Cubicle Death #16: Answer the Damn Phone!

So, I work in an area where there are several offices.  All of these offices are not related.  In general, we have no idea what is going on in each other’s office.  Oh, and by the way, the offices are not separated by walls.  It’s just a bunch of desks, a low cubicle wall and some more desks, a low cubicle wall and some other desks.

The office that is across from mine is a military office.  In addition to all their paperwork, they also have military tasks.  They have to do PT in the morning.  They have to go to the weapons range.  They have to do a lot of military things, so they aren’t always in their office.

They have a loud ass ringing phone that is incredibly annoying when there is no one to answer it.  Occasionally, because I cannot stand the sound of the phone I will answer it and leave a message for them.  When they are in the office they pick up on the first ring so it’s not problem.

This morning, they are out of the office.  Who knows where they are.  The phone starts ringing.  And ringing.  And ringing.  And ringing.  And ringing.  Whoever is calling must be calling all the different numbers associated with the office, not realising that even though there are four numbers for every office, all the numbers ring the same damn phone.

The phone has been ringing non-stop for 30 minutes.  It’s aggravating.  But what makes it more aggravating?  One of the military personnel comes into the office and sits down.  Presumably, he is waiting for the people who actually work there to come back.  The phone is ringing.  He just stares at it.  The phone rings continually for about five minutes.  Everyone in my office is starting to get irritated.  Even the office on the other side of ours is like, “Whose phone is that?”  The military guy is staring at the phone.

I’m like, “Could you please answer the phone?”

He says….

.… wait for it…….

………………………wait for it………………………….

“I would, but I don’t know how to use it.”

What the fuck do you mean, you don’t know how to use a phone?  I got so mad that I couldn’t even respond to such a stupid statement.  There is another military office on the other side of my office and the guy that works in there is pretty high ranking.  He gets up out of his desk and walks all the way across the hallway to the young military guy and the loud ass ringing phone.

“Do you work over here?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Can you answer the phone?”

“I would, but I don’t know how.”

“You pick up the receiver and say ‘hello.’  And then you take a message if you’re not able to help them.  It’s very easy.”

We do not have any special phones over here.  No, they aren’t like your average house phone but it’s like any office where you have multiple lines.  You pick up the receiver and press the flashing light (that’s the line that’s ringing) and then you say, “Hello.”  How hard is that?  Well, we don’t say ‘hello,’ but you get my meaning.  It’s not rocket fucking science.

This jackass will sit there and let the phone ring for ten minutes straight because he claims he does not know how to use a phone.  Really?  Really??????  Where do they get these people!?!!?


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