Daily News October 22

Today is Thursday, October 22.  It is the 295th day of the year with 70 to go.

Today’s History

In 1746, Princeton was first chartered as the College of New Jersey.
In 1968, Apollo 7 returned home safely, splashing down into the Atlantic Ocean.

Today’s News

Cashier’s Check
Police are searching for the convenience store clerk who stole a winning lottery ticket from a customer in Texas.  The customer regularly comes into the convenience store several times a week to buy lottery tickets.  He bought a few and then asked the clerk to check to see if any of them were winners.  One of them turned out to be a $1 million prize, but instead of informing the customer of his win, he instead cashed the ticket out for himself and ran out of the store.  He had the money wired to his account and pretty much disappeared.  It is believed that he might have gone back to his native Nepal.  Police have been able to recover about half of the money and the original winner will have to prove that the money is his before he can get it back. 

I used to wonder about this.  Unless you see your winning number on TV or call the 1-800 number, what’s to stop a store clerk from claiming your ticket is not a winner and then taking the money for himself?  That’s pretty jacked up that he would do that, but desperate times call for desperate measures.  Why didn’t the guy ask for his ticket back?  When I noticed the clerk taking off, I would have went after him.  But I guess some people aren’t so bright.  Even though the clerk now has a warrant for his arrest and authorities have seized his assets, it doesn’t automatically mean the other guy is going to get his money.  He’s going to have to prove it’s his.  That means he’s going to have to pay some lawyer to battle it out for him.  He may never see his million dollars.  Sorry ’bout your luck!

Dope Job:  Pothead Wanted
A newspaper in Colorado is looking for a pothead for a job it’s advertising.  About 14 states allow medicinal pot smoking and it’s opened up a whole new industry in infirmaries and dispensaries that give out this medical pot.  Just like any other doctor’s office, you’d want to know what you were getting into, right?  That’s where the dopehead will come in.  Whoever he or she is, they will have to be legally allowed to smoke pot for whatever medical reason and then they will get to go around to all the pot smoking places and test their weed, then write a review on it so other potheads know where to get the good stuff.  There are about 800 legal pot dispensaries in California and about 400 in Colorado, one of which is right across the street from the state capitol.

Although I’m not a pothead, never have been and never will be, I believe that they should just go ahead and make it legal.  That way we can slap a bunch of taxes on it like beer and cigarettes and we can make some money, get us out of this recession.  Maybe we could even lower income tax if the tax on weed was high enough.  I know a lot of pot smokers and I think they would jump at the chance to be able to buy high quality leaves from a nice dealer rather than skulk around in some seedy scary neighbourhood in the middle of a turf war with the Latin Kings.  And look at the industry it’s providing.  This is jobs.  A pot reviewer?  A newspaper that reviews pot dispensaries?  Plus photographers that take pictures of pot places.  Pot aficianados.  Pot horticulturalists.  Pot happy hours.  Martha Stewart’s pot arrangements.  That’s jobs.  That’s money.  A lot of people are against it because it’s a drug and that’s bad, but so is alcohol.  Alcohol is the most abused drug in the United States and it’s legal.  Nobody is saying that I want zombie-faced meth heads roaming the streets, but think about it, you know a lot of potheads–you do.  They are the most unsuspecting people.  We’re not talking about Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and Grateful Dead fanatics; we’re talking about your pediatrician, your attorney and the guy who makes your latte every morning.  This is America and we like capitalism.  Think of the joy you would bring to someone buy giving them a marijuana leaf for Christmas.  ‘Tis the season.

Scamming the Scammers
An British man has been sentenced to almsot 5 years in prison for staging more than 100 car accidents to defraud insurance companies.  The man would pay “victims” to get into accidents with unsuspecting drivers and then force the drivers to pay hundreds of dollars in insurance fees because the accidents were always staged to make it look like it was their fault.  He would have one of his drivers swerve in front of someone and then slam on his brakes, but then another of this drivers would be right up alongside so he couldn’t change lanes, forcing him to rear-end someone.  The man did this almost a 100 times over three years and racked up quite a bit of money in insurance claims.  Office workers in a nearby building noticed that there were way too many accidents happening at this intersection near their building so they reported it to a safety commission who did an investigation and realised that all the accidents were pretty much faked.

I don’t feel sorry for the insurance companies.  They make enough money scamming us regular people on real accidents, but I do feel sorry for all the people who were in fake accidents and their insurance premiums went up.  Not to mention, it’s kind of stupid.  Yeah, getting rear-ended may not be the worst thing in the world, but 10 years down the line I’m sure your back is gonna be feeling it after participating in 100 car accidents.  Didn’t anybody ever notice the same three people were involved in accidents?  As an EMT, I’d be like, weren’t you just in a crash three hours ago?  You get an E for effort, but a zero in originality.

Celebrity News

Rapper Lil Wayne expects to get a year in jail on a gun charge that he just pleaded guilty to.  His tour bus was stopped after officers noticed the scent of marijuana wafting from the windows.  Allegedly, the rapper through a Louis Vuitton bag out the window that contained a semi-automatic weapon.  Lil Wayne has stated the weapon was not his, but the attorney said going through all the tests to prove otherwise would be problematic and long-winded.  Lil Wayne also has to answer to federal drug and weapons charges after being caught at an immigration checkpoint just outside of Yuma, Arizona (say hey to the folks!).  Now, see, if pot was legal he wouldn’t even be having all these problems, but I feel no sympathy for Lil Ugmo.  If you glorify a life of crmie, be prepared to do the time.  See hey to T.I.  Let’s hope you’re still relevant when you get out.  Sadly, though, this will probably boost record sales.

