Bizarre Dream #12

Recently, I’ve been having bizarre nightmares.  I can’t tell you where these visions are coming from.  I don’t do drugs.  When I drink, I don’t really dream.  I try not to watch things that are too scary.  But lately, I’ve had these dreams where people I know are dying, tornadoes, other natural disasters.  I wake up in a cold sweat, and even though the dream was completely farfetched it just seems so real.  Maybe I need therapy.

Last night I dreamed that he and I were sitting here watching TV as usual.  Then he said he wanted to go to the store, so we went.  Nothing spectacular happened; we bought a few things and came home.  As we pulled up to the house, he said that he wanted to get some things out of his car so he wouldn’t have to come back out later.  It was getting very cold.  It was still daylight, though, like maybe 1 or 2 in the afternoon.  I stood outside waiting for him because even though it was cold, it was warmer than it had been in recent days and there was actually some sun out.  The sun started to disappear after a few minutes.  It started to get really dark, like nighttime dark.  Then I saw a Spanish woman running down the street.  She was screaming in Spanish.  My limited Spanish skills were enough to know that she was petrified of something, a beast.  When I looked in the direction she came from there were other people running and screaming.

The sun was setting very quickly.  You know how in winter the sun is so far away and at sunset it can look like a teeny little ball?  Well, that’s what I saw in the dream, and then so randomly, this dragon just pops out of the horizon and eats what was left of the sun.  Yes, I know, it doesn’t make any sense but this is  dream–not real life.  We both start screaming.  We drop everything we’re carrying and run into the house.  In the dream, no one else lives in the house, I’ve got the whole place to myself.  So we’re upstairs and able to look out the window.  The dragon is golden, with red eyes and big leathery wings.  He is sitting on top of someone’s house.  People are screaming.  Then it blows fire at a house and it is engulfed in flames.  The dragon flies around for a little bit and then actually eats one of the houses across the street.  People run out of the house but the dragon sets them on fire and they are all dead.  All this carnage is going on but the dragon does not seem satisfied.  It seems to be looking for something or someone.

It goes on like this, houses getting set on fire, people getting set on fire, houses getting eaten.  Then the dragon notices that we are watching it from the window.  It flies above our house where we can’t see it.  I tell him that I think we should get into the basement.  We run down the stairs just as the house is set on fire.  Smoke is everywhere.  We can’t see anything.  We’re coughing and choking.  We huddle into a corner in the basement, and I’m pretty sure this is the end.  But the dragon eats the top of the house and now he can see us.  The dragon doesn’t want me; he wants him.  I tell him to run away, even though we both know he wouldn’t get far.  He tries to run but the dragon scoops him up.  I start screaming.  People outside are screaming.

I felt so paralyzed.  I couldn’t do anything.  Then I started crying because I felt helpless, which is bizarre in and of itself because I never cry about anything.  Then I woke up.

And the shit seemed so real…. because people get eaten by dragons almost everyday.


Bizarre Dream #11

I had another bizarre dream and this one is directly related to whatever Sam has been forcing me to eat.  I think he put something psychotropic in the food and it is making me having bizarre hallucinations.

Last night I dreamed that they let us go off post to do some shoe shopping.  I was very excited about this because I saw these heels in Cosmo a few days ago and I wanted to get them.  I should have known they would get me.  Gotcha, bitch! Because it wasn’t shoe shopping but boot shopping.  Strangely enough I wasn’t even upset because I needed new boots.  I was in a room with a wall full of different kind of military boots.  Wherever we go, they tell us that we have to have  a battle buddy and I was with two other female soldiers from a different unit.  While I was trying on the boots they left.  I asked them to wait up but they hurried away.  I tried to follow them but the lady was mad because I had not paid for the boots I was wearing.

I took the boots off and went running after the two other soldiers.  They disappeared and suddenly I was lost inside a huge mall.  Normally, this would not even faze me because then I’d just shop until I was found again but for whatever reason I was terrified.  I kept calling around but nobody would answer.  There were other people in the mall but none of them paid attention to me.  I found a door to exit and I walked out and instead of a parking lot, it was some kind of dusty wilderness.  I did not have any shoes on, just the army OD green socks.  Of course my feet started hurting walking over rocks.  There was nobody outside.  I started calling out but nobody answered.

I think I walked for hours and my feet were all jacked up, suddenly I saw a building and I ran to it.  When I opened the door one of my friends that I worked at TSA with was standing on top of a table.  She was wearing a terry cloth robe and nothing else.  Then she started to dance like a stripper and I asked her why she was doing that and she pointed to some camera.  I quickly left out of there and instead of the dusty terrain it was snowing.  Just when I was about to give up, two of my other friends showed up and they had some boots.

They said, “We’ve been looking all over for you.  Here are your boots.”  And then I woke up.

