Misadventures of the Village Idiot #69

I had a pretty good weekend, but I wish it were longer.  I am going to petition the government that we start having four day weekends.  I need one day to recuperate from the work week, two days to enjoy the weekend and an additional day to recover from the weekend.  If you really think about it, no one is actually working five days a week, 40 hours.  If you add up the hours I’m actually doing real work, it’s probably only about two or three days.  So why waste time and money?  Cut the work week short. Or at least, that’s my way of thinking

I got off early like I usually do to run my errands:  the wine store (I’m becoming a wino) and the Amish market.  The market was very crowded, but they had so many goodies there.  I had an entire lunch just off samples.  I hurried home to get in bed for a much needed mid-afternoon nap.

Afterward, I called up Maq to see what she was up to.  She said she was at a happy hour at Timbuktu’s, so I decided that it might be something I could get into so I met her up there.  I have met some of her work crowd before and they are generally a very cool crew.  It was a going away for one of their co-workers, a supposed heart throb.  I’ve seen this guy from a distance several other times and I could never see the appeal.  After seeing him up close and personal, I am now convinced that everybody at her job must be blinded by his light-skinned-ness.  He is not attractive at all.  He looks like Lord Voldemort.  But whatever.  He is not my co-worker.

I hate the food at Timbuktu’s but I was starving so I ended up ordering a bunch of shrimp cocktails and some french fries.  The fries were cold but really I just needed something in my stomach.  I didn’t want to drink because I don’t like hard liquour like that and I also don’t really like drinking in public.  Besides there was enough drunken debauchery going on around me that I did not feel like I had to add my own stupidity to the mix.

Karaoke started around 9PM and I really wanted to sing but like I told Maq’s friend Jessica, I have to assess the crowd first.  I’m a versatile singer; I like to sing different styles and audiences are not always appreciative of this.  That’s why you need to see what the crowd is like.  No use in humiliating yourself unnecessarily.  This crowd was the older set, singing outdated R&B songs from an era long since dead.  Not really my thing, so I chose to sit it out.  Jessica, on the other hand, got right into it.  So did everybody else.  I just had a good time listening to the singing abominations.  There were a few good singers, but for the most part it was just a good time, especially the guy who totally ruined a Michael Jackson song.  I mean, this guy really ripped it to shreds.  It should be a crime in all 50 states what he did to that song.

In a strange turn of events, I started to give my phone number to one of the guys that worked there.  He approached me in the hallway with a “pressing need to introduce himself.”  I thought he was charming and that’s why I wanted to pass along my number.  At that precise moment I didn’t think about that, not until I was already back at my table.  I asked Maq for a pen and paper, and, of course, she had to be nosy trying to figure out who I was gonna give my number to.  Don’t worry, honey, I don’t want none of your coworkers!  I wanted what’s on the menu.  That sad part was that the opportunity passed and I could never get him alone to give him my number.  He was working the next room and I couldn’t exactly just go over to him while he’s serving someone their soup, “Hey, here’s my number.”

But you know what?  Everything for a reason.  Sure, I would wear him like a scrunchie but like someone else pointed out, most of the guys that worked there were really young.  Plus, he’s a waiter in a restaurant.  Was that very shallow of me?  Yeah, sure.  But it’s the truth.  Don’t you judge me.

I think I stayed out way too late on Friday because Saturday I just could not get right.  I couldn’t get out of bed to workout.  I didn’t want to do anything but just lay there but me and Maq had a girl-date to do some shopping and have pancakes.

We started at Security Mall in Baltimore.  I’ve always hated that mall.  It’s so budget with a limited number of name brand stores, but the one good thing they do have is the $1 accessory store.   If you’re looking for something cheap, that’ll fall apart in a few months this is definitely the place to get it.  Security Mall also has plenty of slutty club girl stores.  I saw this faux leather dress I thought was kinda cute but they wanted $60 for it.  I wouldn’t pay $60 for anything out of Security.

We went to Barefeet Shoes afterward, but amazingly I could not find anything to buy.  I really wanted to pick up a pair of sandals, the first of the season and to see what kind of boots they had on sale.  There was too many people in the store and I didn’t feel like digging through everything.  I was just too tired to do my shoe shopping justice so we ended up cutting that short and just heading over to the Double T Diner.

The whole point of the Baltimore excursion was to go to the Double T in the first place.  A few weeks ago, Maq was miffed that she didn’t get invited to pancakes.  Well, we had our pancakes and by the time we finished that itis was setting in something fierce.  There went the plan to go to Arundel Mill and the movies.  I wanted to see Adjustment Bureau but I knew once I sat down in a darkened theatre it would be lights out for me.

It ended up being lights out for the rest of the night.  I went home to take a brief nap but ended up sleeping for three hours.  I woke up around 6PM but I was still so damn tired.  I skipped out on the club, the movies and everything else everybody invited me to.  Oh well.

Thanks to stupid Daylight Savings Time I ended up kinda oversleeping for my race.  I think I had way too much sleep because I woke up in the middle of the night right after the time change.  I couldn’t go back to sleep until about 5AM, and then I woke up at 730, annoyed because I wanted to leave the house at 730.  I did get down to DC in a decent time but I couldn’t find parking.  I hate DC specifically for that reason.  I refuse to actually pay for a parking space, especially on Sunday so I drove around for about 35 minutes looking for a parking space.  I ended up like 10 blocks from where I needed to be, so I had to run halfway cross town.

I don’t want to be all tired before the race but there was just no choice.  We did the Capital Running Company St. Patrick’s Day 8K.  It was a pretty good race, very crowded but quite organised.  I was not surprised to see that Lunkhead skipped out on this race.  He talks a good game but can never really back it up, but like he says, “He is a sprinter.”  Whatever.

I am pleased to say that I turned in my best time ever in this distance (8K = 4.97 miles).  My first 8K, nine months ago was at 52 minutes.  I think I did the Navy 5 Miler in 56 minutes.  I did this race in 48:38.  So I can say that I have greatly improved.  I’m proud of that. I  am also proud of the fact that I finally beat Big Baby Jesus!  After all this time, ten months of running, I have finally beat him, not just tied him but beat him.  Now, let’s see if I can go two for two.  Our next race is probably a 5K, a much shorter distance, allowing us to run faster.  I don’t know if I can maintain a brutal pace, even if it is only for three miles.  We’ll see.  I’m going to train my ass off because now I know he will be coming for me.  He said he accepts the challenge.

But you know what, that’s good.  This is what is keeping motivated to stay on this crazy train.  This is what is keeping us in shape.  Working out by yourself is boring.  Yes, we all know that we need to do it in order to stay healthy and all that jazz, but it’s lame and gets old after awhile.  If you’re competitive with someone, it kinda gives you a purpose to improve yourself.  You’re staying in shape without even realising it.

We had our post-race breakfast at Founding Farmers.  I love that place.  We really and truly pigged out:  waffles, beignets, scrambled egg dishes, butter, caramel, chocolate sauce, bellinis, hot cocoa, just way too much going on.  But it was so good.  So good.

I laid up the rest of the day, watching this half dozen movies I have from Netflix.  I watched Salt.  I want to be Evelyn Salt when I grow up.  She is so bad ass, and I don’t even like Angelina Jolie like that.  Awesome.


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