Misadventures of the Village Idiot #63

I have now returned to work after 11 much needed days of respite.  Of course, do I ever really get to rest on my days off?  Never!  The Kid was here and there’s never any rest to be had when he’s around.  I also moved into the new apartment.  I’m almost unpacked.  I just have a few things to put away, but I was contemplating the efficiency of unpacking entirely only to repack in a few short months.  I’m thinking about stashing those boxes away because there’s really no need to get into all of that.

For the New Year’s weekend SF, Maq and I travelled to Florida.

Oh, how I miss my lovely state of Florida.  Florida is like an old boyfriend.  We’re no longer involved but we still have feelings for each other.  There’s always a special place in my heart for the Sunshine State.

At any rate, we got up at fo’day in the morning on Thursday to make the drive down.  Yes, we drove.  You know I like long distance drives like that.  I haven’t made the drive in at least a year.  I used to do it five or six times every year to visit my sister but since she’s gone to AZ there’s been no point to go down as often.

I would say the ride went smoothly until the Kid decided to eat mystery meat at the Waffle House.  Waffle House is not exactly known for its hygiene.  It’s one of those places that it’s better not to look too closely at anything and just enjoy the grease.  You also shouldn’t really eat any meat from a place like that.  Nobody else ate any meat except him and he’s the only one that got sick.  By South Carolina his guts were bubbling over and we also hit a snag in the traffick.  I felt sorry for him but we dumped him at his house in Jacksonville into the loving arms of his mother, and then we proceeded on to Orlando.

A trip that normally takes about 10-12 hours ended up taking 15 hours.  That was horrible but I think if we had left on time we wouldn’t have run into so much traffick but there’s really no way of knowing.  We got to the hotel just before the lobby closed and I was grateful for that.  I wasn’t in the mood for an after hours check-in because if you ever need anything they are scarce to be found late at night.  The hotel was budget, but it was purposely so. I  will say that it was more budget than I expected.  Luckily, I prepared myself for a dump.  The bed was … weird.  There was trash still in the room.  The towels were scratchy.  The couch looked like they bought it from a jumble sale 10 years ago.  Eh.  You make do with what you’ve got though.  I try not to let things like that bother me because then you’ll just have paid all that money only to be miserable.

After running around to do some quick errands, we finally crashed after a very long day.

Friday
We got up at a reasonable hour to have breakfast, then we hit the Florida Mall.  I love this mall because it has all the stores I like and only a few stores I don’t.  I don’t have to run around to 15 different malls looking for everything I need like I have to in Maryland.  That’s so irritating.  The crazy thing is, though, we only did like 1/4 of the mall.  SF needed to get her nails and toes done and while she was in the spa, Maq and I were in Forever 21, where it took almost two hours to do what we needed to.  The store was one of the largest I’ve ever seen.  They must have redone it because I don’t remember it being so big.  In fact, I’m not even sure Forever 21 was in the mall when I was used to come.  At any rate, it took forever to go through the whole store, and then it took forever some more to wait in line at the dressing, and just slightly longer than forever to pay.  I guess that’s why they call it Forever 21.

By the time we finished the store and SF finished her spa services, it was time to go home and get dolled up for a New Year’s Eve party.  I opted for a party on Orange Avenue at a club called Tabu.  I’d been there before with my sister and Tykeisha a couple years back.  I give the place a B-.  I give it extra points because the music was danceable and there were lots of attractive men who weren’t on themselves.  You know, I have to compare my hip hop clubbing experiences from MD to FL.  In MD the places are over crowded with people who are all dressed to impressed only to stand around and stare at each other.  Nobody dances, and if they do, they only two-step.  In Florida, while we lack fashion sense, we try our best to get dressed up, but that’s not the point.  We come to dance.  And dance we did.  I danced my life away into the New Year.

For some reason I have a really good feeling about 2011.  Not just for myself but for all of my friends.  I’ve never felt this way before.  I think this is the year that we will all accomplish things that we’ve wanted to do but somehow we weren’t able because of circumstances or whatever.  When the clock struck 12, I was thinking.  I was very clear-headed about the future and I didn’t get a sense of …another year in the trenches.  2010 was a good year for me but I am quite confidence that 2011 will be an even better year.  I don’t know why I feel this way, but I just do.  I hope I’m right.  No, not hope.  I know I’m right.