What was that about?

Bizarre Dream #10

Ever since I got here, I’ve been having these bizarre dreams.  I don’t know if it’s the stuff we’re learning about, the videos I’m watching or whatever, but it’s making me have these odd dreams.

So last night I dreamed that I was invited to a black tie affair.  I didn’t know what it was about or anything but I got all dressed up in my best clothes and headed over to this fancy hotel.  But before all this could happen, I had to smash a bottle of wine in my apartment.  Then the toilet was messed up and I had to call maintenance.  Yeah, I don’t know how all this fits together either.

So, I get dressed and we head to the hotel.  I’m in the car with some people I used to work at TSA with, people I didn’t even really know like that.  We drive around in the parking lot for about two hours looking for a parking space.  I end up finding the absolutely last space ever on the very edge of the hotel property, about a mile away from the door.  So me and my friends are hiking up to the door.

When we get there, my friends don’t have an invitation but I do, so I had to leave them.  They were very upset.  When I get inside, I realise why they are so upset.  It’s not a black tie affair, it’s a Beyonce concert.  Everybody knows that I do not really care for Beyonce.  Yes, I have a lot of her albums and I occasionally listen to her music but I’m not a huge fan.  I would never pay to go to any of her concerts; actually, I wouldn’t go to a concert for free.  My friends knew that and that’s why they got pissed.

To make it worse, I had front row seats.  I was right in the middle.  So Beyonce comes on stage and she is wearing this homely housedress because she is pregnant.  Seriously, imagine some ratty old nightgown your mother used to wear around the house that she wouldn’t be caught dead wearing in public.  That’s what she had on.  And she was like 15 months pregnant still trying to drop it like it’s hot.  The crowd absolutely loves this.  They are going crazy.  Everyone is applauding, jumping up and down, losing their minds and I’m just sitting there like… what the fuck is this?

Somebody noticed that I was not cheering and she started yelling at me, telling me I was not showing the proper respect for Beyonce.  I said, “well, she’s really not all that great.”

That started a riot.  Everybody went absolutely apeshit when I said that and people started fighting.

On stage, Beyonce did a costume change.  She changed from the ugly house dress into an even more horrific nightgown thing.  She even had one of those turbans on her head, the type that grandmas wear when they cut all their hair off.  And then she didn’t even look like Beyonce anymore.  She had no makeup on and she closely resembled an older friend of mine.  Meanwhile, the audience is really going crazy.  Everybody is fighting about how much they are Beyonce’s number one fan and I am just sitting there.

Then I woke up.

Bizarre Dream #9

I had a dream that I was with my friend Becky in a high school cafeteria.  We were sitting at one of those tables they usually have in cafeteria, long and white with the chair-benches attached to it.  The table wasn’t full so when some people came and asked us if they could sit down, we agreed.

What was very odd about the dream was that most of the people in the room were high school students, regular looking kids like you would see in any high school across America.  The people who wanted to join us at the table were obviously not high school students.  In fact, they were like dignitaries from foreign countries.  I think two of the women were from some kind of Scandinavian country.  There were some men and they all looked some kind of Asian.  When they asked to sit down, I scooted over a little bit but not all the way to the end because there was a bar underneath the table dividing it from the next table.

Becky asked me to scoot over and I told her no.  One of the Scandinavian women had to sit down on the very edge because I would not move over.  Becky kept asking me why I wouldn’t move and I said it was something that I felt strongly about.  I said, “Sometimes you have to give a little and sometimes you just have to put your foot down.  I don’t want to move and that’s my final answer.”

Becky got really mad.  Then I got really mad.  The Scandinavian woman said not to worry about it.  Oddly, she said this is in her native language and well understood her.  Not just the inference, but really understood what she was saying, although I am pretty sure I have never heard anybody speak any of the Scandinavian languages in my life.  Becky turned around to the table behind her to tell someone who rude I was being.

I started talking to one of the Asian guys about how she does this to me all the time, how I have to be the one to compromise.  I was so upset that I got up from the table and made a huge scene.

“Are you happy now, there’s plenty of room because I’m leaving!”  I was shouting and Becky started to laugh.  Then I started to laugh.  Then we all agreed that everything was not that serious, but I was done eating.  So I told everybody that I would wait for them outside.  As I was walking away, Becky stopped me and asked me, “No, seriously, though, why wouldn’t you move over?  It’s not that hard.”

I said, “Well, you know what, it’s because of the damn bar under the table.  I have a skirt on so I couldn’t exactly straddle it.  If anybody happened to look under the table they would see that I didn’t have any underwear on.  You know I am not really into underwear like that.”

Then with some horror I realised that President and Mrs. Obama were sitting at the table with us and he had heard everything I said.  I just stared at him.  Then Mrs. Obama started laughing.  She said, “I don’t like to wear underwear either but I do because I don’t want the National Enquirer to find out and make a big deal out of it.”

