When Will I Learn?
Someone recently told me that I need to be careful what I ask for. I do not know why I seem to have trouble learning this lesson. I seem to have a knack for putting myself in situations I don’t want to be in. I am already dangling precariously on the edge and now I’m forced to go somewhere I do not want to be. Every movement will be controlled and the little time that I had will no longer be my own. The mere thought of that kept me awake all night. There is nothing I abhor more than unreasonable demands on my time.
If another person says to me, “At least you get to move out” I am going to run away. How can anyone possibly imagine that dragging all my worldly possessions up and down the dusty trail would be amusing. I get to move from one tent to another and back again. Who wants to do that?
If another person says, “it could be worse,” I’m going to punch myself in the face. Until I actually experience worse, I don’t know what worse is. All I got to work with is what I’ve already been through and what I’m going through. I don’t know nothing about anybody else’s experience because I cannot walk in their shoes and they cannot walk in mine. It is like no one can understand what a hell this is for me.
If another person says, “it’s just two weeks,” I’m going to punch them in the face. Time is relative and we react to it based on our own perceptions. It’s not really just two weeks, because like I mentioned earlier as soon as those two weeks are up I get to come back here. Some reward.