If You Serve Enough Lollipops…
I am not sure why I expected anything different. I think I was on this high after we got off the plane. Everything seemed somehow different, like a miracle had happened. I felt like I was in this new world where everything goes exactly the way I wanted. Boy, was I in for a rude awakening. How is it the Army manages to take the simplest activity and just turn it into a shitfuck? I just don’t understand how things manage to get so totally fucked from the inside out. Nobody fucks you like Sam fucks you, and it is just amazing the positions he manages to get himself into. I cannot even describe to you what is going on because deep down inside I feel this boiling hot knot of vexation burning me up. It’s like having a really bad case of heartburn and everything you take to relieve it doesn’t help.
Last night I dreamt I was over there again. I woke up and realised that it was only a nightmare. Then I woke up again and realised that I was in a different nightmare. I dreamed that I was at the circus and there were clowns all over the place. I was in this maze and I couldn’t get out. The clowns said they would help me but they just kept pointing me in the wrong direction. Soon I was so lost that I just sat down in the corner somewhere and the clowns got pissed because I didn’t want to listen to them anymore.
The next time I have this horrible dream I am going to punch myself in the face to wake up. I was told, though, that there’s nothing you can do to escape. Someone said, “Don’t try to kill yourself; they’ll just pull the gun out of your mouth and tell you to go sit your ass back down somewhere.” You escaped hell only to find yourself in purgatory. You can take it or leave it.