Daily News April 27

Today is Tuesday, April 27, 2010.  It is the 117th day of the year with 248 days to go.

Today’s History

In 1810, Ludwig von Beethoven wrote Für Elise.
In 2009, a Mexico City toddler was the first swine flu death on American soil.

Today’s News

911 Taxi
A Connecticut woman has been arrested on six counts of misuse of the 911 system after she called 911 several times to request a ride home from a club.  The woman was apparently intoxicated and was concerned about driving drunk, so she continued to dial 911 until a police officer did arrive to give her a ride—to jail.

After all the stories I’ve printed about people misusing 911, why do people persist?  Just in case you didn’t know the 911 system is not a cab service.  They are able to give you a ride, but not to the place you want.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
An NYC homeless man trying to help save someone else’s life was left to die in the middle of the street.  According to the investigation, the homeless man saw a woman being attacked by her boyfriend and went to help her.  He was stabbed several times during the altercation.  The couple ran away when someone else called 911 at 6AM to report the incident but when police arrived they could not find anyone.  Police think the wrong address was given.  The man lay dying in the street for another hour with several people walking past his body without doing anything.  Surveillance cameras in the area showed several people simply walking past the man, or stopping to stare at him.  One person even stopped and lifted up the body to see the pool of blood beneath the man. That person then walked away.  Someone called 911 at 7AM but again the wrong address was given.  Thirty minutes later, another 911 call came in and this time police were able to find him but the man was already dead.

That’s really sad.  I hope I never need help from anybody.  I don’t want to be lying in the street, bleeding to death and people just randomly walk past me like I’m a part of the sidewalk.  The residents in the neighbourhood say it’s not unusual to see people sleeping in the street and others say it’s not their job to determine whether someone needs help or if they’re just trashed.  No, it’s not your job, but everybody wants to live decently.  Whether the guy was drunk or dead, do you really want him lying there in front of your home or business?  People just don’t care anymore, but then again, you don’t want to get involved because you don’t want anybody to come after you.  That’s why I’m moving to Antarctica.

Penis Police
Potential candidates for the police or military in Indonesia will not be able to join if they have had a penis enlargement.  Anybody already in the police or military will be discharged if they decide to get a penis enlargement.  In addition to the hundreds of other questions asked on a military and police application, candidates will also be asked if their “vital organ has been enlarged.”  A police chief stated that men who’ve had an enlargement will be declared unfit for duty because such unnatural sizes are a hindrance during training activities.  According to information, penis enlargement is popular in this area of the world where men often wear additional appendages to appear larger.  Other men use a different technique which involves wrapping the penis in a leaf called gatal-gatal, which strangely means “itchy,” so that the penis will swell up and appear larger.

There are so many things I could say about this, but I’ll refrain from doing so because I could probably go on for days.  Seriously, though, are some men that insecure that they would go to such lengths (I guess the pun is intended) by wrapping their special parts in a leaf that makes them itchy and swollen?  That can’t be safe.  Even if it does get bigger, is still functional?  My guess is that it would be all irritated and you’d spend a lot of time scratching and adjusting.  I want to say something else, but I’m just going to let it go.  But I do wonder how large these penises get that they are a “hindrance” to training.  What sort of training activities do they do in their military that requires a smaller penis?  Okay, I’m done.

Ooops, My Bad
Colorado police are looking for a man who broke into a family home in the middle of the night, then left without taking anything.  The couple in the home stated that a man entered their bedroom at 3 in the morning and waved a gun in their face.  He informed them that he was there to rob them and then he said, “Oh, I’m in the wrong house.  I’m sorry.”  The man reportedly left after that without injuring anyone or taking any items.

Okay, well, first, can you please make sure you have the right address before you attempt to rob someone?  Secondly, if you’re going to go through all that trouble and even if you did get the wrong house, why not just rob them anyway?  I wonder if he intended to rob the house next door or just across the street.  The police don’t say if there were any other break-ins on the block.  He might have been a drunk.  People are so strange.