President Obama started laughing and said, “I don’t think any of us like to wear underwear.”

Even though everybody was agreeing with me, it did not make me feel better that I had just humiliated myself in front of the President of the United States.  I walked out of the cafeteria and that was the end of the dream.


Bizarre Dream #8

The other night I had another bizarre dream.

I dreamed that I was at a beach, hanging out and having fun.  A little boy came up to me and told me that another little boy had found a plant.  They wanted me to go look at the plant.  I went over to where the plant was and I discovered it was hideous, so hideous that I was utterly repulsed.  The plant even seemed to have a presence about it–an evil presence, if such a thing can be attributed to something that isn’t sencient.

The boys ran off, leaving me with the plant.  It was so ugly that I had to leave it too.  I went back to the beach but I started feeling very strange like something was inside my head.  I started talking to myself.  Everyone on the beach stared at me as if I were crazy.  I started to feel self-conscious so I left the beach.  As I was leaving, my aunt called me.  She told me that I was possessed and that I needed to come to her house right away for an exorcism.  At first, I did not believe her but when I really started thinking about it:  who talks to themselves like that?  That must be the reason everyone was staring at me.  Everybody knew that I was possessed.

I agreed to go over to her house right away.  My phone rang again and this time it was a friend of mine.  My friend also told me that I was possessed.  My phone kept ringing and every time it was another friend or family member calling to tell me that I was possessed.  For some reason, I don’t know why, but after I got off the phone with yet another person calling to tell me that I was possessed, I looked at my answered call list and saw that I had no calls.  That would indicate that no one had call me, but yet, my phone had been ringing all day long.  Something told me to call my aunt.

She talked to me as if she had not heard from me in a long while.  I asked her when she wanted to come over.  She sounded very surprised that I was coming to the house.  I do not visit often.  I told her that she had called me earlier and asked me to come over.  She said she didn’t remember that but if I wanted to come over I could.  I decided that whatever was possessing me, maybe some kind demon was using the contacts in my phone to communicate with me.

I went to my aunt’s house.  I told her about the phone call.  She said that she would perform the exorcism.  She made me get all these candles and light them around the house.  We did some other things, but I can’t really remember exactly what.  Then when it came time to do the exorcism, she said that she didn’t want to do it anymore.  She asked me to leave.  I left her house and went over to my friend’s house to ask him for help.  I told him that I was possessed and he said he had something that would help me.

He gave me a cell phone, a deck of cards and some other stuff wrapped up in a napkin.  He said, “These are all the tools you need.”  Then he shut the door and I was by myself.

Then I woke up.


Bizarre Dream #7

So, two nights ago I had a dream that I had a baby.  Haha.  Before you start thinking that this is indicative of anything, let me tell you what kind of baby it was.

First of all, I didn’t physically have the baby in the dream.  It was already born.  It was about six inches tall, about the size of a Cornish hen.  For some reason, when I first saw the baby I immediately thought of a Cornish hen.  It was like a little chicken with a head.  The baby could walk, talk and do everything anybody else could do.

The baby would not allow me to carry him, insisting that he could walk on his own.  The baby was exceptionally smart and everybody would always stop by to ask the baby questions.  One day, we went to the mall and somebody tried to kidnap him.  I couldn’t do anything to prevent the kidnappers from getting away, but the baby turned out to be well-versed in martial arts.  There were about five kidnappers and the baby was able to defeat them all very easily.  Everyone was very surprised.  This made even more people try to kidnap him.  We had to have an armed guard around the house.

But the crazy thing is that the baby was the one who set up all the security around the house.  For some reason, I was very stupid in the dream.  The baby was smart and made all the decisions.   It was truly amazing.

So I wonder what all of this means?  Amazing, super smart baby the size of a little chicken.

Bizarre Dream #6

I had another weird dream the other day.  I’m surprised I remember it.  Most of the time you forget the dream as soon as you wake up.

Anyway, I had a dream there was some kind of mattress wrestling contest.  Not that kind of mattress wrestling, but like MMA stuff.  I was a spectator not a participant.  It was all these guys not even really wrestling but more like running into each other.  After they ran into each other, they would have to run into things, like cars, walls, whatever, to obliterate it.

One of them had to wrestle the Kool-Aid man.  I don’t know why I’m dreaming about the Kool-Aid man since I haven’t had Kool-Aid since I was about 12.  Anyway, the guy was so big that the Kool-Aid man said, “Oh no!” and the guy was like, “Oh yeah!”  Then he ran at full speed into the Kool-Aid man and obliterated him.  He turned into Kool-Aid and splashed everywhere.

Then I woke up.  Yeah, I need Freud to try to figure that one out because I sure as hell can’t.