Misadventures of the Village Idiot #54

Because I seemed to have so much energy last week, I just decided to get the weekend started early.

Thursday
I was not in the mood to simply come home from work, eat dinner, work out, take a shower and go to bed.  I called SF up to see what she was doing and we ended up in Silver Spring for dinner and a movie.  We had dinner at My Thai at Silver Spring and we sat in there for so long that we missed the movie we were planning to see.  This always happens with us.  We say we’re going to do something and then we just sit around and talk.  We must have been in the restaurant for almost two hours.

When we left, we realised it was too late to start a movie but too early to go home, so we went in to Borders.  I wanted to find a book on wine.  I’m attempting to become a wine connossieur.  I don’t know anything about wine and I’ve always wanted to learn, so I decided to get a book and do some reading.  And of course, some tasting is also going to have to go along with this, and trust me, there’s been quite a bit of wine drinking going on this weekend.

After the bookstore we ended up in Ben and Jerry’s where the fiasco happened.  But since I’ve already bitched about that, we won’t go into that again.

Friday
After work Friday, I met SF at the Amish market.  She texted me and asked me if I was going, then we get up there and I do my shopping but she doesn’t buy anything.  I asked her, “Why did you want to know if I was gonna be here if you weren’t going to buy anything?”  She says, “because I just like being in here.”  ….. ?  Okay.

On Thursday we had made plans to do some running, so she can pass her PT test and I can lose some weight, but by Friday those plans went out the window.  I was supposed to be having dinner with my women’s club in Columbia so there was really no time to be running anywhere.

I invited SF, and we had dinner at this placed called Asean.  It was great, but then again, Faye, the organiser, always picks such excellent restaurants for us to try.  I feel like I’m becoming quite the foodie.  Between SF and I, we ordered nearly every appetiser on the menu.  I also tried another wine.  Although I’m not a fan of white wine, I did enjoy this Riesling I selected.  I’m going to add it to my list.

So, I’ve decided that I am going to have a party at my house in December.  It’s going to be a wine tasting/holiday gift exchange/game night/movie night/slumber party.  Yes, this does sound quite serious but really it’s not.  I want to do a wine tasting because I realise that most of my friends rather arbitrarily drink wine.  None of us knows about wine, and I think I should change that.  It’ll be fun and an excuse for us to become toasted.  Since it’s December, it’s hard to resist a holiday theme.  Exchanging gifts is always fun, but I don’t know about this since everyone I know is always worried about money.  I threw in the game and movie night part because we can’t just sit around drinking wine.

I’m very excited about this.  It’s been a moment since I hosted an event.  I will have to brush up on my hostess skills.  Yippeeeee!!  A party.

Saturday
I spent much of Saturday relaxing.  I did get up early to go for a nice neighbourhood stroll.  I went to Wal-Mart and did other weekend errand type things.  Oh yeah, so I was in Pep Boys getting my oil changed when I met Random Guy.  This was actually quite amusing.  The things guys to do be noticed.  And most of the time I hardly pay attention to anybody around me.  I am sitting down reading my wine book, with my headphones on, waiting for my car to be done and this guy comes in.  His car is being worked on.  He sits down.  I guess he was looking at me, but I didn’t notice.  Then he gets up and stands next to me as if he’s looking at the magazines that are on the table next to me.  My purse was on the table on top of some magazines.  And all that magazines are WOMEN magazines, like Cosmo, Good Housekeeping, and Elle.

He said, “Excuse me, but do you mind moving your bag?”  I moved my bag so he could see the other two magazines Vogue and another Good Housekeeping.  He picks up Good Housekeeping and goes to sit back down.  I guess they finished his car first and he comes back over to the table to put the magazine back.  But he kind of just stands there and I’m like, “Do you need something?”  He was blocking the light.  This is when he asks me for my phone number.  Normally, I don’t really do this sort of thing but I decided what the hell. It’s just a phone number and I can block it with Google Voice if he becomes annoying.

We texted each other last night and he seems like a nice guy, but these days you never know.

I went to the club Saturday night but I did not stay out late since I had a race on Sunday morning.  I didn’t have that great a time at the club.  There’s this guest DJ that I don’t like and I couldn’t remember his name.  Sailor Gloom.  What a stupid name.  I will now remember it though so when I see him billed I won’t come to the club.  I don’t like his selection of music.  And anyway, I mentioned this before.  I am becoming less and less enamoured with Midnight because it is turning into a young hopper club.  Recently there has been an influx of young black kids that started coming to the club.  I guess they all just turned 18 or something.  To me it has seriously degraded the experience.  You can say whatever you want, but whenever there are large groups of black kids there’s usually problems.  They all dress horribly.  They scream and make nuisances of themselves.  I am really not into that.  I keep saying that I am going to switch to Spellbound but it’s further down and the parking is worse.  I’ll try it out next week.

Sunday
I get up for the Caribbean Sounds 10K race.  We had already decided that we were not going to do the 10 mile race.  I had serious misgivings about being able to do 10 miles.  That’s just a lot of running.  I eventually want to get to that point but racing 10 miles…. I don’t know.  I freely admit that I was intimidated by that.  The furthest I have ever run is eight miles and that’s a calm slow pace, taking walk breaks.  You can do that in a race but the point of a race is to race, meaning go for the gold.  I was afraid of hurting something I might need later on.

So let’s talk about how the Caribbean Sounds races are the worst races ever.  You would think that there is nothing much to setting up a race and participating in a race.  Not true.  The most important thing is the ROUTE.  Where are we running?  Where do I go?  If the race director doesn’t even know then how are the racers?  You need to CLEARLY MARK the race route.  Have some volunteers set up in case people get lost and confused.  You also need to clean up the route so it’s not a hazard to your runners.

