Biggie, Gimme The Loot
To stave off boredom, the new thing is to play Bingo at the Community Center. I’m sure none of us would have considered playing bingo back home, because that’s for old unmarried chain smokers with too many cats. I didn’t participate in any of the MWR activities on my last deployment, and this trek to bingo was my attempt at being more social. I’m not ashamed to say that it was actually kinda fun.
It was also stressful. Yes, bingo was stressful. At the beginning of the game, they allowed us to get two cards. The guy called the numbers really fast and I found it difficult to keep up. Then he said we could get three cards. I started missing numbers and I’m certain that I had a bingo but didn’t realise it. By the end of the game, we could have up to five cards. Total chaos. I’m looking for B-5 across five different cards and he has already called three more numbers. I came close to winning several times but was not actually successful.
What is interesting is that the prizes are actually somewhat decent. They don’t give away shitty ass t-shirts or some shit no one wants. They gave away Toshiba portable hard drives, Bose speaker systems, gold watches, shit like that. Okay, yeah, some of the prizes were lame: Kuwait commemorative gold plate, plain black backpack (which he described as a slingbag and I thought he said slingbacks, as in a cute pair of shoes). But the kicker is that whatever you get you can take it back to the PX and get a gift card for the monetary value. Uh, yeah.
No one on my team won anything, and then we got pissed because one of the AAFES employees won twice. He got the Toshiba hard drive AND the Sony blu-ray, which my battle buddy (47) really wants. So we decided that we would just have to jack him in the parking lot. I told our van driver, whom I’ll refer to as CJ, that 47 and I would beat him up as long as CJ didn’t mind driving the getaway car. CJ said, “Fuck that, I’ll just run him over with the van.”
This lets you know how serious the bingo game was. Of course, we decided our careers were worth more than a $100 blu-ray player that all of us could actually afford, but as CJ pointed out, “If we don’t win at bingo, how do we get Christmas presents for our families?”