We didn’t stay out horribly late, which I’m glad of.  We came back to the room to finish off a glass of wine and then SF proceeded to serenade us, only I didn’t know she was serenading us because I had passed out shortly after she was telling me…. I have no idea.  We were having a conversation and I think I fell asleep.  I was told later that she was in the bathroom singing her life away.  Maq, you should have recorded it to add to the blackmail file.

Saturday
Friday we lounged in bed a little longer, considering we went to bed at 3AM.  We decided to go to some flea markets in Kissimee.  It was an experience, I’ll say that.  I did buy some junk though.  That’s what happens when you go to flea markets.  You don’t need any of that shit they are selling but you end up buying it anyway.  Those people are really good at their jobs, offering you “best price,” and all that.

I did not care for the way 2011 started but I am getting better and better at not dwelling on the negative.  I will applaud myself for ignoring the foolishness and enjoying myself.  You can sit in a hot pot all day and nothing is going to happen except for your ass getting burnt.  Or you can get out of the pot and move on.

We attempted to go to the other Shoe Land in Casselberry but for some odd reason the store was closed.  There was no sign on the door indicating why the store would be closed.  All the lights were off, but it wasn’t out of business because everything was still inside the store.  I was really annoyed because it’s such a long ass drive for nothing.  We could have gone to the outlets like we planned.  But after all that, we were so tired that we came back to the hotel room to sleep.

For dinner we went to a place called Fishbones.  It was pretty good.  We all had steak and SF and I split a bottle of Cabernet, which she proceeded to become immediately drunk.  As I suspected, she is a goofy drunk.  She asked me how I figured what kind of drunk she is.  First of all, she doesn’t have the disposition to be an angry drunk.  She is definitely not a crybaby drunk.  I could see her being a talkative drunk, so actually I think I might adjust my assessment to say that she is a goofy talkative drunk, because she did talk a lot–weird, nonsensical things that nobody understood but her.

We came back to the hotel room to polish off the rest of the wine but we all discovered the wine was only good with the steak and by itself, it was just a big ole mess.

Sunday
I didn’t want to pack too much into Sunday because we had to get up once more at fo’day in the morning to drive home.  We went back to the Florida Mall but the shitty thing was that the mall didn’t even open until 12.  We were there at 1030.  Luckily, the sun was shining so beautifully so we sat outside to enjoy the fine weather.  It felt so good to be warm throughout my whole body.  I wore flip flops with my toes out.  As I’m sitting here in my office freezing to death I find myself longing for that sunshine once more, and I don’t even like outdoors.

When the mall finally opened we shopped our lives away for a few hours.  I think I cleaned up pretty good.  I bought several new dresses, some new body fragrances and some shoes from Aldo.  We finished up and had dinner at my favourite Chinese place 168 on Turkey Lake Road.  It’s been a minute and they’ve built that place up over the years.  There’s a Whole Foods now, a new sushi spot and Pei Wei.  It’s amazing how time flies.

After attempting to get some rest, we got on the road at 1230 in the morning.  The drive back was a little miserable because the car we rented was actually extremely uncomfortable.  I’m tired of everything being built for tall people.  It’s time to realise that there are short people in the world and we need love to.  The seat was agonising.  I bought a stupid travel pillow but that only slightly alleviated the irritation.  Plus, all that night time driving was making me sleepy.  Maq did her very best in keeping me awake.  I think I know more about her family history than she does.  By 530AM, I think we were all a little insane from being in the car so long.

We stopped for breakfast in Florence, South Carolina at a Cracker Barrel.  That helped a lot.  I got my mojo back and from then on we made excellent time.  I made the drive back to MD in less than 12 hours, and wonder of wonders, we did not get snowed in or stranded due to a torrential downpour or random hot lava flood.  It is amazing.

By the time we got back I was ready for it to all be over for many reasons.  One, I wanted to set that car on fire.  Two, things were brought on the trip that should have been left at home.  I will say that I had a great time however, because I will never let it rain on my parade.  I wish I had more time in Florida.  I wish I could have gone to the Harry Potter Experience.  I wish I could have seen the Cirque du Soleil show.  I wish I could bring the sun to MD with me.

I’m glad that Florida was on its best behaviour, though.  Because everybody enjoyed my state and I want so much for everyone to be in love with Florida like I am.  There was nothing negative to downgrade the experience, no freak thunderstorms or ghetto fabulous hoodrats, that Florida can be known for, to work everybody’s nerve.

Now I’m sitting at my desk, cold, wishing I was lounging poolside somewhere in the Sunshine State.

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