Today is Monday, July 12. It is the 193rd day of the year with 172 to go.
In 1543, King Henry VIII married his sixth wife Catherine Parr
In 1862, President Abraham Lincoln signed a bill authorizing the Medal of Honour.
Cut the Mullet
The Ayatollah has spoken: You’ve got to cut the mullet. The Iranian government has decided to crack down on certain hairstyles they consider offensive. Among the newly banned haircuts are the Steven Seagal ponytail, the 1980s Prince haircut and the “business in the front, party in the back” mullet. Iran recently held a Hijab and Chastity Festival, a fashion event designed to show that Iranians can be fashionable without having the fashion police called upon them. The committee revealed several “approved” hairstyles for men (because girls have to cover their heads) that are based on the shape of neck, beard, the size of the chin and provincial features (whatever that means). Most Iranians probably won’t let go of the mullet, but given how excited the police get over women wearing white socks, they may want to reconsider.
Sometimes things are just too ridiculous to be believed. “Approved hairstyles?” Who sits down and dreams up an approved hairstyle? But I guess I can understand where the ayatollahs are coming from. Are you really attracted by someone’s nappy wheat sack hanging off the back of their head? As Wesley Willis used to sing, “cut the mullet.”
A Crushing Escape
A federal inmate, serving time in an El Paso jail, has been found crushed to death in a landfill. Apparently, the inmate, who probably works for a Mexican drug cartel, escaped from the jail by hiding in one of the giant dumpsters used to haul away waste from the jail. He managed to slip past several guards and security cameras because the jail switched from taking the trash out in cans to using dumpsters and they had not updated their security measures to accommodate for the change. When trash is taken to the landfill, it is crushed, which is where he died. No other inmates have attempted to escape through the trash.
That’s pretty sad. But you know what this article doesn’t say: it doesn’t say how they discovered him missing. I bet they didn’t even know he was gone until someone from the landfill called to say the found a body wearing a county jail outfit. That’s a way to go though, getting thrown out with the trash.
Kids Killing Kids
A 9 year old California boy shot his two year old brother while they played with a gun. The two boys were unattended when they found a loaded weapon in their family home. The 9 year old accidentally shot the 2 year old in the torso. The boy was pronounced dead later at a hospital. The Los Angeles police say that no charges will be filed.
…which I think is a travesty. The parents should be charged with something. I thought there were laws in place that required gun owners with children to lock up their weapons. You should have trigger locks or a gun safe, both of which are largely tamper proof if used correctly. Putting the parents in jail won’t bring the boy back, but maybe it will teach them responsible gun ownership. I hate hearing stories like these because some people think that we should tighten gun laws, make it harder for people to own. No, that’s not the solution. The solution is to pay attention to your children and if you have guns in your home, they shouldn’t be sitting on the kitchen counter for someone to mess with.
Barefoot Bandit Bagged
This just in: The barefoot bandit has been bagged by the Bahamas boys. Say that ten times fast, and I bet Colton Harris-Moore is saying it as well. This kid, only 19, has been in the trouble with the law since he was 13 years old. He is responsible for stealing cars, boats and airplanes from one end of the US to the next. He was nicknamed Barefoot Bandit because he would break into people’s homes, steal negligible items and then leave chalky footprints on their property. He stole several aircraft and boats from his hometown in Oregon, and managed to elude police the entire time. He somehow made it to the Midwest where he stole another plane and flew down to the Bahamas. He is being blamed for thefts in Oregon; Washington, Idaho; British Columbia, Canada and the Bahamas. Police say the arrest in the Bahamas involved a high-speed boat chase like something out of the movies. True to his nickname, when he was arrested, he was barefoot.
Not that I condone criminal behaviour, for some reason I guess this kid is kind of romanticized. He has a huge following on Facebook and people started wearing T-shirts that said, “Run, Colton Run.” I thought it was interesting to follow him and I kind of wanted him to get away. I know he’s caused a lot of financial stress to a lot of people, with him jacking their boats and airplanes, those shits are not cheap, but still, he wasn’t really hurting anybody, not like a murderer or something so I thought it was funny. Those people aren’t laughing, but he did get caught. I hope they make a movie out of it and I want to know why he did it. He didn’t sell any of the crap he stole. He didn’t even keep it. He would just take somebody’s car for a ride, hop in a boat to get some place and then leave it where ever. What’s his motivation? I want to find out more.
The tragedy is not that things are broken. The tragedy is that they are not mended again. –Alan Paton