Operation: GTFO (Day 17)

Chow Hall Blues

I don’t care what anybody says, the chow hall is still a home-cooked meal.

~Anonymous Civilian

You do know that's a camel's rump, right?

You do know that’s a camel’s rump, right?

Uh, have you actually eaten at the chow hall?  I mean, really, we’re like one step above dog food.  Actually, no, I take that back. That’s being too generous.  I was lulled into a false sense of security when I learned this place was run by the Air Force.  I remember the days when I lived overseas and we considered it a treat to eat at the O Club on the Air Force base.  I remember my siblings and I would get real excited when my dad said we were going out to Kadena Air Force Base for dinner.  They had this bomb ass Mongolian BBQ and a guy who played the xylophone in the corner.  I don’t know what I was thinking to believe that such would be the case here.

The first day wasn’t really that bad.  Maybe because I was tired and really hungry.  But two days later they served pink chicken.  No, the meat wasn’t pink, as in not cooked all the way.  The sauce was pink.  Candy coated chicken?  They said it was sweet and sour chicken but I was scared to eat it because food doesn’t usually come in pink unless it’s some kind of sweet or something.  That was like the hot topic of the day, the pink chicken.

The struggle is real.

The struggle is real.

In every unit there is a Soldier who actually enjoys chow hall food.  It could be for a variety of reasons:  he doesn’t get home cooked food at home, there’s not a lot of money at home so he eats what he can get, he doesn’t know that dog food is not to be served to humans.  It could be anything.  We’ve been here about two weeks now, and even the most stalwart chow hall advocate is starting to fail in his resolve.  It is little wonder the Day Room is STACKED with take out menus.  Last night a Chinese carry-out sent a representative to the Day Room to take orders.  We were literally lined up, giving this man our money because there’s nothing else to eat. Even the broke mother truckers are coming out their pockets because it’s that serious.

For whatever insane reason we put in a request at the chow hall to help us with our Mandatory Fun Picnic we had on Fourth of July.  They denied our request because we didn’t get together a committee to form a discussion to submit a memorandum on time.  They said it had to be done five days out.  Trust me, I didn’t shed a tear over the fact that we wouldn’t be getting chow hall hot dogs and hamburgers.  But since none of the Soldiers were in the training area, that meant none of us were around to eat at the chow hall.  So what did they do with all the food they had prepared for the day?  Uh, how about they served it the next day?  And the next day.  One Soldier told me the menu stated sausage and peppers for lunch and ham and potatoes for dinner.  Well, when he got there, it was indeed sausage and peppers for lunch.  It was also sausage and peppers for dinner.  And breakfast.  And dessert.  They just put whipped cream on top of it and called Creme de la Sausage.

Dead.

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