You knew it was ghetto because when we got out there, it seemed like only about 50 racers.  Even that super budget race Quiet Waters had more people in attendance than this race.  Then since I did not pre-register, I had to pay at the table.  The race cost $38.44.  Yeah, a strange number.  I gave her to twenties.  She was like, “Oh, you’re gonna want change, right?”  Actually, I’m not going to stress about $1.54 but maybe you should have change on hand for that person who does want his change.  Because you can’t assume that everybody is gonna be okay with that.  I got the impression that my $40 went into her pocket, anyway.

Then the race is supposed to start at 800AM.  It didn’t start until like 835.  Then the race director comes out and tries to tell us the route.  Usually they print a route on the webpage so you can assess if the race is good for you.  Are there are a lot of curves (bad for the knees and bad for speed).  Are there are a lot hills (bad for the knees and bad for speed)?  Is this race on a road with cars (dangerous area)?  Is this a trail?  There’s so many questions you ask yourself to determine if you can do the race.  It might be too hard if it’s nothing but hills.  Then you know you might not be able to race with the kids or whatever.

The race director gives us this convoluted ass route.  “Okay, start out going east, then make a left, go straight, make another left, go around the building, then come back up the hill, make a right, make another right, then make a left, go right, go right one more time, turn in a circle, go past the other building, then you’re gonna see this sign, turn left at the sign……”

What!?!

And it showed.

Another problem with races is that they hold more than one race at a time and they fail to designate between the different races.  This one had three races:  5k, 10K and 10 mile.  Race Director says, “Okay, 5k people you’re gonna stop at the stop sign.  10K people you’re gonna go past the reservoir but not all the way to the left.  Ten mile people you’re gonna keep going, but then make a loop-de-loop.”  Her directions didn’t even make sense, but since I am never in first place I figure I’ll just follow everybody else.

We start running.  Right away, you can tell the route is garbage.  Mega hill in the first mile.  MEGA hill that really killed my time and my initial energy.  I spent the second mile trying to recover, but then again, I don’t know if that was a second mile or not.  Around 24 minutes into running a pass a mile marker that says 3 miles.  I don’t care what kind of running I’ve been doing, I don’t do 3 miles in 24 minutes, especially on a route with hills.  So I knew it was suspect.

If you ever design a race, please make sure it’s the distance that you claim it is.

Then the route took us through this dark, wooded path in the back of beyond.  There was nobody back there and I started to get a little bit scared.  It looked like a scene from I Know What You Did Last Summer. I started running faster just so I could get through there.  Lunky said he felt like he was going to get snatched by some monster, and as big as he is… you know that’s saying something if his big ass gets snatched up.

After coming out of Scary Woods, I come back around to an area that looked like I already ran through.  I don’t remember the Race Director saying that we had to do anything twice but I’m following other people but I notice they are looking confused too.  There was a race volunteer but he was so busy talking that he forgot to tell people to go left into the reservoir.  Thanks a lot, buddy.

The road was all fucked up with rocks and downed trees, making it dangerous.  You have to slow down or you will turn an ankle.  Then we were running on streets that were not blocked off.  No race volunteer to hold traffic while you come through.  Can I get a road guard, please, before I get run over?

By the time I came around the reservoir, I had been running for about 42 minutes.  I don’t know where the 5k people went and I couldn’t see any other 10K people so I thought I had gotten off track.  I stopped to get water and I hear the race director and a race volunteer arguing over the race route.  The Race Director was like, “No, they’re supposed to go left at the stop sign.”  The Race Volunteer:  “but I’ve been sending them right.”  Race Director says, “Oh, well, it doesn’t matter.”  What the fuck you mean it doesn’t matter?  Yes, it does!  I stood there for about 2 minutes and then I started running again.  I don’t know why. I  should have just stopped because I had to go up that big ass hill again, the same one from the first mile.

I did some kind of loop de loop and I ended up at the finish line somehow, although I was confused.

My time:  56:39.

Before you congratulate me on running a 10K (6.4 miles) in less than an hour, you can already bet that this wasn’t 6.4 miles.  I don’t know what that was.  I have no idea how far I ran because there was only one mile marker to judge and that seemed inaccurate.  Like I said I can’t run 3 miles in 24 minutes, even on flat ground.  I ran six miles at home two weeks ago and it took me about 70 minutes and that route is flat.  I would add about 10 minutes if there are hills, so I should have ran this race in about 75-80 minutes.  Not 56 minutes but if you want to claim that I will.

Lunky finished in 45 minutes, which…. that’s just not an accurate result.  The other Lunkhead did not even show up, by the way.

I was very disappointed that it turned out like this.  This was my first 10K, but there will be others and I will see how well I’m really doing.  Oh well.

After the race, I ran a few more errands then came home to lay up on the couch for awhile.  I finally finished 2001:  A Space Odyssey.  I just want to let everyone know that this is one of the the worst films I have ever seen.  It’s horrible.  It won a lot of awards and people seem to like it but it was just… terrible.  Maybe because I am too stupid to understand it.  I don’t know.  It’s 2 hours and 20 minutes of bullshit.  That’s what it is.

I spent the rest of the evening texting Guy I Met and then I went to bed kind of early.  I know it’s Columbus Day or whatever, but I decided to work today so I can use the holiday for Black Friday.  The good thing is that I have a great parking space.  I’ll just cling to that.

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