Trip Report: Las Vegas, June 8-12 (Part 4)


I was up again with the crack of dawn on Saturday. The Riviera does have a gym but its fee is not included in the resort fee of $7.94. I am curious as to what the resort fee does include. The gym has an additional fee, as well as the internet and other services. Since I refuse to pay additional, I went for a run down the Strip. I was surprised to see many other runners out there as well. I ran to Paris and back (hahaha, that sounds funny). I showered quickly and headed over to Peppermill for breakfast.

Do they give you a crap load of food, or what? I wanted pancakes but another server came out with a stack and I was like, holy crap! They were like satellite dishes. I ordered just one, and a crab omelet. I couldn’t finish either one, and let me tell you, I am not some delicate flower that eats half an ice cube and declares herself stuffed. I EATS! I just couldn’t do it though. If you are staying in this area and you are concerned about your money, come here. It’s reasonable, and you and your sweetie can share a plate.

I offended one of the waitresses without even meaning to. I was wearing an Antoine Dodson t-shirt that says, “Hide Your Wife.” If you don’t know who Antoine Dodson is, look him up on YouTube. This woman had never heard of him either and she said, “Just what exactly does ‘hide your wife’ mean?” I tried to explain it to her, but you really have to see the video in order for any of it to make sense. She came back several times demanding clarification. I told her that the video was a news clip about a young ghetto guy who had saved his sister from sexual assault. “So you think sexual assault is funny?”

No, I don’t, but the video clip is hysterical, especially since they made a song out of it. There’s a rap version, a death metal version and lounge act version. She didn’t get it and she kept giving me the death look the whole time. She refilled my coffee and I was scared to drink it.

I met back up with Becky and Co. later on. I still had the 24 hour bus pass that Maria helped me buy the day before so it wasn’t that bad getting to the other part of the Strip. Oprah had given Becky and Rey tickets to Celine Dion’s show and they wanted new outfits. We trolled the Forum Shops at Caesar’s for just the thing. First, we got lost. We entered the Forum Shops from the street and we were trying to get to the part with the long hallway full of stores. We went up one escalator and down another, up another and back down another before we realised that we were kinda going in circles. Turns out, they had a part blocked off and that is why we couldn’t easily figure out where we were going. We looked pretty dumb.

I wish I had had more money to shop. I saw so many things that could have easily gone home with me. It was depressing. But now that I’ve got my timeshare thingy, I can come back and get my shop on.

Let me tell you about the OMG Cookie. It really is called OMG cookie too. I got it from this chocolate shop right across from H&M in the Forum Shops. The cookie cost $5. My cheap self was making comments like, “This thing better be darn good for $5.” As soon as I put it in my mouth, I was like, OMG. And that is why it is the OMG cookie. It’s that good. Get yourself one.

After a brief respite in the room, Becky and Rey took themselves off to the Celine Dion show. Tam and I decided to find ourselves a steak dinner. Since we were both concerned about money, we decided on Mon Ami Gabi. I know there are better steak places and I will have to try them next time, but I was put off because I barely had two pennies to rub together. I still have to eat well though, no matter how broke I am.

Mon Ami Gabi was a great choice for us. If you get there around 5PM, the place will not be crowded. We decided it was too warm for outdoor dining and we had a nice little spot in the corner. The restaurant is a bit romantic for two women but whatever. We both ordered the steak bordelaise in red wine sauce. Gabi is known for its pommes frites, but I don’t eat potatoes so they went untouched. Instead I got a side of spinach and treated myself to a glass of red wine. Tam had a bread pudding for dessert which she declared was well worth all the extra calories and dollars.

We strolled through Paris on the hunt for a Napoleon. Becky had been going on about a Napoleon made with CUSTARD, not cream, the whole trip. I stopped to get a crepe at La Creperie while Tam checked out the bakery next door. No dice. We kept going. We went over to Planet Hollywood to stroll through the shops. On the way back to Caesar’s, we stopped at the Bellagio fountains. I noticed that there were an awful lot of Marines in their dress blues. We also saw many women in fancy evening attire. It was like Fleet Week, except with Marines and not Sailors.

My father was a Marine and I’m in the Army, so I like a nice looking man in his dress uniform. At first, we thought maybe a marriage, but we saw so many that I just had to ask what the deal was. I stopped one and asked him. He told me that they had been deployed to Afghanistan and as a result, they had missed the Marine Corps Ball, which is in November. So they put on their own ball in Vegas. I thought that was awesome. Looking back, I should have bought the guy a drink because he was very obviously excited to be alive and in Vegas. A Marine’s life can be more frustrating than a soldier’s life. We service people all have sacrifices to make. I ain’t gonna get on my soapbox about the military, so that’s all I’ll say about that.

By the time we were done with all that, Celine Dion had ceased her warbling and we met up with the other two for another evening of drinking. Becky declared the show phenomenal. She has seen the woman perform six times already. Obsession, much?

We walked the Strip for awhile. Becky stopped to get herself a pitcher of beer because a 12 ounce just isn’t enough for her. We ended up at Planet Hollywood again and then Pink’s Hot Dogs. I got one of those icee things with rum in it. It was one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever had in my life. I think the idea is that you should already be trashed by the time you sink to that level, so you can’t taste how awful their concoction is.

The freaks really do come out at night. It was like the later the night progressed the crazier the people became. I just saw all manner of insanity walking the streets. It’s really hilarious. I love to people watch and I notice the strangest things. We hung out at Pink’s for a little while, admiring the weirdoes that walked past us. I wonder what it is about Vegas that brings out the freak in people. Is it the endless alcohol? Is it something in the air? Who knows? I think I could have sat out there for hours just taking it all in.

But around 2AM, I gave up on life and walked back to the Riviera from Planet Hollywood. For those of you concerned about safety, don’t be. I don’t mean walk down the street with dollar bills hanging out of your bra, but for the most part people are silly and just want to have a good time. I did not come across anything or anyone that gave me pause, but I am from DC and nothing really scares me. My advice is to respond with the level of your interest. If you are not interested, make sure they know that. I give’em a mean mug and go about my business.

I got in bed around 3AM because I stopped to take pictures at the Wynn and was rewarded with some guy getting thrown out. He was trying his best to get back in and was brutally rebuffed each time. It was like something out of a movie. He would turn around like he was leaving and then try to run back up the steps but the bouncers blocked him. Then he tried to squeeze his way between the bouncers, but they just pushed him back. He tried several times to get past them and one bouncer finally said, “Guy, give it up. Don’t come back here.” I wonder what he did. Maybe he was caught cheating. I hear they don’t like that sort of thing round these parts.

Tomorrow: Sugar Factory, Drunk at 8AM, Walk of Shame, and the Wynn Buffet Disaster. Oh, and the naughty man in the elevator. I forgot, that happened on Sunday, not Saturday.


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