with 303 to go.

Today’s History

In 1845, Florida became the 27th state.
In 1931, President Herbert Hoover signed a measure making “The Star-Spangled Banner” the national anthem of the United States.
In 1991, Rodney King was beaten by L.A. police officers in a scene captured on video.

Today’s News

Take Your Kid To Work Day
…and let him do your job!  The FAA is investigating an allegation that a child was allowed to direct pilots from a control tower at New York’s Kennedy Airport.  A parent who happened to be an air traffic controller brought his kid to work in mid-February, and the controller and his supervisor allowed the kid to direct aircraft.  Both are currently suspended while the investigation is ongoing.  The kid directed five transmissions, at least one to JetBlue and another to an Aeromexico flight.  All five transmissions were recorded, as all transmissions are.  In one transmission the child directs a pilot and the pilot laughs.  The adult controller then says, “That’s what you get, guys, when the kids are out of school.” 

Because an air traffic control tower is the perfect place to bring little Junior when he’s home from school.  The average salary for a controller is $109,218.  I need this guy to hire a babysitter.  I’m sure it was all fun for the kid and he was being supervised, being told exactly what to say to the pilots, but it’s a bit irresponsible.  As we all know, random things happen in the air and what is Dad going to do with junior when one of the flights he’s directing strikes some birds or the pilots fall asleep or some kind of terrorism?  Some people don’t think.  And it looks like this guy and his supervisor are going to lose their job.  And then what if something had happened?  LAWSUIT CITY!

It Could Happen To You
A British man wants everybody to know exactly how he died.  The 85 year old man told his family he wanted signs placed on his hearse and gravesite that said, “SMOKING KILLED ME.”  The signs were placed at his request in the windows of the hearse and were fashioned to look like the warning labels commonly found on cigarette packages.  The man died of a long battle with emphysema.


That’s one way to get your message across.  But then he was 85 which is above the average male life span.  So I’m not so sure if the message will be received.

Private Property:  Keep Out!
Most people just put up “private property” signs when they don’t to be bothered by nosy neighbours, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and kids selling Girl Scout cookies.  They don’t usually rig their houses with fake bombs.  That is what Australian police found when neighbours called to report something strange going on at the house across the street.  Neighbours reported seeing a device that looked like a bomb strapped to the man’s car.  When the bomb squad arrived, they discovered almost 50 devices that were made to look like bombs.  They were strapped to the car and wired to various appliances throughout the house. They also discovered that the man had been dead at least a week.  He was described as reclusive, and probably had a mental illness. 

In Australia they call that keeping the pests out; in America, we call that terrorism.

Piss On This
A man from Washington state has died after he urinated on a live power line.  The man had just wrecked his car by crashing into a power pole.  After he was rescued from his car by a relative, apparently nature called.  He must not have seen the live wire in the ditch.  Police say the stream of urine acted as a conductor and the electricity travelled up the stream to his body, electrocuting him. 

That’s actually kind of sad.  He survived the car crash only to die by while urinating. 

One Man’s Junk
…is still just junk.  The Smithsonian Institution has rejected the suit O.J. Simpson wore when he was acquitted of murder charges in 1995.  The Smithsonian has said the suit is “inappropriate for its collection.”  The suit is apparently the centre of a 13 year battle between Simpson, Gilbert (Simpson’s former agent) and Fred Goldman (Ron Goldman’s father).  Simpson claimed the suit was stolen from him and Goldman wants the suit as part payment for damages he sought against Simpson in the civil trial.  Incidentally, the suit is kind of the reason why Simpson is currently in jail.  Remember that he busted up into someone’s hotel room in Nevada on the rumour that several items “belonging to him” were there that he wanted to retrieve.  Among those items was supposedly the tan suit with white shirt and yellow and tan tie.  The former sports agent said he was disappointed that the suit would not be admitted to the Smithsonian collection, because he feels like the suit is a part of American history.  He will try to admit the suit to the Newseum, the Museum of Crime and Punishment or the University of Southern  California where Simpson played college ball.

I have a great idea:  how about the thrift store or a trash can?  The suit is not a part of American history.  Who cares what he wore?  Are we going to try to admit the socks, underdrawers or dirty white t-shirts of every famous person we know?  What about the suit he wore when he was found liable in the civil trial?  Or better yet the suit he wore when he was found guilty in that mess in Nevada?  I think the white Bronco or the gloves would be more suitable. If they don’t fit, you must acquit!

Model Behaviour
Naomi Campbell is at it again!  New York police are interested in speaking with the supermodel but don’t know where to find her.  Allegedly, she attacked her limo driver and then fled the scene of the crime when he tried to report it to police.  The driver claimed that Naomi Campbell struck him in the back of the head so hard that his face hit the steering wheel.  He pulled the car over and flagged down a traffic officer to report what happened.  She jumped out of the car and ran away when the traffic cop called a police officer.  The driver has a small bruise and some swelling under his eye to support his story, but a spokesperson for Naomi Campbell said that there is two sides to the story and Miss Campbell will cooperate with the police when she is ready.  In 1998, Campbell assaulted an assistant.  In 2005, she beat a housekeeper with a cell phone. I n 2006, she attacked her counselor.


Okay, first of all, she might need to eat.  We know that supermodels are notoriously thin, and being thin and hungry all the time makes you angry.  Secondly, it’s time for her to do some jail time.  She is not going to learn any other way.  All this picking up trash off roadsides and paying restitution is not doing anything for her.  Lock her up for a few weeks and let them jail birds beat on her for awhile.  She’ll come out a changed woman.

Today’s Thought

We are creatures of the moment; we live from one little space to another; and only one interest at a time files these. –William Dean Howells


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