Misadventures of the Village Idiot #62

Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year.  Forget the fact that I am not a Christian and that I certainly don’t believe that Jesus was born December 25 in a barn thousands of years ago.  That’s not the point.  It is a time of goodwill, renewed hope and cheer.  You don’t have to be Christian to appreciate those values.  As much as I hate to admit it, I also enjoy everything commercial about the holiday.  I enjoy Christmas shopping for presents.  I like meeting up with friends for socialising and merry-making.  I like the Christmas trees and lights and all that glittery crap that is associated with the day.  It’s just nice to me.  And I especially love the Christmas music.  I’ve got all the classics on repeat on my iPod.

I also hate when Christmas is over.  Everything goes back to normal.  People become nasty again.  They take the Christmas music off the radio and start playing Lil Wayne again.  It’s so depressing when Christmas goes away.  I have to wait another year for everything to be pretty and glistening again.  Oh well.

I started my festivities early like I normally do.

Thursday
I skipped out of work early to shop for my Christmas dinner and hang out with SF while she finished her Christmas shopping.  I went to the Amish market to get the rest of my fixins.  I always do up a great dinner.  Once again, you don’t have to be Christian to stuff your face.  We hit up every major store in America looking for a decent office chair for her father.  I think she finally found one 50 miles away.

Afterward, we met up with Maq at Red Sky so we could exchange gifts.  I figured since we would be busy with our own families we should meet up earlier to exchange our presents and make merry.  Make merry we did.  Geez!  We stuffed ourselves silly with half off appetisers.  I also enjoyed a glass of Malbec.  Note to self:  do not guzzle wine.  It makes you drunk.  The wine was so smooth that I drank it down too quickly and it went straight to my head.  One minute SF was sitting right in front of me, the next thing I know she’s off in my periphery spinning around in a circle.  I think the waiter was laughing at me.  How funny.

Maq got me some lemon-vanilla lotions which I wanted to buy for myself last summer but I ended up not and then they stopped making it.  I was glad to get that because I am running low on my sweet, sugary fragrances.  SF got me a portable external hard drive but the crazy thing is that I just bought one.  Granted, hers was a terabyte but the one I have is 500GBs and it’s highly unlikely that I would fill that thing up and a terabyte.  That’s just madness.  She graciously offered to swap it for an iPod deck which I always wanted but for some reason I never buy for myself.

Friday
I only did a half day at work.  I skipped out of there by 9AM to round up one last minute thing I wanted to get for the Kid.  I also had to meet my dad at the new apartment to sign the lease.  We’re moving into a temporary apartment until he closes on the house.  I like the new place, but I’m not really excited about it.  It’s luxury and very posh and all that, but you know how I am about unnecessary accoutrement.  The only thing I hyped over is the fireplace and the bathtub.  Call me a simple girl but I think it’s ridiculous that my guests have to pay $3 to park just to come and say hi.

Anyway, after that was completed I took the Kid to downtown Silver Spring.  The original plan was to have dinner with Ceciley in the City but she was getting her hair done and it took longer than expected.  So we ate at Moby Dick’s then we caught a movie, The Chronicles of Narnia:  Voyage of the Dawn Trader.  It was all right.  I am a Narnia fan but of course I like Harry Potter better and for some reason the Narnia movie seemed a little bit budget.  They fought some evil sea serpent at the end and it looked like claymation.  I guess because the second Narnia film didn’t do so well but they were already on the hook for a third one.  Whatever.  I just wanted to tire the Kid out so I could wrap gifts and get started on dinner without him annoying me to death.

I’ve started a tradition of a different Christmas movie every night but Netflix or the Post Office screwed us up by not delivering any mail on Friday.  I don’t know what happened with that.  We were supposed to get Elf in the mail but we ended up watching Die Hard.  Because nothing says Christmas like a terrorist attack and a high body count.

Technically, you could kinda consider it a Christmas movie.  It is Christmas time in the movie and they are constantly saying “Merry Christmas” to each other, so there.

