Misadventures of the Village Idiot #60

The weekend was pretty hectic even though I tried my best to keep the weekend low key as possible.  I have been doing too much running of late and I just wanted to sit my ass down somewhere and relax, but I see this is not going to be the case for a few more weeks.

Friday
Friday night, my father and I went down to downtown Silver Spring for dinner.  I wanted to show him the area because I think it would be a nice place for him and my mom to get into.  We toured the area with all the restaurants and expensive high-rise condos.  He did like the area and he said he’d consider it.

We ate at Eggspectations.  I had champagne and a crepes suzette.  I’m sure I didn’t need it but what the hell.  I’ve slowly started running again.  I should be back up to full speed by New Year’s.  I’m dying to get out and do eight miles but I don’t want to overdo it.

Saturday
I took my dad to do some errands in Laurel and then I went out with SF to start my Christmas shopping.  I was worried that I would not be in the Christmas mood this year but I think everything is a-ok.  I like Christmas.  I like Christmas shopping, Christmas music and Christmas decorations.  Forget about the fact that I’m not even Christian.  Since real Christians don’t even celebrate Christmas properly, I won’t stress myself over being purely commercial.  I think it’s just a great time to be joyous and thankful for all you have.  I don’t need to be Christian to appreciate those values.

I hate when it comes time for Christmas and everybody’s attitude becomes shitty.  I hate when people complain about Christmas music.  Okay, yeah they play it all day long on the radio from Thanksgiving to New Year’s, but you don’t complain that they’ll play the same lame ass Lil’ Wayne song 15 times a day for three months.  *eyeroll*  In my opinion, these are people who truly need to get a life.  Internally, they are depressed, angry or stressed at whatever situation they are going through and Christmas only compounds their feelings because they feel compelled to participate in an overly commercial Christmas.

I buy presents because I like giving people things I think they should have.  I like it when they are happy that I took the time to seriously contemplate a good gift for them.  I don’t just arbitrarily buy something.  I buy something in the hopes that they will enjoy it, use it and be grateful they got it.  And I do it with no expectation that I should receive something in return.  That is the most important thing.  I think some gift-givers hate giving gifts because they know they will get shit in return or they know the person they’re shopping for is ungrateful and probably won’t appreciate whatever they got anyway.  That’s just sad.

I like sitting down to a Christmas dinner with my best friends and family.  I guess we could do this at any time of the year but it’s just better at Christmas time with Christmas music in the background and a pagan Christmas tree.

The malls were crowded but I don’t really get stressed out about that.  I go with the idea that I have all day long and the mall will still be there the next day and the next day.  It took us a few hours of circling Columbia Mall before I figured out what I should get for Maq.  That is why two heads are better than one because I started the idea and SF helped me to finish it up.  Now that I’ve wrapped up the gift I’m so excited to give it to her.

Wal-Mart was the worst.  But if you’re in good company you don’t really notice stuff like long ass lines because there is only one register open.  What’s up with that Wal-Mart?  Get it together, please?  We hit up Old Navy and Target and after all of that we had been shopping for like six hours.  I was supposed to hit the club but I went home had a steak and two glasses of wine.  Good night.

Sunday
Okay, so I was supposed to spend the day relaxing.  Did I relax?  No.  Home Depot.  Wal-Mart, again.  After all that damn time I spent in there on Saturday you would think I got everything I needed.  Of course not.  I might have been able to relax after that but no… I had to go this play.

So let me tell you about this play.  I was invited to help support a friend who is a community/church theatre group.  No, don’t curl up your face like that because there are some community groups that really put on great plays.  Small-time local actors who have talent but they don’t have dreams of the silver screen or Broadway.

Anyway, this play.  I don’t want to bash it too badly because it does take a lot of courage to get up on stage in front of a group of people.  Plus, it takes some talent to write a play in the first place.  My ass isn’t writing a play.  I’d perform in one, but I don’t really have a strong desire to do so and my talent is probably mediocre anyway, so I can’t go and bash people who are just doing what they do for the love of doing it.

But there is a line to be drawn.

The one thing that I really didn’t like was that it was like a Martin episode rip-off.  You do have to be original.  That’s important.  And secondly, the shouting and carrying on made it difficult to follow the hole-ridden plot.  In the end, I think I understood what was going on but I was lost for awhile.

Also, the singing was ghastly.  I’m sorry, but it was.  I don’t come to a community theatre play and expect to hear old-school Whitney Houston.  I know what I’m getting, but when you sound like a dying cat tied up in a bag, it’s time to call it quits.  I also could have gone without the dancing.  I think the dancing wasn’t bad.  It was just unexpected and strange.  One minute the girl was singing and the next minute she started dancing, this weird interpretive dance and she had a strange expression on her face like she was in labour.  Then she started singing again.  At least the dancing explained why she was barefoot.

I give the play an E for effort.  I think it would be a lot better if they got rid of all the “Martin” characters.  Seriously, every Martin character was in the damn play:  the security guard, Jerome, Bro’Man, Shenehneh, and the stupid Elvis impersonator guy.  The only one missing was the karate guy.

After the play, I went home and had two more glasses of wine.  After all that, I needed it.

Next weekend the Kid is back.  Guaranteed to be a barrel of laughs.

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