Ever since I got here, I’ve been having these bizarre dreams. I don’t know if it’s the stuff we’re learning about, the videos I’m watching or whatever, but it’s making me have these odd dreams.
So last night I dreamed that I was invited to a black tie affair. I didn’t know what it was about or anything but I got all dressed up in my best clothes and headed over to this fancy hotel. But before all this could happen, I had to smash a bottle of wine in my apartment. Then the toilet was messed up and I had to call maintenance. Yeah, I don’t know how all this fits together either.
So, I get dressed and we head to the hotel. I’m in the car with some people I used to work at TSA with, people I didn’t even really know like that. We drive around in the parking lot for about two hours looking for a parking space. I end up finding the absolutely last space ever on the very edge of the hotel property, about a mile away from the door. So me and my friends are hiking up to the door.
When we get there, my friends don’t have an invitation but I do, so I had to leave them. They were very upset. When I get inside, I realise why they are so upset. It’s not a black tie affair, it’s a Beyonce concert. Everybody knows that I do not really care for Beyonce. Yes, I have a lot of her albums and I occasionally listen to her music but I’m not a huge fan. I would never pay to go to any of her concerts; actually, I wouldn’t go to a concert for free. My friends knew that and that’s why they got pissed.
To make it worse, I had front row seats. I was right in the middle. So Beyonce comes on stage and she is wearing this homely housedress because she is pregnant. Seriously, imagine some ratty old nightgown your mother used to wear around the house that she wouldn’t be caught dead wearing in public. That’s what she had on. And she was like 15 months pregnant still trying to drop it like it’s hot. The crowd absolutely loves this. They are going crazy. Everyone is applauding, jumping up and down, losing their minds and I’m just sitting there like… what the fuck is this?
Somebody noticed that I was not cheering and she started yelling at me, telling me I was not showing the proper respect for Beyonce. I said, “well, she’s really not all that great.”
That started a riot. Everybody went absolutely apeshit when I said that and people started fighting.
On stage, Beyonce did a costume change. She changed from the ugly house dress into an even more horrific nightgown thing. She even had one of those turbans on her head, the type that grandmas wear when they cut all their hair off. And then she didn’t even look like Beyonce anymore. She had no makeup on and she closely resembled an older friend of mine. Meanwhile, the audience is really going crazy. Everybody is fighting about how much they are Beyonce’s number one fan and I am just sitting there.
Then I woke up.