Be Glad You’re American
Aren’t you glad that you’re an American and you can do things like go to the movies or the circus, and have gold teeth?  And we’re not just talking about limitations on women’s movements, but la-dee-da-dee everybody.  The people of Turkmenistan are once again glad they’re Turkmen because the ban on the circus has been lifted.  The previous president who was in charge for 21 years banned the circus, the movie theatre, opera, the ballet, lip-syncing and gold teeth because these were all seen as “alien.”  The new president has lifted the bans on these activities, however, ballet is still a no-go.  Hundreds of children lined up to see the circus for the first time ever this past weekend.  Before the ban was lifted, the only movie theatres were banquet halls with a large old school television and a DVD player.  Viewers got to vote on the limited movie selection from the local video store.

Not even Blu-Ray?  America ain’t perfect, but why you would want to live anywhere else is beyond me.

Today’s Thought

For those who do not think, it is best at least to rearrange their prejudices once in a while.  –Luther Burbank

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6 responses to “Daily News April 27

  1. Pingback: Daily News April 27 « Senseless Scribbling of an Idiot | Breaking News 24/7

  2. Pingback: Daily News April 27 « Senseless Scribbling of an Idiot | Breaking News 24/7

  3. The no good deed goes unpunished story just reminds me never ever to help anybody and always have a backup plan in order to help myself if Im in trouble…I can understand if nobody stopped to help the man if he just appeared to be sleepin in the street..but to see that he had a pool of blood under him and still do nothing is just nasty..I hope they get their payback…Im curious what type of trainin those Indonesian police officers are doin also that requires them to be “not packin”…but I do know one thing…all the guys that dont get accepted into the police force or the ones that get kicked out can all have my number…cause I know that they ARE packin!!!

    • You know, you seem to report a lot about the misuse of the 911 system. I’m not going to say that I’ve never believed you but I just couldn’t take those stories seriously. I mean c’mon. Who calls the cops for chicken nuggets or for a taxi ride? That, to me, is something movie producers do to get a good laugh out of the audience.

      But yesterday, I spoke to my property manager about me moving out of my apartment and he had a very interesting story for me. Through my one year lease there at that complex, I have seen the ambulance, fire truck, and cops there a notable number of times. They usually appear late in the evening and don’t leave for about an hour to an hour and a half. They would block the street off and create usual traffic. It used to make me worry because I had always thought someone was getting hurt or there was some kind of major drug bust.

      It turns out that all of that commotion was due to one 250lb lady two buildings over from mine. This lady is an addict to pain killers. She had some kind of injury a while ago where the doctor had to prescribe some to her for a short while. After that, she got hooked. Because of her weight, she moves about in a wheel chair and has a nurse come to see her everyday—all (including her rent) at the expense of the government. Whenever she tries to get in bed, misses and hits the floor, she calls 911 to come and help her. The nurse is there in the house with her but she calls the cops.

      The whole nine come and block off the street just to help her get back in bed. While they lift her Free Willie body, she pesters them about giving her some pain meds. Sometimes they cave and give it to her and sometimes they don’t. If they are adamant in their refusal then she does one of two things: 1. she’ll wait 10 minutes after they’ve left and dial 911 again, hoping to get a different round of cops, firemen, and EMTs to harass or 2. she’ll ask to go to the emergency room and ask the doctor on staff to give her the meds. If that doctor denies her request, she checks out of the emergency room, goes home and calls 911 all over again, hoping to get a new doctor on duty in the ER.

      This is what my property manager told me. So on an off night when everyone denies her these pain killers, she can call 911 an average of 6 times. Now that trumps the woman with the nuggets. It also explains why on random nights, the dark sky outside my room window is illuminated for hours with circus lights.

      My apologies for doubting your ridiculous 911 stories. There was one happening in my own back yard and I had no clue.

      • Oh my God… that is…. I don’t even know the words to describe.

        I get all my 911 stories from CNN and MSNBC, so I know they’re “legit.” I don’t usually get my stories from tabloids or anything suspect, but that is so funny. Now if her story had hit the news, I would have been all over it because there’s just so much I can say about that.

        Wow, all that excitement right in your own backyard!

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