Saturday
I got up at the ass crack of dawn to put the chicken on.  Naturally, I am into a non-traditional Christmas dinner.  I don’t do soul food, turkey, chitterlings, stuffing or any of that crap.  My dad don’t eat red meat, so I have to get creative.  I roasted a chicken and broiled a fish for the main course.  For sides we had sweet potatoes, shrimp fried rice (homemade, of course), macaroni and cheese and steamed spinach.  I also have to have a shit-ton of desserts:  brownies, lemon pound cake, sweet potato pie and fruit salad.

I did make Christmas breakfast:  cinnamon pancakes, omelets and maple turkey sausage.  Yeah, overeating but you know what… oh well.

The Kid woke up around 830 and we couldn’t hold him off any longer so it was time to open up gifts.  I think he was pretty excited with his gifts.  From my dad he got money, cologne and a football.  From me he received enough cologne and men’s bodywash to sink a ship, a stocking full of candy and junk food, a book, drawing and coloured pencils, an art book, a new keyboard for a computer that I’m passing on to him, 15 playstation 2 games and a partridge in a pear tree.  Well, no, I didn’t give him a bird but I know there’s something missing.  Oh yeah, the clothes.  I tricked him when it came to the PS2 games.  My sister gave me a crockpot for Christmas, but I opened it up early.  I took the pot out and put the games in the box and wrapped it up.

When he opened it, you should have seen his face.  Classic!  I don’t know why I didn’t take a picture.  He said, “Why did you get me a crockpot?”  I said, “Because you said you liked to cook.  You don’t like it?”  Before he opened the gift I told him I bet he couldn’t guess what it was.  I said, “It’s been something you’ve been begging for every time you come to visit me.  You’ve been dying for it.”  After he took all the wrapping off he was like, “I don’t remember begging for a crockpot.”  My dad told him to open the box so we could see what kind of crockpot it was.  That’s when he found the games and nearly shit himself.

He declared it the best Christmas ever.  Hahahahah.

I got a shower curtain from my dad (yeah, he don’t know how to buy gifts) but he did accompany it with a fantastic bottle of wine.  Sebeka from South Africa, a blend of cabernet and pinotage.  It was so smooth I’ve already killed the bottle.  Sad, but true.  My sister gave me a waffle iron and a crockpot.

We sat down to dinner around 130.  We like to eat early because that gives us plenty of time to make the rounds to various friends and family.  And to sleep it off and then stuff yourself some more later on that evening.  Usually we’ll have the main course early and then dessert later on.  We went over to my dad’s cousins’ house for a little while and we had one more stop to make but since I’d been awake since 5AM, I was tired.  The Kid and I went home to have dessert and watch a movie.

We watched Home Alone 2:  Lost In New York. You know it’s not Christmas without Macauley Culkin.

I haven’t my own Christmas present for myself yet.  I usually buy myself something every year but this year I seem to be in this holding pattern.  I want a camera but the one I want is quite expensive. I also can’t decide which one I want.  There are three that I’m looking at.  I get this way whenever I want to buy a big ticket item.  I do all this research to decide which one is the best and then I second guess myself.  What if I buy this one and that one is better?  What if I buy it now and they come out with something better?  What if I buy now and the price comes down?  It’s all so hectic.

I want to buy the camera soon though before I go out of town for New Year’s.

Sunday
We got up early to start moving crap over to the new place.  We also went to visit Maq.  I brought her some leftovers.  She was supposed to have dinner with us but it didn’t go as planned.  We stayed over there for awhile to chat and then came home so we could enjoy another movie.  This time we watched A Christmas Carol.  Not the classic one with Patrick Stewart but some other production with George C. Scott.  It was okay.

I let the Kid go on his merry way and play some video games while I took an afternoon nap.

We mostly chilled out on Sunday.  Then we wrapped up Christmas weekend with a little more murder and mayhem with Die Hard 2:  Die Harder.  It was Christmas Eve in the movie, so you shut up.

I have the rest of the year off so I didn’t have to stress about anything.  I’ll be heading to Orlando for New Year’s with SF and Maq.  I’m excited about that.

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