Operation: WTF (Day 28)

The Long, Lonely Road

The weekend was…. I can’t say relaxing, because if it were relaxing, I would be at Scenic Meadow Drive, lounged up in my bed with my Netflix streaming on repeat and a bottle of Rioja on the nightstand…. so since it wasn’t precisely like that, I will say the weekend was less stressful than the week preceding.

A few days ago, some NCO came around to conduct an AAR, well, it was more like a climate survey to determine how we feel about the whole situation.  It’s not like our opinion actually matters, but some people really felt better after having said their piece.  Strangely enough something did come out of it.  They decided to have Fun Day.  They’ve been working us like Hebrew slaves this past month and to reward us for all our hard work they were going to take us to a contaminated lake nearby.  It was supposed to be a day filled with sun, swimming and fun.  Hate to say it, but whoever had this idea needs to be punched in the face.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that they were even thinking about us, but seriously, it’s 110 degrees outside.  Maybe these native folk find it stimulating to be exposed to that many UV rays, but I’m good.  And then we discovered that the lake was contaminated.  I don’t know what it was contaminated with, but I heard it was unsafe.

Much like the drinking water.  So instead of going to the lake, we opted to go to the Big Wal-Mart.  How sad life is that going to the Big Wal-Mart is a huge deal, but it really was.  First, it took about an hour and a half to get there, driving through some lonely country roads, where we saw all manner of country-like things.  Cows, pigs, miniature horses, a drunk guy on a bicycle.  We get to the town with the Big Wal-Mart and it’s like… wow.  Somebody let the kids out of the attic.

I wish I had brought my camera so I could capture some People of Wal-Mart moments.  I am not really into the exploitation of children, but apparently other people are.  I saw a little girl, maybe 8 years old, with five twenty-dollar bills taped to her chest.  Then we saw two girls, ages 11 and 9, wearing hula skirts and panties.  The sad part was that the hula skirts were missing quite a bit of grass strands.  The skirts consisted of maybe five or six plastic strands of grass.  So basically they were walking around wal-mart in their panties.  I guess parents do not realise that there are perverts, especially at wal-mart.

We hung around Wal-Mart for a few hours before heading back.  The ride back takes forever.  Everything truly is bigger in Texas.  Who designed this place?  The ride home was interesting because some of the roads were blocked off due to the fires that are plaguing this state.  Some times fire crews go out to create fire breaks to keep the fires from spreading.  When we first got here you could really smell the fires but now it’s kind of died down a bit.  The ride home was like a trip to an open zoo.  We saw coyote, cows, jack-a-lope, you name it, we saw it.  I wouldn’t like to run into one of these big ass cows on these lonely sad roads they have around here.

It’s depressing, to say the least.  When the sun goes down, you can’t see anything because there aren’t any street lamps.  It’s like you’re on a road to nowhere.  The mood began so jovial when we started out but as we approached the base, it grew quieter.  I guess everybody realised that our escape from Alcatraz was only temporary, and that the long, lonely road would soon end at the dusty doorstep of our internment camp.

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