Daily News July 28

Today is Wednesday, July 28, 2010.  It is the 209th day of the year with 156 to go.

Today’s History

In 1914, World War I began as Austria-Hungary declared war on Serbia.

Today’s News

Carjacking or Jacking Off, Which Is it?
A New Jersey woman will face charges after she admitted to the police officers what really happened to her vehicle.  The woman called 911 and said that she had been carjacked.  She claimed that she was lost and stopped a man on the street to ask for directions.  The man then allegedly pulled her out of the car at gunpoint and threw her to the ground.  After some investigation, the woman admitted that she did indeed stop the man, but not to ask for directions but for sex.  She picked him up and while they were having sex in the car while she was driving, the car crashed.  The couple also set the car on fire to cover up the evidence.

I sometimes wonder why people lie.  I know they want to get out of trouble, but sometimes a lie is just so ridiculous that it’s just better to go ahead and admit the truth because when it comes out, it’s like… why?  Why?

Flower Power
NYPD are looking for a man who allegedly robbed a bank with a bouquet of flowers instead of a gun.  The man walked into a bank in downtown Manhattan with a huge bouquet of flowers.  He approached a teller and pulled a note from the flowers that read, “Don’t be a hero.  Give me all yours 100s and 50s.”  The teller gave him $400 and a dye pack.  He has already robbed another bank using the same method, but instead of flowers he brought a potted plant.

Well, if they do manage to catch him they can’t charge him with armed robbery.  I guess that’s kind of smart.  Even though he isn’t getting away with much money.  I wouldn’t go through the trouble of robbing a bank only to come out with $400 and some dye staining all my clothes.  The people who witnessed the robbery said that he looked nervous and they thought he was about to propose.  LMAO. 

Taser For Teacher
Two Georgia police officers have been removed from the force after they tasered a woman who called 911 for help.  The woman, a third grade teacher, called the police to report a prowler n her property.  While she waited for police, she contacted a male friend to wait with her.  When police arrived, the woman and her friend were waiting.  According to the woman, the cops demanded to know the identity of the man at her house.  The police assumed the issue was domestic violence.  The police told her that if she did not give the friend’s name they would arrest her for obstruction.  The woman went to get her purse and the police said they were arresting her.  According to the report, the police stated that the woman put her hands up and the officer grabbed her arm and put a handcuff on it.  The woman pulled away and ran.  They chased her and pepper sprayed her.  They were able to handcuff her and put her in the car.  He failed to mention that he tasered her several times while in the house and then did so again while she was handcuffed in the back of the car.  The woman continuously begged for him to stop.  An additional investigation states it’s likely that he tased the woman three or four times, for at least six seconds each.  He tased her so much that he even shocked himself.  Two officers were involved in the situation.  The one who tased her has resigned and the other who used the pepper spray was fired. 

SMH.

I’ll Give You My iPhone If You Give Me Your Porsche
A California teen wanted a Porsche, but all he had was an old cell phone.  Figuring he had to start somewhere, he traded the old cell phone for a better cell phone, then traded that for an iPod Touch.  He decided to trade the iPod for a dirt bike then traded that dirt bike for another one of better value.  He turned the expensive dirt bike into a MacBook Pro and then somehow turned that into a Toyota 4Runner.  Since he was only 15, he couldn’t drive the 4Runner, so he traded the truck in for a fancy golf cart.  Then another dirt bike.  A street bike.  Several cars.  He eventually ended up with a sweet 1975 Ford Bronco, which he in turn traded for a 2000 Porsche Boxster S convertible.  The kid said he spent a lot of time doing research to see if his trades were good values, but he is likely to trade the Porsche soon because he recently lost his job and can no longer afford the gas.

I need a new car.  I have an old CD player.  Anybody want to trade that for an Infiniti G35?  Email me!

The Force Strikes Bank
In addition to Luke Skywalker, New York police are looking for Darth Vader on allegations that he robbed a bank in Long Island.  Bank video footage shows a man dressed in a Darth Vader costume entering a bank with a handgun.  He pointed it at a teller and demanded money. 

 The mortgage on the Death Star is due.  Darth Vader has obviously fallen on hard times since he is reduced to robbing banks, instead of destroying star systems.  He had to pawn his light saber for a gun.  I guess with the note on the X-Wing he destroyed and child support on Luke and Leia has him calling on desperate measures.  I find his lack of faith disturbing.  But seriously though, whoever this guy is, he better stay well-hidden.  Not only will he have to go to jail for robbing a bank, but he might very well get sued by George Lucas for copyright infringement.

Today’s Thought

It is impossible to write ancient history because we lack source materials, and impossible to write modern history because we have far too many.  –Charles Peguy

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4 responses to “Daily News July 28

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Daily News July 28 « Senseless Scribbling of an Idiot -- Topsy.com

  2. Interesting! I just found this url through yahoo while trying to clear fatigue. I think I’m already becoming addicted to it. Too many things running at the same time and it’s more like I want to suck it all at once. I am certain I’ll be back for more:XD

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