Today’s Thought

You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you always remain a pupil.  ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Daily News: October 13

Today is October 13.  It is the 286th day of the year with 79 to go.

Today’s History

In 1792, the cornerstone of the executive mansion, later known as the White House was laid during a ceremony in DC.
In 1999, the JonBenet Ramsey case was dismissed after prosecutors said there was not enough evidence to charge anyone with the girl’s death.

Today’s News

Thrice Fried
In a strange accident, a family of three were electrocuted and killed as they tried to put up an antenna.  The mother, father, and 15 year old son were all holding onto the antenna when it fell over and hit a power line, sending 13,000 volts of electricity through the antenna.  The mothe died at the scene and father and son were pronounced dead as they arrived at the hospital.

Sometimes it seems like someone really has it out for you.  That sounded like some Final Destination type stuff.

One Way Or Another
A German man who had been booted off a train for failure to buy a ticket, decided to moon the train conductors and ended up being dragged for about 200 meters.  The man got on the train and was asked to leave after it was discovered he hadn’t bought a ticket.  When he got off the train, he dropped his pants and pressed his butt up against the window to moon the train conductors.  The train started rolling and his pants got caught on something.  The train dragged him for 200 meters, but he was able to keep his legs from rolling under the train wheels.  Another passenger on the train saw what was happening and pulled the emergency brake.  The man now faces several charges including interference of rail transport.  He may also have to pay a large fine because the train was delayed for more than an hour and caused 23 other trains to be delayed.  The man says he is sorry and doesn’t suggest that anybody else try this at home.

I guess he figured one way or another he was going to get his train ride, whether he was inside the train, running alongside it, or hitched to the side.  This guy could have been killed or seriously injured.  I can’t imagine being dragged by a train is a fun way to die.

I Shall Have My Vengeance
An Indian man who was in court for stealing a ceiling fan has confessed to killing at least 11 women because another woman refused to marry him.  The man had been arrested after he was caught stealing a ceiling fan from a mosque.  While he was being questioned in court, he randomly said that he was responsible for the deaths of 11 women in the area, whose murders all remained unsolved.  The first woman he killed was the wife of his brother in law.  The other women were all aged 17 to 35.  He would lure them in by telling them he was interested in marriage.  When asked why he killed these women, he told the judge because he had been rejected by another woman 15 years ago.  He said out of vengeance he would kill 101 women.  He did not say whether he had killed that woman or not.  The man is now married with two kids, but he said he has never forgotten his vow and began killing the women in 2007.

See how people are not wrapped right?  So this woman rejected him.  That’s most unfortunate, but you see he was able to find another woman and start a family.  Why did he feel the need to continue this “vow” and kill these other women who had nothing to do with the first woman?  Perhaps I could see if he started killing off her family, or maybe even her, but random women who had nothing to do with that initial rejection.  How does that even make sense, and on top of that, he was at the court because he stole a ceiling fan and then he just came out with, “Yeah, I killed 11 women.”  Uhm… I hope they have the death penalty over there in India and since it’s a third world country, I hope it’s gruesome and inhumane.

That’s My Ride
A Kansas man has been arrested after he stole an ambulance during a night of drinking.  The ambulance was parked in an area where there are plenty of bars and specialty shops.  The crew was responding to an emergency when a random guy came out of a bar and jumped into the ambulance.  He led the police on a brief, low-speed chase through the small town.  When he eventually stopped he told police he took the ambulance because he had no other way of getting home.

Uhm… first of all, why would you think that it’s okay to take an ambulance?  Secondly, if you are drunk, why are you trying to drive at all?  But then again, most drunks are never rational.  I just can’t see me stumbling out of a bar and into an ambulance.  How am I going to explain why an emergency vehicle is parked in my driveway?

Porn and Viagra:  The Necessities of Life
A store in Detroit has been closed after it was discovered the employees were allowing customers to purchase alcohol, pornography and Viagra with their food stamp cards.  Customers could also get cash if they allowed the store employees to charge an excess amount to the card.  The employees would then file for reimbursement with the U.S. Government in a scam that resulted in more than $100,000 in two years.  All three employees have been arrested.

So, you do know that food stamps are only for the basic necessities of life.  There are serious restrictions as to what type of food you’re allowed to buy.  You can’t get Froot Loops, but you can get Fruit Rings.  So you mean my tax dollars are hard at work so someone can get his rocks off?  Thanks.  Thanks a lot.

Me and My Best Friend
A Houston man has been arrested on drug charges after he was found sleeping in a closet with a dead body.  Apparently, both men had been doing drugs some time that day and eventually found themselves in a closet.  One man fell asleep and the other one died, although the cause is not immediately known at this time.  Initially, the man who was still alive was charged with abuse of a corpse, both those charges have been dropped.

Well, isn’t that disturbing?  But first of all, I need to understand why they get in the closet in the first place?  Yeah, I know when you’re on drugs you don’t really make a lot of sense, but what was it about a closet?  So you climb up in the closet and one man falls asleep while the other one dies.  Did the guy die before the other guy fell asleep?  He was like, “Aww, man, my friend died.  Well, anyway, I’m tired.  G’night!”

Today’s Thought

Nobody holds a good opinion of a man who holds a low opinion of himself.  ~Anthony Trollope