Bitch Fest #11: I Can Whoop Your Ass, Though

It looks like it’s that time again…

…time for another bitch fest.

As my faithful readers know, I have been actively running since May.  I have taken quite a liking to it and I’ve participated in a multitude of road races.  Since I have improved speed and endurance I am really feeling quite motivated to continue.  I think I may just become a life long runner.  One day, I imagine myself on the cover of Runner’s World.

As my real-life friends know, I am not exactly the slimmest person.  Truth be told, I could stand to lose 10-15 pounds, not simply for vanity reasons but for health reasons.  I do desire to loose this weight but I desire to eat more than anything and I can’t stand depriving myself of things that taste delicious.  In addition to the running, I work out quite frequently to avoid becoming a fat hogbeast but it is unlikely that I will ever be “skinny.”

And I’m okay with that.

Having said all that…

HOW DARE YOU JUDGE ME!!!

Today my job sponsored a Hallowe’en 5K race.  It’s all in good fun.  You come in your costume and you run this race for health and fitness.  Totally up my alley.  I get to work very early this morning and I’m already in my running clothes.  I like to wear leggings because I don’t like wear anything that will wrap around.  I had on leggings, a long t-shirt and a sweatshirt.  Usually, leggings is not office attire but since my job is having this race, people will understand why I have on sports clothes.

I got several strange looks when I came into my office.  I got here at 6 and the race started at 9.  Maybe it was because I was dressed as Antoine Dodson.  Maybe it was because I was super ethnic.  Or maybe it was because fat girl was dressed in active wear.  I could just see the looks that said, “where the hell does she think she’s going?” or “yeah, get your fat ass to the gym immediately.”

Never before have I ever been so aware of myself in such a negative way.  It was awkward after a moment.

One guy made a comment to my face about my attire.  He said, “Oh, we wear sweatshirts to the office now?”  I told him that I was participating in the race and he had this look on his face like, “Yeah, right, your ass ain’t running nowhere except to Krispy Kreme.”

About an hour later, as I was walking through the corridors to the race with my boss.  She is slightly heavier than I am.  We came across one of our military personnel that she knew and I didn’t.  He said, “Are you guys going to the gym?”

His face said, ‘Yeah, please, hurry to the gym immediately.”

My boss told him that we were participating in the race and this jerk actually started laughing.  Laughing.  I am not very sensitive.  A lot of things don’t even faze me.  But I guess it was just at a moment because it really bothered me that he started laughing.  He had this incredulous look on his face that he found it impossible that people like us would be running somewhere.  Why do you people have the idea that you have to be skinny to enjoy sporting activities?  Fat people don’t like sports?  Fat people can’t exercise to get slim?

And I don’t even consider myself fat.  Overweight, yes.  Fat, no.  I guess fat has a negative connotation and you can take that however you want.  I am not sloppy. I don’t huff and puff with every step I take.  I am not constantly shoving fattening gross foods into my mouth, so I do take a little exception at this man’s reaction to us.

Then he says, “I better not catch you walking.”

Walking? That really made me mad.  I know that he was just joking and my boss took it like that as well, so maybe I’m the one being hypersensitive.  But why would you assume that we would be walking?

So just for that, I went out and ran my best 5K time ever:  29:17 so kiss my fat ass.  That’s a smidge over a 9 minute mile.  I just really take exception that one must look a certain way in order to be considered athletic.  I find this to be laughable.  Many of my friends that are slimmer than me cannot outrun me….. because they aren’t athletic.  One friend doesn’t do any exercise at all.  They were lucky enough to be born with excellent genes that allows them to eat whatever they desire and they never gain any weight.  I am not so lucky.  I have to work to maintain this weight, heavy though it is.  They are skinnier, but I am more physically fit.

If we were being chased by wolves, they would get ate up and I would still be running.  Okay, so the likelihood of us being chased by wolves is very slim but still…

I advise you not to sleep on me.  Just because I am healthy sized don’t mean I can’t kick your ass, Mr. Fancy-Suit.  When was the last time you got up and ran anywhere?  Just cuz you’re slim in your fancy suit.  Wii bowling is NOT a sport. Yeah, it is likely the military guy can outrun me because he is a Marine and that is all they do but Fancy-Suit?  Yeah right.  You ain’t shit.

I’m not even upset that I am perceived as fat.  That’s nothing to me.  I think it just bothered me that I could be perceived as lazy and dormant.

I got your lazy and dormant right here.  Come and try me!

Oh yeah, I used to box and take karate, so come on, no,  really, bring it!!!!!!!!

 

All right, all that bitching has calmed me down now.  I think the lesson to be learned here is that you cannot judge a book by its cover.  Yes, sometimes you can just tell when a person is a lazy piece of trash, and sometimes you really can’t.  I’m not one of those fat people trying to advocate a whole world of fat people-ness like the National Acceptable of Fat People (or whatever they are called).  I’m trying to say there’s fat…

….and there’s kicking your ass.

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